microwavable kat

A few words from the failed baker turned lolly maker.

2010-12-15T04:14:00.004+11:00

Okay, so recently (by recently I mean a few weeks ago) I bought a pretty book that had all these old school lolly recipes. Like, candy hearts, musk sticks, nougat, fudge, honeycomb, coconut ice, peanut brittle, etc. And I was waiting on the delivery of the hand held mixer, blender, and whatnot.
Well, I have everything but the candy thermometer (which I may have by tomorrow), and I have enthusiastically started making the lollies that don't require the thermometer.
I started with the candy hearts because I have always loved that they are:
1. Heart shaped
2. Pretty coloured
3. Have messages on them
I had the stamping kit and everything was set. Well, what I thought was going to be an enjoyable stamping fun time, turned out to be about 9 hours of work. The thing wouldn't turn into a dough like it said it would, and I was standing there for half an hour with the electric mixer, so I ended up using lots more icing sugar (which I made Ali go out to the shops to get for me) to get it to the dough texture, then it kept sticking to the benchtop, and then when I got it into 6 balls it started drying out because it was time consuming trying to dye all the different segments, and I was getting dye all over the benchtop and my fingers, then having to stamp out the heart shapes meant they dried out even quicker, by the time I finished rolling and stamping and rolling and stamping the first hearts were dry - which is bad you see, because I needed to stamp before it was dry.
And then then worst part -the stamping - which was the part I looked forward to most - having to find each individual letter and stamp out a message takes an awfully long time, and when the heart is already dry, you just crack the poor thing with your stamping, so they looked very heart broken and unhappy. And of course dough would get stuck in the tiny crevices of each letter, like the holes in the letters that have holes in them, so I had to pick, them out otherwise you wouldn't see the letter stamped, you'd have a blob.
Nine hours later, I was all out of messages, they were all stamped and then they had to sit there and dry for at least 24 hours before you can pack them away. I have to say they were very pretty, and if you held them up to the light you could make out the messages, but I didn't like the taste of them, but then, I've never been a lolly fan, I like the look of them, but they usually taste boring.
These ones just tasted like sugar to me, and not of the flavours that I had made them.

Then tonight I tried out the honeycomb recipe, which looked super easy, and I watched Nigella Lawson do it on TV a few nights ago - so that gave me the push to try out my recipe. Um, fail big time.
Even though there were only a few ingredients and nothing to the cooking process, it still took about 10 minutes to measure everything out - which Ali did for me because they had to be weighed, and of course the stupid glucose syrup is like super glue so it took me another 10 minutes to try and get it out of the measuring jug and into the pot, as did the honey.
Then I had to cook it til it was caramel and golden. Um, that was tricky because I am not sure what that colour is - I mean, it is so subjective. Golden to me may look yellow to you, or whatever. Anyway, I got Ali to stand there and look with me and we waited until we thought perhaps that was golden/caramel enough. Of course it was hard to see through all the bubbles because you have to bring it to a boil, and we didn't want to burn it, but at the same time, we didnt want to undercook it. Anyway, you add bi-carb and whisk and the thing bubbles and foams like a scientific volcano experiment and then you pour it out onto baking paper and let it set.
So I did that, and wasn't sure if I had whisked it enough or too much (not enough, it won't incorporate, too much and you lose all the bubbles that it needs to make that aerated bubble thing that honeycomb has going on). Well, it was supposed to set in 45 minutes. I made it before 12am.
It is now almost 5am.
The thing did not harden, instead it stayed sticky. So I tried to put it in the oven (after lots of googling), it did not rise and go puffy like the person said it would. Instead it looked like I was back to square one - like I'd just poured it out into the baking paper to set. So I had to wait another 45 minutes for it to cool down and harden.
It didn't, again, so I tried a different trick - I put it in the freezer. This time it hardened so I cracked it and tried a bit - it tasted really yummy, like honeycomb! Only it was like superglue and I could hardly open my mouth to chew it, it was like a toffee apple lolly. It got stuck behind my teeth and I had to use my finger to scrape it out - ah, brings back kiddy memories.
Anyway, I started cracking away and storing it between pieces of baking paper in a container (you're supposed to store it in an airtight container as air will cause the honeycomb to soften - although as my honeycomb never got to the hard stage, this probably didn't apply to me), anyway, it started getting soft as I cracked until I couldn't break it anymore, it was just bending between my fingers and sticking my fingers together.
So back in the freezer it went and more waiting.
Anyway, I have finished cracking and putting the whole lot into the box, ate some - even freezer hard it is still chewy like toffee, nothing like honeycomb. And then I put the box into the fridge.

Tomorrow I'm going to try and make the coconut ice - which is this disgustingly sweet looking coconut slice thing.
It looks totally old school and is a recipe that doesn't require a candy thermometer. I'm excited. I'm hopeful that it will turn out exactly like the pictures, because the recipe looks pretty easy and the ingredients are easy. There is one process that I'm not sure about but I have my hand held mixer so it should be okay.
Despite the fact that I'm echoing all the things I said about the other two recipes I've made so far, and they've so far been completely disasterous (noone, should be spending 9 hours making lollies) I think the coconut ice will be okay.

Just to be on the safe side though, I think I should get Ali to buy a bunch of baklava for his work morning tea instead of counting on me to produce something for him to take, because seriously, that honeycomb can remove teeth, it's so chewy.

I'm thinking that I am not a good sweets maker. I thought lollies would be easier because they didn't involve too much oven usage, as I have found I am a terrible baker - cookies never rise, they spread all over the paper and then get stuck to it so bad I end up scraping them off with my fingernails and rolling the cookie bits into balls and pretending they were supposed to be cookie balls (how disgusting), and cakes and anything oven related is always a fail.
But no, so far my lolly making has been pretty screwy too.

Hm, it's 5am now, so I should probably go to sleep. I'll wash all the pots and pans and measuring spoons and cups tomorrow. So much effort! Stupid lollies.

Muse

2010-12-10T03:04:00.003+11:00

Saw Muse tonight! We had these awesome seats 3rd row from the front, super close to the stage.
I was getting excited because I'd be able to see the people without looking at the screens but then when the support band started I almost died from the noise.
The speakers were right above us and were so earsplittingly loud. I think my ears bled.
Still, when Muse came on, my ears were oblivious to the pain.
They are so my absolute favourite band in the whole world!
Ali had these fancy earplugs that he tried out and has decided they are awesome - they are special earplugs that block out excess noise and let in the sound that you want. So he was having a great time whilst I was wincing.
I think I might need them next time, well that is, if we end up with such close seating. I think I'd be okay if we were sitting a bit further. Nim and Carol are going tomorrow night. Perhaps I should warn them.
Afterwards we dropped Julia and Mark at Julia's place and got Kirspy Kremes. I had eaten 2 by the time we got home, and there are now only two left in the box. We bought a dozen.
I am such a late night binge eater. Although I was good and didn't get Macca's.

Breakfast Fail

2010-12-06T07:42:00.002+11:00

So a few hours ago, when I said I was going to go to bed, I lied, because I ended up staying up, and as Ali is doing 7:30am starts, I had the ingenious idea of staying up and surprising him with breakfast! Not just any breakfast, but the first ever breakfast I make for him as a wife! Or ever! For that matter!

You see, I am not a breakfast person, I abhor being awake during breakfast hours, and if I am awake and I eat something, I feel ill and bloated for the rest of the day, and half an hour after eating, usually need to go to the bathroom and expel whatever it was I ate.

Also, as he had mentioned a few days ago that he would love to wake up to breakfast, and he had thought this would be one of the perks of married life, I thought, well, seeing as I am up and he will be up soon, why not?!

I had envisioned him to be lured awake by the delicious smells of food wafting around the house, but no such luck. I heard his alarm go off, and, silence.
So I had personally woke him up and announced that he had breakfast to eat, only to be met him a 'Huh?! What?! But baby, I have to leave in 10 minutes! I don't have time to eat breakfast!"
Um... bummer.

I guess I must've seemed really bummed out (aided by my pitiful "So you really can't eat any breakfast?" knock through the bathroom door), because he said he could maybe have a bite.

I had made soft boiled eggs with parmesan soldiers. It's a recipe from Poh's Kitchen (I think I love her more than any other cooking person on TV ever), and involves cutting batons out of brioche (I just used plain white bread), dipping them in whisked eggs, tossing them in a parmesan and thyme mix and frying it til crunchy and crispy. Oh and soft boiling some eggs. And also cutting a circle out of a piece of square toast and parmesaning and frying that up and that becomes an edible egg cup.

Anyway, He sat down and had literally, one bite before getting up to leave.
I hadn't fried the bread enough, and I also didn't season his egg and toast so I didn't blame him for thinking it was a bit ugh tasting.
Also my dreams of heavenly smells wafting under the bedroom door and waking him up fell through because parmesan stinks pretty bad, like egg farts, so it wasn't exactly the most appetising of smells to wake up to.

I remarked "All my hard work." And Ali said, when he said he wanted breakfast, he meant on the weekends. I knew that.
He also said that he would want something very light for breakfast, as he would probably throw up the breakfast I made today. (We share the unbreakfastable gene).
I said next time I would just wake up and pour him a bowl of cereal.

He gave me a kiss before he left and asked if I'd be able to eat whatever it was he didn't. Considering he only had one bite, I had to eat pretty much the whole thing myself.
Luckily I decided to keep the breakfast 'light', so 5 eggs, 3 of which were soft boiled, 2 of which were whisked and used to coat the bread, and about 1/2 a cup of parmesan (I am exaggerating a little about the parmesan) later, I am still feeling okay. Except for a slight dull headache.
I'm thinking I have an egg headache but I'm not sure. It could be because I haven't slept yet.
But another part of my great plan was to not sleep so that I could finally (hopefully) sleep at a normal hour tonight.

Of course, the first part of my great plan - the breakfast part - didn't go so well so perhaps I shouldn't follow through.
Ali said I should go to sleep otherwise my muscles will start to ache.
He also said at one point he woke up and turned over to talk to me only to realise I was not in bed. Hehe.
I'm like a ninja. Kind of.

Of High Tech Gadgets and Old School Exercise Equipment

2010-12-06T04:31:00.004+11:00

I should really be in bed, but I've been having such a hard time falling asleep lately.. well, for over a year now, and these eyebags are well and truly here to stay, methinks.
I almost never go to bed before the sun comes up and the day starts, that's when I crawl away to hide. It's terrible I know.

Ali has ordered me an electric mixer/beater thing, hand held, and also a hand held blender. I am excited because all I need is a candy thermometer and I can start making lollies.
First on my list is candy hearts - those pastel coloured heart lollies with printed messages on them. I have a letters stamp kit that I bought in Hong Kong that is going to be perfect for them!
At the time I remember thinking, do I really need a letters stamp kit? I mean... really?
Carol said I would probably use it for something creative, and that was enough to justify buying them. Luckily an old school lollies book I bought had that recipe... it must be fate!
If it all goes to plan and the hearts are successful, I am going to make little packets of lollies and play shop!
... by myself!
Wow, I'm such a loser. I'm hoping the stuff is delivered before too long, because it would be nice to make them before Christmas hits, then I can package them up as presents.

Oh, the mixer is pink. Score!

Oh, and Ali also ordered some kitchen scales so I can measure flour and whatnot with extreme accuracy, and also new bathroom scales... the ones you stand on to tell you your weight, BUT, this one is almost $200 and is so fandangly it not only tells you your weight, but it does some sort of zap thing where it scans your body and tells you your water content, body fat total, fitness level and all this other stuff that has completely left my head because I didn't even know it existed.

I am super excited because it will be like having a quiet little robot friend who can tell me my overal wellbeing and I can take steps to rectify my extreme unfitness... now to convince Ali to buy me the Robomaid vacuum robot machine thing that keeps popping up in the side panels of Facebook. That thing looks so cool, but I can also imagine it bumping itself repeating against a wall in some corner and crying because it can't walk backwards. I don't know why I am making it sound like it is shaped like a human-looking robot, because it is just a circular flat thing with no arms or eyes or voicebox.

Anyway, back to the mega cool hugh tech futuristic fortunetelling bathroom scales.
I already have a workout plan ready for when the scales tell me I am harbouring too much body fat: Hula hooping.

I bought one a while ago because Ali was standing in line at Rebel Sport as he was buying a basketball, and it was a long line, and standing next to him was totally boring and there was a rack of hula hoops in front of register. Subliminal? Impulse? Whatever the strategy for putting the three assorted size hula hoops there, it worked because before too long I was touching them, admiring their plasticness, and then had one off the rack and was playing with it.
I ended up convincing Ali that I needed one, and we agreed that if I got really good at it, I could come back and buy another one. The red one. This will be soon, because I have used my blue hula hoop a total of about 5 times and I can tell you that I can now hula hoop for like, totally at least 20 seconds sometimes, without it falling.

I actually googled hula hooping when I brought it home to see how you are supposed to use it, because, being the responsible person that I am, I never use any exercise equipment unless I read all the instructions because you can injure yourself. Anyway, it is supposed to be a great fitness too, and if you hula hoop during tv ad breaks whilst watching your favourite show, just during the ad breaks, as fast as you can, for a total of 20 mins, you should see a difference in a few weeks, to your waist and hips area.
That's all I got up to reading, but it was enough to entice me to try it!
I have since hula hooped a total of one ad break.
This is why I know I can hula hoop for at least 20 seconds straight.

I would like to point out that I didn't know how to hula hoop when I bought the hula hoop, I was totally scamming my husband into buying it for me because I fancied owning a circus item.
But then went home and tried it and found out that I had magically learnt how to hula hoop! I think the power of officially owning a hula hoop made my brain go, "I am so proud of being the owner of this $13.95 blue plastic hula hoop, that I am going to coordinate my hip swivels to master the hula hooping movement."

Oh another thing, when we were on our way to the car, a little girl we walked past had a little hula hoop but it was pink with red ribbon wrapped around it, and she and I had this moment where we acknowledged each other as fellow hula hoop owners but I was totally jealous of hers because it was also glittery and mine was just plain blue plastic.
Ali said her one was probably cheaper, and in fact, the other day, he found a link to like 60c hula hoops. I don't know why he sent it to me. Was he trying to hurt my feelings?
And a friend from Ireland said she saw ones for a few dollars. I was totally ripped off.
Perhaps Rebel Sport stock sportsman grade professional hula hoops.
Well, that's what I'm going to tell myself anyway.

Everyone should go and buy one, it totally hurts and makes your body itch afterwards, like you have hula hoop burn, but when I have abs of steel, I will be the one having the last laugh.

I also finished Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box. I love the Professor Layton games. It's just a bunch of puzzles that you have to solve but they're super fun because I get excited when I solve one. Mostly I am stumped on the maths questions but when I solve them I get the biggest kicks. What a nerdy game to play.

I would post pictures but I can't be bothered. I'm still trying to get back into the swing of blogging words.
I can hear people driving to work so I think it is time for me to shut out the world.

Tomorrow I making steak and baked potatos for dinner. Cheat steaks, as I am trying out this premarinated pack of steaks from Woolies. I'm a sucker for anything packaged up, and these were vacuum sealed, too cool.
Tonight I made stir fried vermicelli noodles, and topped it with a fried egg. If you were at an eatery, the fried egg would totally cost you at least an extra $1.50.

A Nothing Post

2010-12-01T02:31:00.002+11:00

So I'm being nagged by Thi to post something because I have posted 3 long posts, she has posted 1 tinsy post, unless you also count the like, 3 word post she did a second ago, and yet, she feels that it is justified to tell me it is my turn to post. The nerve!
Of course, her post included a fabulous picture of the cutest little puppy, and also and awesome giant rock, and not just any rock, an ENGAGEMENT rock (the best kind of rock as we all know because wedding rocks are usually not present or tiny little things on a band and you'll probably never get anything like that ever again).

So what has been happening with me?
Tonight Ali and I watched the last two episodes of Poh's Kitchen (I adore Poh AND her kitchen), and Ali has requested breakfasts from now on. I am so not a morning person but I do like the idea of doing some breakfast dishes, because I love breakfasts.. just not during breakfast hours.
So I'm going to totally do up some good old breakfasts like baked eggs and tomato and grilled bread with a block of butter for spreading and crepes and all sorts of yummy breaky goodies.
I will serve it up on a breakfast tray, go into the bedroom and (carefully so I don't tip the contents) wave the tray under his nose so the wafting smells can waken him from his sweet slumber (more like big fat snoring volcanic slumber) and then he can go eat breakfast outside whilst I go back to bed for a few hours.
Nah, I will probably eat as well because who can resist food smells? I know I can't.

I made a mushroom risotto for dinner tonight, with swiss brown, and shitake mushrooms. I also made a saffron, garlic, lemon and sage oil to drizzle over it and this time I actually found sage at the supermarket. However I didn't like the sage so much, I found it didn't add to the dish at all.
So I will just stick to the saffron, garlic and lemon oil.
By this I mean very thinly sliced garlic and lemon zest in hot oil, until the garlic is chip-like.
It helps with the heaviness of a risotto.

Tomorrow I am making hainan chicken for dinner, I leerve this dish, and am so surprised by how easy it is to make! Even though it is a tad time consuming. Oh well, it is totally worth it. The silky chicken skin.. the minced ginger oil... mmm!

I have to go and iron Ali's workshirts now. If I wait til 4am, Just Shoot Me will be on, but I think I will just iron and try to go to sleep. Unless there is something awesome on TV.
I doubt it though. Usually it is just a bunch of those Guthy Renker ads that I end up totally NEEDING only to look it up on the internet and find a whole heaps of complaints that make the product a total turn off. But they sound so good in the ads..

Burgers and Babies.

2010-11-21T03:25:00.002+11:00

I am so full. So I am calming my stomach and preparing myself for teeth brushing by downing a glass of cold water.
Ali and I went drive through Macca's today for our midnight snack.
We had a Big Mac and a Cheeseburger each, and shared some nuggets. We also had a Frozen Coke and a Strawberry Thickshake.
The Frozen Cokes are a recent discovery, although they've probably been on the menu for a while now. Who can keep up with McDonald's and their ever expanding menu?
We had extra sauce on our burgers as well as extra onions on the cheeseburgers. I love adding extras. It makes the burgers taste so much better.
Except all the extra Big Mac sauce made me feel really nauseous. So I don't think I will do it again. I've done it twice now, and the second time (tonight) was just to confirm that it was too much sauce, (confirmed), and so I can safely eat a Big Mac from now on, without thinking 'gee, this would taste so much better with some more sauce'. I think it is because they already do two sauce squirts on the burger as opposed to the normal one squirt on their other burgers (to do with the triple bread parts I guess), or maybe they were just too generous with their extra saucing, because I almost felt ill from the overdose.
Cheeseburgers on the other hand, really benefit from extra sauce (both the tomato and mustard) and extra onions. I love their onions, meticulously chopped to an inch of their lives. I had so much onion in my cheeseburger tonight, there was a whole bunch stuck on top of my bun. That's so cool. Instead of sesame seeds, I had onions squished into my bun.

Then we had cereal. I had a really gigantic bowl and felt quite ill afterwards.

I am home alone right now, because Ali got called in to work, and he told me that I should go to sleep, and not to wait up, but I am going to, because I am a good wife.

Actually it is because I am an insomniac and I'm still trying to digest my food and contemplating whether or not to attempt turning on the gaming contraption thing and trying to play a video game. I am so bad at that stuff that I don't even know what the machine is called, and I don't know how to get the game to work, so I don't think that is going to eventuate.
You see, I have one game, and it is called Fairytale Fights, and I am Snow White and I go around chopping up people and rabbits and stuff, and I slide around in their blood. Ali says my game is really stupid and really unresponsive controls. He plays hard games, and when I try to play them, I can't seem to walk in a straight line and get my 'person' to look in the right direction all at the same time, let alone try and shoot or whatever.

Today we went to Ali's parents' place for a bbq. All the babies were over, and there was a lot of talk about babies. I zone out because I find it incredibly boring and repetitive, and some of it is just plain common sense/stupid. I don't think I'm ready for a child.
I'm curious as to what Ali and my child will look like, but I am not curious enough to have to carry around a parasite in my body for 9 months and then have it explode from my vagina and leave my body in ruins. It's all so horrifying if you think about it.

My Gran has been telling me to have babies. She'll just bring it up in the most random conversations.

*About to get into the car to leave.*
Gran: "So remember to cook the melon until the meat becomes like strands and then you just scrape it off."
Me: "Okay, I'll probably try it tomorrow."
Gran: "When am I going to get to hold a great grandchild?"
Me: "What?!"
Gran: "You need to make a baby."
Me: "Er.. okay bye Gran, see you next time." *Gets into car*
Gran: "Babies!!!!"

or

Gran: "So you just boil the dried scallops in the soup and they'll fall apart eventually. Take the whole bag."
Me: "No no, I'll just take a few, I don't want a whole bag, I don't even know how to use them."
Gran: "I said take the whole bag!!"
Me: "No Gran! You use it! If I want more I'll get more!"
Gran: "You're too polite! You know what I really want?! Great grand children."
Me: "What?!"
Gran: "Don't be scared! You don't have to be scared!"
Me: "What?!
Gran: "Don't leave it too long! You think I wasn't scared?! But back then we didn't know how to dodge the babies. These days you have pills!"
Me: "What?!"
Gran: "But you have to get off the pills a month before!"
Me: "I'm not on pills!"
Gran: "You don't know anything!"

And so on. Ali thinks it's really funny because it's super random, and my mum thinks it's funny and she told my gran that she doesn't even blink, when she talks about it (as in no shame).

Anyway. No babies. Not even for my Gran.

Ali's back! Good timing! Maybe I can convince him to play Mario Kart with me. Married life is cool.

My body is a machine.

2010-11-20T02:11:00.003+11:00

I've got the shakes.
No it is not because I am old and decrepit, it is because I haven't eaten in a few hours. For some reason, I don't just get hungry, instead, my body starts to shut down, and my hands start shaking, my head gets all woozy and I feel all faint, lightheaded and weak. How vulnerable.
It's my weakness. Lack of food. I think you could totally break me down and get me to spill the beans if you starved me as a form of torture. Er, that sounds stupid because I'm sure you could do that to a lot of people, but I think it would work faster on me. I don't even move much so I don't know why I need so much food.
I do notice that I eat a lot when I am on holidays, more so than when I am at home, because I do so much more physical activity on holidays. So three bowls of rice and bowls of soup and stuff for breakfast is not out of the norm on holidays.
I just had a banana and that is why I am able to type this post. I am trying to just stick with the banana, as it is past 2am and I am trying to be healthy, however I feel terrible so I might go make myself a more substantial snack. Like eggs. I dearly love eggs. I have run out of milk so I cannot have cereal which is my favourite late night snack. And a mi goreng will take too long.
But it is so rewarding. Perhaps I will mi goreng it. If I don't faint and spill boiling water on myself in the midst of making it. Hm, if I make mi goreng I can also have eggs, so that kills two birds.
My head is starting to hurt again from lack of food so I have to go. I think my heart beats are getting more faint too. Maybe I'm dying.

Exploding back onto the blogging scene.

2010-11-17T03:56:00.003+11:00

I'm back! I am making an almost end of year resolution to start blogging again, because I miss it, because I want to be able to read back on old blogs when I am 85 (assuming I am not dead), and go "Crikey! What a radical child that Microscopic Kat was." And have my grandaughter Marzipan tell me that that radical child was me in my mid life. Oh my gosh, I am reaching mid-life. Actually that would mean I was only going to live til 60. Hm. I can't do fractions so I can't get any more precise than mid-life. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to deal with it.
Marzipan.. hm, maybe I should keep that for my own child's name.

So alot of things have happened since I last blogged, and the biggest change personally, is getting married. That is right, I am no longer a Miss, but a Ms. No I am not missing the 'r', I am deliberately a Ms. I just think it's more mysterious that way. And I am keeping my own surname. Because I am not fond of change. And changing the name on all my cards (all 2 of them) is just too much hassle.

But my being married is not what I want to talk about right now. Perhaps I will talk about it another time, seeing as I am committing myself to blogging again and will eventually run out of current topics as I am now old and a housewife and I don't get up to much anymore.

So what can I talk about? I actually had an urge to blog a few hours ago, but it has since passed and now I am babbling as I am struggling to think of a topic, and I'm hoping that babbling will mean I chance upon something. So far, it is not working out for me.
My stomach is starting to hurt again so I will have to end this post soon. And I would have successfully talked about nothing. Nothing unusual there I suppose.

Ali and I had our local Indian today, it is a 5 minute walk away but we chose to go by car and found a park right in front of the restaurant. Score. It was really yummy but super filling and we had to takeaway a lot. We must be getting old as we used to polish off two curries and be stuffed but there would be nothing left. Worms in my legs, why has thou forsaken me?!
I've had an upset stomach for the past 3 days, and I've been exhausted from running to and from the bathroom. I guess it doesn't help that despite this, I made laksa for dinner yesterday, and then went for Indian today. Heavy foods on an already upset stomach spells disaster.
Hm.. I kind of feel like more cereal.

I have been on a cereal binge.. oh, since I've been married. I love the fact that I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, and in whatever state of undress I want.
This is fantastically liberating. You should try it. If you aren't living with your parents.

So explosive diarrhoea and cereal aside, I've also been getting into Foodspotting. Which is this awesome site where you can find yum foods near you, wherever you are, and you can also upload any pics of food that you find, that are delicious to add to the database of yum foods, so that others can find them too!
It's worth checking out, and Fiona is working for them, so that's another incentive.
Ali, I'm talking to you. This is my page.
Thi, you should do it, as you eat out a lot!
It's totally fun and addictive.

What other news do I have to add to this first post?
Let's point form it.

1. I have been getting fat. So fat in fact, that the dress that I bought in Hong Kong (spontaneous 8 day trip 2 weeks ago with Carol) that I was going to wear to a wedding this past Saturday, no longer looked good on me, and I had to rush out and buy a new dress to wear. Not that I don't like owning a new dress, but I definitely don't like rushing around trying to find one due to fatness.
To be fair, the dress is salmon, and satin, and calls for me going commando underneath as it reveals every bump and line, and it is completely figure hugging. But I am quite anal when it comes to looking perfect in outfits so I couldn't wear it to the wedding.

2. I finally got sick of my eyebrows the other day and plucked madly ABOVE the eyebrow. They always say never do that. But I did. And I have to say, it has made a major improvement, as the ones I plucked were of course annoying strays that just weren't working for me, and although providing a bigger arch shape, were just messy. And now that they are gone, my brows look neater. I am quite proud of myself for taking the plunge.

3. The outfit I got to wear to the wedding was a Cue dress. This is my second Cue dress, and I think this really signifies me getting old as I am into Cue now, rather than say.. Supre. Not that there is anything wedding appropriate at Supre.

Okay I can't think of any more things, and there was not point to this post, or a central subject, but hopefully it will be the rusty start of something beautiful. Ha.

I think I will try to poo my guts out one more time before I go to sleep. The birds will start singing soon if I don't hurry.
Goodnight.

Beauty and the Geek

2009-03-24T17:37:00.004+11:00

Ali and I have been addicted to Beauty and the Geek - an American reality show which pairs up a beauty with a geek, they have to compete with a bunch of other so paired teams in all sorts of challenges to win $250,000. The point of it is for the geek to impart wisdom on the beauty and for the beauty to help the geek with his social skills.
It is the best show ever! But we've watched all of them so now we have to find something else to do.
I think the thing that we love most about it is how terribly stereotypical the contestants all are. The beauties are really really really dumb, beyond dumb, and the geeks are so awkward and socially retarded it's just hilarious. If we lived in America, we'd totally enter it.
I am dumb enough, and the 'beauty' part is questionable because some contestants look like transsexuals. And Ali can pull off a dork look until the makeover episode where they will wax his entire body (they seem to love to do that to all hairy geek contestants) and all the beauties in the house will fall for him. He'll have to pretend to be really awkward but I think he is smart enough to compete in the geek challenges.

Some of their challenges are: Beauties have to teach a year 3 class on a subject (maths, history, geography). Geeks have to mix a drink but make it all cool by flipping the things in the air etc (One geek tossed around a milk pitcher thing - obviously not for flipping, and milk went everywhere). Beauties have to have a debate (One beauty 'thought' for the entire time she was on stage so didn't say one single thing). Geeks have to get girls' numbers (One geek resorted to pretending he was gay to get numbers?!). Beauties had to get guys' numbers - one set had to wear really ugly clothing and no makeup, another set had a make-under, with bad acne scarring, fat suit, bad teeth, broken noses, hairy eyebrows etc. Geeks had to write and perform a rap.
Hm it's sounding very boring when I'm retelling it huh? Oh well.
I love trash tv. It's so entertaining.

Shit Fuck Mother Flip

2009-01-24T01:28:00.003+11:00

My sister (currently hamming it up in Byron) came down for a one week stint, she'll be leaving on Monday.
I've been stressing out over it because it has inevitably involved almost daily family interaction and at the best of times, this interaction is strained. It is almost never the best of times. So I can safely say I've been all tense and irritable and depressed.

Firstly we had to have a family dinner on Wednesday (the day she arrived) only Ali and I arrived and had to wait half an hour before Mum, Dad and Olivia turned up.
The story, Olivia later that night relayed to us over coffee at Ice and Slice - involved Mum making Dad take a hundred million back streets, until he was lost and began asking Mum (notorious backseat driver who sits shotgun) where to turn next, whereupon Mum decides to tell him to do whatever he wants and refuses to give instructions, so he is ineffectually LOST, whilst she says things like "If you turn left you are going to ______, if you turn right you are going to _____, if you go straight you are going to _____." All of which of course, not being West Ashfield. SO Dad says "So... where should I turn to get to West Ashfield?" And Mum is all "I'm just telling you so you know where these roads lead you." But not answering Dad, of course.
Typical Mother bitch.

After dinner finishes we go our separate ways (Olivia with the parents, me with Ali) only as we decide to go to Newtown for a late night cuppa, decide to see if Olivia would want to come along. She does - and to the parents "Can you just stop the car?"
Anyway, she tells us that during that 10 second ride in the car, Mum has told Dad off for not noticing one of his friends' ex boyfriends. And it was all "You should have said hello to him, he saw you and wanted to say hello but he was waiting for you to see him but you didn't see him, but you should've because I recognised him and he was your friends' ex boyfriend." To which Dad was all "Oh really? Well I didn't notice him or recognise him so I didn't know to say hello." And Mum continuing with her accusation "Well you should've recognised him. I was waiting for you to recognise him but you didn't. You should've have said hello, so rude, he was waiting for you to see him."
Dad "But I didn't see him so that's why I didn't say hello, if I had I would've."
Mum "Well you should've said hello. You should've recognised him."
Dad "But I didn't?"
Mum "But you should've said hello."
Dad "But I didn't see him to say hello."
Mum "Well I was waiting for you to recognise him to say hello, because he was your friends ex boyfriend and you should've recognised him to say hello."
To which Olivia interjects, and establishes that Dad didn't really know the ex, and it was an old friend, and it doesn't matter if he didn't say hello if the ex obviously saw that Dad didn't notice him at all so he himself decided not to say hello.

I sat there fuming over my ginger and apple gelato and thought, why didn't Mum point him out to Dad if she was so keen on them exchanging pleasantries instead of saving it for a stupid mind numbing roundabout accusation in the car.

That night Olivia and I relived old clothes circa 1990, weirdly enough we still fit (although our chests were constricted) into our matching outfits and we took some photos to commemorate. She is going to take my one to Byron to wear. Slightly disturbing that she fits into my old kiddie clothes comfortably. But good because this is recycling at its best.

Went to the city the next day and had Korean (she doesn't get much variety in the Bay) and did a spout of shopping before heading home for another family dinner. This time with the grandparents. Thankfully we had good food - chinese style eel (shits on Japanese style eel's arse because it actually resembles eel but they no longer serve it in a coil - aww), it was done in two ways, one salt and pepper, the other um... in a sauce, but not black bean, it had peel in it, this yummy egg white only silken tofu with seafood dish that is great for the toothless, Olivia craved this vinegar porkchop dish but we ordered wrong and it was a version of sweet and sour pork but yum and not fluro, and also gai larn (that chinese vege you get at yum cha - lerve it) and duck with taro joined together with a crisp layer, and um, I can't remember if we had anything else.

Then today had lunch with Dad and Olivia at Pho Pasteur and then a 5 minute visit to our aunt's place (she wasn't home. Visit: epic fail), but our Uncle was home but he isn't a talker. Then Olivia went to the city and I went to Burwood.

The worst thing is the parents had organised a get together to see Olivia for Sunday, which I agreed to, but Olivia can't make it so I am going to have to spend dinner with the family AGAIN on Sunday. But this time with aforementioned aunt and uncle at their house. Then Mum wants Ali to come over on Monday for a new year's lunch of veges. You know how asians make a giant pot of veges (shiitake, enoki, black fungus, goji berries, those white big lump berries that also go in sweets, bean curd sheets, carrot etc) for the new year? Yeah.

God! That's about all of last year's family gatherings lumped into January this year. Sheesh.
I just tell myself it it nearly over and there shouldn't be another until our cousin's wedding on the 1st of March. Which should be a bit more okay as I shouldn't have to make conversation in the mayhem of a wedding.

Oh, and Olivia informed me that that time, ages ago, when the mother told Olivia and Dad I was a prostitute because I wasn't home (I was actually in bed but she refused to listen to them) and then she came into my room and lifted the covers and bent over and stared at my exposed lady bits (I was frozen in what-the-fuckness as I was awake as soon as the door opened but feigned sleep because it was too bizarre to 'wake up' inconveniently during this pervy gyno exam) and how Mum and I had a mother of an argument when she kept trying to open the shower door - as in the shower - she'd already opened the bathroom door (she removed all locks bar her door) and was trying to open the shower door - I was showering of course, and I screamed out that I knew she called me a prostitute blah blah big fight whilst trying to keep shower door closed and keep soap suds from blinding me - ANYWAY that was the background.
So Olivia newly tells me that the next day, when Dad was driving her to the station, he said to her that she shouldn't have told me about what Mum said about me, as she knows Mum is crazy and that she 'doesn't mean' what she says, that she is insane, he used the chinese word 'insane/bad shit loony crazy - deen' and see, you went and told her and then they had that fight. Implying it was Olivia's fault that the fight escalated so. Olivia told him she doesn't care if Mum is crazy, she needs to learn not to say things like that because there are consequences.
She cried when she got out of the car.

I was shocked to hear this because I was under the impression Dad actually stood up for me as he told Mum to 'check her room before you say things like that' - although that resulted in her looking at my bits and telling Dad to come and look because I was "naked and will catch my death of cold." Of course saying it to mean I was obscenely naked (under the covers, in my room, with my door closed) and that Dad should look and see how bad I am being all naked and prostitutie. Thankfully Dad said no he wouldn't come look and just to cover me up.
Anyway, so I was thinking okay, Dad was sensible that time, but then Olivia tells me that story and it's like what the fuck?
Of course I shouldn't be too surprised because he DID kick me when I was down (literally) that time I answered back and pointed out that I couldn't be at fault for not receiving information that I didn't know existed because he hadn't told me but told my sister who didn't relay it to me but somehow it was MY fault that I didn't get the message and because I refused to be at fault for it he kicked down my door and dragged me downstairs and threw me and kicked me. I kicked back to avoid being injured (badly).

Anyway, family reunions just bring back stick-in-my-throat memories. I completely hate them.

Material Girl

2009-01-08T22:47:00.004+11:00

We're all getting to THAT age huh? The age where every week you're hearing about yet another engagement. Not that it bores me. Well, other people's engagements that is. My own is old news now. probably due to the fact that we'd always known we'd be married one day, so it was more a matter of when than a matter of if.
There was never an if! It's comfortable and secure and that's how I like it. None of that tempestuous stormy will they won't they for us!

So I've been shopping a bit lately, but not buying anything, as I'm waiting for the items to go down to $30 - I know this is a bit of an impossibility but if they do, I score, if they don't and just disappear, than I haven't wasted any money, I will just have the rest of my life to regret not buying the thing.
Some things I have my eye on:

A Seduce knee length fitted deep sea green satin skirt. It has been reduced half price down to $80 but it doesn't fit very well... not tight enough to give it that sexy secretary look, it just looks comfy. It has this cool folding in the material that Porky said reminded her of a cockroach, but reminds me more of an armadillo. If I find it in a size 6, will try it on to see if I can get that sexy secretary fit. If it gives me muffin top, than it's a no go.

A black patent bag from Witchery (?) reduced again to half price, now $124.95. It is big enough to fit a toy pom, but not as big as my current giant bag. I never go for black or patent, but this bag won me over as it has a big black diamante spider on the front, and I'm a sucker for animal paraphernalia.

A pretty $80 full price summer dress, elastic waist, sheer material but with inbuilt slip, a pretty dusty violet colour with lots of flowery patterns in assorted dusty colours, flowing excess material just below the knee so you can spin around, and I love it! Except I forgot what brand it was and there was just the one on this rack of other by themselves clothes at General Pants. Will probably be gone by the time I go back.

A sexy, sophisticated satin boob tube dress by Pilgrim, deep violet, thick material so no underwear bumps or spray on skin look, emphasises waist then puffs out slightly at the bottom to give you a great shape and the bottom has this wonderful pattern where they've layered snips of fabric - oh I don't know how to explain it - $229.95 full price. It's short, above the knee, but because the style doesn't show off any boob and is quite conservative other than the length, it's perfect for a fancy shindig, like a wedding or an engagement or um... er.. a fancy shindig..

Anyway, I am also on the lookout for floor length skirts to wear in the hot weather. I love them but only have one. They are great for people with hairy legs.

Oh, and one more thing, I am after a Kate Sylvester swimsuit, 50's style I think it is, one piece, complete with frilly dress to modest-fy your butt area. I think it will be perfect for me! Well it better be as they are $200something each, and I'm counting on the bust area - a modest boobtube with straps rather than plunging style, to hold chicken fillets. And then I shall swim! Yay!

Ali has ordered me a hair crimper - actually it is called a three barrel curler, and it gives me mermaid hair! His sister has one so I used it one night and I slept on it and it was still good the next day! Ali thought I looked Korean with it the day after as It has gone a softer perm wave and I had it up. I had to put it down again after a while because my head was aching from having it up. My hair does not like being up.

Ali also got me a Hello Kitty game for my DS and it's not very fun. Maybe because it's aimed at 7 year olds or something.
I've been getting into Virginia Andrews again - that lady sure loves to write about incest. I don't know why that fascinates me, but maybe it's like that time when I was oohing and aahing over the cute little poms in the pet shop window and one started pooing and it was like, ew, then the other ran up to the first one and started eating the poo. And when the first one finished pooing it turned around and started eating the poo too and they were gobbling it down like it was a big brown chocolate mousse instead of a big brown steaming hot fresh mushy dog turd and Ali was trying to pull me away but ended up walking off whilst I stood there transfixed, glued to the window and watched them eat it up - gobble, being the perfect word for how they ate. And then after they were done and licked their cute little fluffy faces clean everyone around me who were also watching kind of gave each other silent looks of confused disgust and drifted off all unsettled. What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, incest. Yeah, don't do it, kids. And don't eat your own poo or let your friend eat it either.

Fancy Pants

2008-12-29T22:12:00.003+11:00

It's funny how I always end up eating off food when I'm home because Ali is at work (meaning he can't feed me). Tonight I had off dijonnaise. It was tasty. Few months old tasty.

It's coming towards the end of the year and I've been reflective of late, of the year gone, year to come, friends, the reshuffling of views or rather, the adding on to views which may result in their reshuffling. I have to say I'm always a bit glum when I'm reflecting, or else I'm always a bit fanciful. Glum or fanciful but never at the same time. Unless you like to dream up morose happenings. Hm, actually I do rather like playing the hypothetical game with Ali:

Me: "Ali?"
Ali: "Yes?"
Me: "What would you do if you had to choose between me or the baby - I'm going to die if I give birth to it, or you could save me but the baby would die. Who would you save?"

"You have to marry one of my friends - I'll name five for you to choose from - who would you marry and why, and why not?"

"Say you met the girl of your dreams, she was totally hot and perfect for you and way better than me, and you fall in love with her - what would you do? Would you break up with me to be with your perfect girl or stay with me because you shouldn't be cheating in the first place?"

"If you had the opportunity to cheat and I would never find out, and this girl is totally hot to trot and completely into you, would you cheat? Remember, I'd never ever ever find out."

"Okay, what if you had already cheated, and it was just a one night stand sort of thing, and I would never ever find out - would you tell me and obviously I'd break up with you, possibly punch you in the face, and never speak to you ever again, or would you not tell me and live with the guilt but I'd be with you and we get married etc?"

"What if you had to kill one of your cats - Angel or Snoop, you just have to, it's one or the other, which one would you choose to die and why?"

Ali: *Sigh*

Of course whatever he answers would lead onto more questions because there'd be a continuing worst case scenario and he'll eventually throw his hands in the air and laugh in exasperation and tell me I'm ridiculous because "THESE THINGS WILL NEVER HAPPEN! I'M NOT MARRYING TIFF AND I'M NEVER GOING TO HAVE TO KILL ONE OF MY CATS!"

It's always fun, and the more the scenario involves death or an ultimatum of some sort, the better. Perverse really. I guess I AM glum and fanciful all at the same time. But not always.

Half hearted attempt to blog again.

2008-12-13T21:05:00.003+11:00

Day Two of being home:

I've had two minute noodles for dinner two nights in a row now and I'm feeling the MSG gurgling in my belly. Or that could be the macaroni and cheese that was purchased back when Fiona was down and they were to be emergency foods for our Hunter Valley weekend away. Not that there is anything wrong with some microwaveable mac and cheese, except for that fact that it was off by over a month but I figured my stomach was strong enough. I was wrong. Am wrong. Am gurgling tummy wrong.
I am going to stock up at the bbq I'm going to tomorrow and then Ali is going to see me after work finishes so I will be guaranteed more food so that I can try and last out the next home alone week as a fat, sleek, happy seal. Mmm, seals...
My dad asked me today if I boiled that pot of cabbage that is just sitting on the stove. I said no, obviously it's mums.

I guess it is time for a massive, yet brief, update on things that have been happening since... well since I stopped blogging.

1) I went to Japan with Ali and it was grand. We subsequently got engaged there and I am now carrying a lot of money in the shape of a useless lump of hard substance on my finger which I occasionally flash at ravens that I walk past. No, really, I flash them. In Japan, the crow stared at me then flew off in a huff, whilst at Yagoona train station the raven eyed my ring with interest (I'm positive) but kept his distance. That is respect. I kind of wish one would make a swoop for it just so I can say I fought off a giant black bird with glittery eyes and deadly beak who wanted nothing more than to adorn his house with my ring. That would be really cool because if there was a struggle it could only add to my ring's battle scars, which I can report took a beating in Japan from all the luggage lugging.
I'll post up some pictures of Japan when Ali burns them onto DVDs. Hopefully he does so soon as his computer is crashing a lot lately.

2) I got engaged. Just in case you missed it in point number one. We had an engagement dinner (for me it was obligatory, not for pleasure) in classy Smithfield, at an Italian restaurant opposite a kebab shop. Actually, the restaurant is really nice despite its dubious location and both sets of parents (that was the complete group - the 6 of us) enjoyed themselves as it was something different to what they were accustomed to. They got along and lasted over 2 hours so can't complain.
Perhaps if I actually got along with my parents or cared for the whole parent meeting thing I would've enjoyed myself a bit more, but as it stands, I definitely didn't organise this for the fun of it.
I know everyone wanted us to have an engagement party of some sort but we haven't bothered, although we've caught up with a few friends. The only thing I can think of when I imagine planning a party is if we can hire animals. It's all about the animals for me.

3) Ali and I went to New Zealand on a spontaneous 'Sydney sucks' one week trip, and it was... relaxing I guess. Because we compared it to Japan I guess it was a let down when things weren't as exotic, although we managed to try something uniquely kiwi every day that we were there.
Again, once Ali burns - hold on, they're all on my camera this time. Er... when I can be bothered to put them onto my computer I'll post some. Yes... this will be soon...

4) Hm, I can only think of 3 significant things that happened to me to post about. So I'll have to really think about this point number 4. How about Nhu, Porky and I getting together and making a lamb roast for our boyfriends/fiance? Yeah that's pretty amazing as we've never collectively done something like that, and we even topped it with a pecan caramel tart thing that totally didn't work. The cream and caramel reacted with the very hot pastry and it all melted into this big oozy mess. This meant the pastry was holding it all together but once I tried to slice it up into pieces, it just collasped and it was more a spooning of mush onto plate than a slice of tart. It turned into my impromptu engagement cake from the girls even though I mostly made it, haha, love those girls.

5) Okay point number 4 wasn't completely about me and neither is this point.
Ron left Australia to go back to Indonesia forever. The reason for leaving was heartbreaking but we promised to stay in touch via snail mail (and internet of course), so far we have failed miserably in the snail mail part of the deal but we'll get there. I'll miss him terribly but he has promised to come down for the wedding so that's an incentive to get organsing. Oh god, that's going to be a headache.

6) Okay this point has nothing really to do with me: Ali's younger sister had a baby a few days after Ali's birthday, his name is Zakaria and he is adorable. And after she had her baby, his older brother announced that he and his wife were expecting! So Ali's mum is absolutely stoked as she loves babies.

7) Okay this one is about me: I haven't cut my hair in a while, a very long while so it's growing rather long. Inspired by portraits of Maori women in a New Zealand art gallery who had hair down to her knees, I might attempt growing my hair again. I want to see how long it will grow before it stops. It's been down past my bum before so I have some long hair to beat. I doubt I will keep with this though as it will probably start looking scraggly by the time it nears my butt.

8) I came home to my doona (is that the name for the thing with duck down inside?) having a tear in it somewhere. I only figured this out when my spotless room suddenly had balls of 'dust' flying around near the foot of my bed and upon closer inspection the 'dust' balls turned out to look like wishing stars, completely fluffy and flyaway. After unsuccessfully chasing them down - with them leisurely floating away from me I sat on my bed with a huff only to find a billion of them suddenly poof out from under my bum. That's when I realised them came from my doona. Dammit all those wishes unrealised. Ali offered to buy me a new one but I figured I won't be there forever so not to waste the money.

Hey! My stomach ache has gone! Yessss, I guess my stomach acids have dealt with the off macaroni and cheese.

Okay I'm giving up on my blogging attempt. Otherwise my points are going to become even more mundane. And I can't be bothered to find pictures to correspond with the points that aren't about NZ or Japan so I'll do so next time. Maybe.

S'less?

2008-04-15T18:15:00.005+10:00

Last night I was sitting in my bed, warming myself with the electric blanket Ali got me when I was hit by a craving.
Well actually, I wasn't really 'hit' by it all of a sudden, more like I decided to cave in to my craving.
So I pulled out the S'mores ingredients that date back to when Fiona was here and got down to business.
I remember Mars making it for us at Nhu's so I knew what to do (not that there is really that much to it), and my hands were starting to shake (when I get cravings and go too long without satisfying them, I literally shake like a junkie), and the only thing stopping me was the lack of a plate. I didn't want to go downstairs to get one because the parents were there, so I made do with an empty easter egg box. Mmm Guylian chocolates...

Anyway, I 'assemble' the Krafts air puffed marshmallow on top the honey oat graham crackers that I've eighth-ed and also the Hershey's chocolate, then realise I'm missing a freakin' skewer. I can't exactly use my flame torch on a marshmallow that I'm holding with my fingers because I'll burn my skin, but I still won't go downstairs so I decided I can roast it whilst it is on a cracker.

I had read the instructions on how to operate the stupid flame torch (used for creme brulees and the like) and it was all a bit complicated for me (being technologically challenged in an extreme way), but for my craving, I was willing to try and overcome that.
I'm really freaked out by warnings that say 'don't poke or else this will explode' etc so I was being really light fingered with the thing.

I manage to turn the thing on, but... nothing. No flame. I reread the instructions, try again, no flame. I'm getting jittery because my craving was now a NEED, so I decide perhaps I need to refill the thing with gas? So again, I follow the instructions but I think I put the nozzle thing in the wrong hole - well what I thought was the hole was just an indent?! so all that did was spray my fingers with gas and because I was holding it close to my face I got sprayed as well.
Okay so that didn't work, then I try for the other hole, which just looked like a screw??
I'm not even sure if it worked but I didn't see any gas in the air and for some reason, after two 'pumps' there were no more noises so I figured it was full.

I was getting really dizzy at that point and reread the instructions for the 10th time, and then read the stupid gas can which said inhalation can lead to extreme death (maybe I made the 'extreme' bit up) so you know, I was having these s'mores if it was the last thing I did last night, but what do you know, the flame still doesn't work.
I don't know what went wrong, so I try the refilling thing again, no luck, try lighting the flame again, nope, nothing.

I was dizzy from the gas, shaky from the craving, and had the raw s'mores ingredients assembled before me. So I had to just eat the s'mores as is with no toasting.
Damn you flame torch! damn you gas! Damn you overdue crackers!
Yes, whilst I ate my raw s'mores, I read all the info on the packets (I have a terrible must-read-everything habit) and realised the stupid crackers had expired a month ago.
I figured that would be about right, considering the marshmallows were also looking worse for wear, being all glued together and stuck to the insides of the packet... Mars did bring them all the way from America... quite a few months ago.

Anyway, raw s'mores taste like cooked s'mores without the cooked bit, overdue crackers have not done anything to me so far, the Hershey's chocolate tastes alright when masked by all those other flavours, but alone, tastes literally, like vomit.
I know this because I ripped open a bar when I had a chocolate craving last week and ate half of it to satisfy my craving but at the same time wanting to vomit because it tasted soooo foul.
Man, that stuff is so gross.

So I thought about it today and felt sorry for myself; that sad person, sitting under her blankets, eating raw, expired s'mores, a bit high from butane gas. And here is a thought that crossed my mind last night: 'I need Ali!'
To make my flame torch work!
And that is of course timely as tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary of dating, so what better time to know you need someone in your life, than when you're eating vomit chocolate. <3

I need this person for flame torch purposes.

Plumcots

2008-01-28T02:29:00.000+11:00

Yoohoo!
A quick post for the insomniac in me:
I am leaving!!!!
To go to Barrington Tops for 6 days!
I will be back on Sunday, and have not yet told the parents... it is almost 3am. Oopsie.

So an extremely quick update - Fiona came and left, after extending her trip another 3 weeks, I cried, as I am apt to do, when she left, and we have 29.9gb of photos. I have yet to collect any photos from other people's cameras, oh dear.

Today Ali and I went to Balmain - La Sangria, for some luverly spanish food. I am not usually a fan of paella or tapas but this place really takes it up a notch. We were accompanied by the ever sunny Sally, and we had a great time.
Afterwards, we went to a fruit shop and Sally bought some figs and plumcots (three magic beans to whoever can guess what they are) which we all ate. They were delicious! Sally is an avid fig fan, and plumcots have found an adoring fan in me.
I am particularly enamoured by their plush furry pelt... oooh...

Oh quick rundown, we had: chicken and seafood paella - the rice had bite but was also so juicy and steamy, with the seafood bouncing and not overdone. Two tapas, one was rabbit, the other was stuffed calamari. Rabbit was devine, the sauce was rich but not thick, and the calamari were not ringed, they were like little squids filled with mince and pinenuts and herbs, with a thick tromato based sauce, succulent.
Dessert was churros with hot spanish chocolate. Churros were sprinkled with sugar, hard outer shell to crunch on, revealing a rich sweet but not too sweet ample inside and the chocolate was drippy and real tasting. By real I mean, not too sweet, so that balanced with the churros.

Am fo' sho' going back there to have more paella and more tapas! Oh, and we had 'wild cranberry' juice and I really love how the colour looks against a sunny sky with all those clinking icecubes... today was so lovely!! Perhaps a tad on the hot side, but I'd rather this than rain, anyday!

Short update is now over as I have yet to make a dent in my 'To Pack' list, made more complicated by the fact that this place has no kitchen, only 'tea and coffee making facilities' so Ali and I have to pack pots and pans and gas stoves and chopsticks and plates and so on as I don't think I want to be eating out in the sticks for breakfast, lunch and dinner 6 days straight.

Tooroo!

Kat and Fiona, chipper at the airport.

Kat and Sally with their respective figs.

Weekend away, random dogs and eyebrows.

2007-12-21T00:01:00.000+11:00

Hello lovebirds!

Have not blogged in a while, am such a slacko, and have not really got much of an excuse.
Quick post to say: I'm excited because we've just very last minute booked a place in Hunter Valley to stay for the weekend! Does Friday night count as a weekend night? Well we will be staying Friday and Saturday night. I have not been away since Mai's Brisbane wedding! That was a while back!
I love the name of the place - Lovedale... aww.
Actually it's called Vineyard Hill, but it is at Lovedale.
No farm animals, or alpacas which featured at other places we looked at, but this place promises cheese, olives and chocolate - three of my favourite foods! So I guess that makes it okay.

On a side note, was looking through my folder (filled with photos), and came across some photos of me with a random dog. Anyway, on that particular day, Ron was using me as a model for his photography class, and I did my own make up (au natural look) but then his classmate who was an ex makeup artist decided to touch up a bit, on my lips and eyebrows.
I don't mind the lips so much, as I never wear lippy, so she was just au naturaling my too au natural lips, HOWEVER, what is with people always filling in my eyebrows?!
Okay, so they are a little on the patchy light side, and I don't think there is much harm in filling out the patchy bits, but colouring in my eyebrows to make them darker is always lost on me.
I don't think it improves my appearance, in fact, I think it makes me look more drag queen or ladyboy than ooh, au natural.
Anyway, it is supposed to look better in photos, even though in real life I look like I really need to shear off a couple of inches.

Here is me and the random dog after leaving the shoot.

Those are not my real eyebrows.

P.S When the sunlight hit my faux brows, they were a strange shade of bright flamin' red. Which I only figured out when I had gotten all the way back to Ali's place on different modes of public transport. Noice.

Bleat

2007-11-14T02:39:00.000+11:00

Tattered ears, clumpy fur, pus-ey eyes, missing limbs, protruding bones, open sores..
I pet mangy cats because they need love too.

And because they love me back.

Highlights and lowlights of my week thus far

2007-10-17T23:21:00.000+10:00

Highlight in direct relation to Lowlight

Highlight
1. Knowing what a 'Booby' was on The Chasers - 'duh it's a bird, sheesh, they'd never catch me floundering on that one.'

Lowlight
1. Never knowing an answer to any of the questions on preceding music trivia tv show Spicks and Specks.

~~~

Highlight
2. Having my picture taken with The Cat In A Hat.

Lowlight
2. Looking like a two toothed hippie junkie hippo in the photo, meaning I can never show anyone.

~~~

Highlight
3. Having Pugsley the girl Echidna burrow into my shoelace holes so hard it hurt.

Lowlight
3. Getting so excited I pressed the record button twice (start, then stop) and effectively only have 3 seconds of footage of Pugsley instead of the 5 minutes I was 'filming'.

~~~

Highlight
4. Finding a black hair growing out of the side of my face and plucking it out with tweezers.

Lowlight
4. I have to wait for it to grow back now/I have a black hair growing out of the side of my face.

~~~

Highlight
5. Really being able to taste the butter on my breadroll even though I am devoid of tastebuds right now due to being sick.

Lowlight
5. Alarming amount of butter on my breadroll proving to be nauseating by the last few bites, even through the protection of not being able to taste very well (because I'm sick).

~~~

Highlight
6. Downing 15ml of Pei Pa Koa (Pei Pa Go) a few times a day because I'm sick, relishing the sweet stickiness of it and singing "A Spoon Full of Sugar' in my head each time.

Lowlight
6. Only being able to have 15ml each time, with a max of 75ml in a day... I could live on the stuff. Plus, the lid is really really painful to unscrew.

~~~

Highlight
7. Getting a call from Ali half an hour after he dropped me off home to tell me he has sent me an email:

Hello Baby,
I have two interesting pictures for you! I pumped up my bike tyres just after dropping you off tonight, and then took my bike out for a ten second ride to check the pressures. I came across these strange animals which i believe are living just across the road. I sort of accidentally, unwittingly crept up on them and they made a mad dash to get away- complete with loud banging noises. I was sure i had just seen what i thought i had, so i went home and grabbed my camera. Now, the pictures are not the best, but i'm sure you can figure out just what i saw!

Yours in adventure,
Aloosh.

(I cropped the pictures so you wouldn't have to search for them in the dark)

Lowlight
7. Not being able to guess what they are for certain! I am ashamed!! I think they are sheep?! Or deer (impossible)?! Or foxes with no tails?!

Did you get attacked by a swarm of bees? No I just had a cold water shower...

2007-08-17T15:52:00.000+10:00

I had the worst shower in all my 24 years of life, today.

For those who are not aware, our hot water tank thingo is broken, and so we have been without hot water for the past few days.
I've been making do with quickie washes in the bathtub with that spraying water thing that you hold and attach to the tap - you know that thing?
Anyway, so today I decided that I'd have to brave the cold water as I hadn't washed my hair in two days and I was feeling really disgusting. I went to bed giving myself a pep talk on how it would be okay, just get in and get out, try not to think about it, pretend you're going swimming.
So then I woke up today and renewed my pep talk and also told myself that maybe the water was fixed now and I wouldn't have to shower in the cold. No such luck.
In fact it was even worse. Yesterday the water managed to have a tint of warmness in it, and I was kind of hoping it meant an increase today, but no, the water was actually even colder than before.
So I turned on the hot water tap full blast, in the vain hope that whilst I have my freezing cold shower, the hot water might kick in and scald me and I'd be all 'Praise the Lord!', but no it didn't happen.
In fact, the water seemed to get colder and colder, or maybe my blood was just slowly freezing in my veins.

As I was trying to wash myself as fast as possible, telling myself "It's just like swimming, it's just like swimming" and alternating between doing deep breathing like they tell pregnant ladies to do (I don't know why but in my cold delirium I figured this would help relieve the cold), I couldn't help thinking how this is nothing like swimming, people are moving when they go swimming, not standing still and shampooing hair, and I don't even go swimming purely because I so hate the cold, and I'm bullshitting myself big time, if only I could just get through this, breathe in, breathe out wooosh -

My head was throbbing, and my ears were stinging as I washed the shampoo out of my hair. When I was lathering body wash with my shower puff onto my body, it felt like it was scraping off skin, and when I went to clean my nether regions, they actually went numb, so I couldn't actually feel what I was doing. I managed to shave my underarms and the bottom half of the front of my right leg before I just couldn't take it anymore.
The worst had to be the whole wetting of the hair initially to apply shampoo, the rinsing of the shampoo, then the rinsing of the conditioner. Painful, painful, painful...

Actually I lie, that was not the worst at all. The worst was after getting out of the shower where normally, is the time you start shivering, I felt like I had a heater in the room, the air felt really warm compared with my icy shower, and as I was drying myself, I felt my face itch a bit. I was a bit relieved as that meant the feeling was returning to at least one part of my body, as everything else was still throbbing, stinging or numb. Except when I glanced over at the mirror, through the blind haze (I was not wearing my glasses), I saw that my face was flaming red!

I put my hands on my face to discover weird lumps... I panicked a bit because my fingers were pretty frozen still so I couldn't really feel anything properly, so I quickly put on my glasses and looked in the mirror, to find, to my horror, that my face was covered in weird misshapen lumps, and the parts of my face that were not lumpy, was bright red and splotchy!

My face started itching more, and looking closely at my face, I came up with a few conclusions:
1. I am having some kind of delayed allergic reaction to something I had eaten - having not eaten since I woke up, I am thinking it is a very delayed reaction.
2. The water is dirty, because the hot water is not working, meaning the cold water that I splashed on my face was not 'boiled' and so the germs in the water were not boiled away, and my sensitive face skin is having an allergic reaction to it.
3. The water is so cold that I gave myself frost bite and am going to die.

I went with option number 3. I discovered some more weird lumps on various parts of my body, and stood there comparing the shocking difference between my smooth yellow neck and my red, angry, blotchy welt covered face. I made sure to wash my face again with 'tap water' just in case it was different to 'shower water', in the hope that my face would deflate.
The bumps were akin to mosquito bites, only bigger, and as though the mosquito had bitten the same area a few times to create giant swollen lumps. It also looked like blood vessels under my skin had randomly burst to create the grotesque red blotches.
I couldn't do anything about it other than try not to scratch.

Then right when I came out of the shower and hopped into bed with the electric blanket on to try and un-congeal my blood, my Dad yelled up the stairs "Catherine! The hot water does not work!" Like, duh.
So I yelled back down the stairs, "I know! I just had a shower!"
Dad then yells back "Yeah don't have a shower! It's only cold water!"
I yell again "I already had a shower and I broke out in red welts from the cold!"
I had by then gotten out of bed to stand at the top of the stairs and point out the welts on my face. He looked at me for a second then asked why I had a shower if I knew the hot water wasn't working. I told him because I had to wash my hair. He then asked why I didn't 'test' the water first.
As though I had been so slow as to get in the freezing numbing water, wash my hair, come out in welts and then my slow reaction catches up with me and I say to myself, dang, if only I had 'tested' the water before showering, I could have avoided having to wash my hair in the cold.

Anyway, I have vowed never to shower ever again until this is fixed. I refuse to die by cold water welts.

I lost my cushions!

2007-07-31T23:39:00.000+10:00

Good evening gentle readers, I have startling news to share. It may not only be NOT startling to you and obviously also not to me as I knew of this news before posting, it may also be of total and utter UNinterest to you. Yes yes, I know that is not a word. But this is my blog, and I will post what I consider exciting news, if only to me.

So I have lost my famous tooshy.

Mhm, many of you may not be aware, but I was known amongst those of you who were aware, of my famously peachy beehive, I mean, behind. Yes, of all the things I don't like about my body, and I assure you, there are about a gazillion, I was ok about my badongadongdong.
Yeah, I used to be able to look myself in the browneye and give myself a pat on the rear and say "You're ohhh-kay."

Not anymore.

Since my sudden and rapid weight loss due to my feverish (think The Exorcist but not that scary - eep! I'm scaring myself now) bout of influenza over 3 weeks ago, that saw my weight plummet from 51kg down to 46kg in 3 days then stay there, I have not been able to fit nicely into any of my clothes and have resorted to being more depressed than usual.

This is the most dramatic weight loss I've had in, well, ever, as I usually stay the same weight, and any weight lost during sickness is quickly put back on when well again.
And as I was bordering on oops, too light for my height when I was at my usual weight, I am now in the very underweight zone which, frankly, wouldn't bother me, as I FEEL healthy, however, for vanity reasons, this is rather concerning as I look like any other Asian on the streets. SHAPELESS!

All my pants that were tight fitting are now loose and baggy, even after wearing stockings and big undies underneath for extra padding.

My jeans all look like I'm going for the skater punk emo plumber's crack look because that's how saggy they are in the bum, and I can take them off without undoing both buttons and zippers.
I know, because when I told Ali this, he tried and succeeded in wrenching my EX skinny leg tight jeans halfway down my bum before I convinced him that his Mum could walk in any minute and this would not look good, not good at all. Don't worry, I covered my modesty by hanging on to the front of the jeans like my life depended on it, but my scrawny bum was half exposed. I would like to point out that this exercise was not in any way kinky or sexual, it was merely Ali wanting to know if my claim was true. Which is was.

I fit into things I haven't fit into for years, into my supertube jeans that I bought on a whim (they were reduced to $50, they were called 'gooseberries', and Nim was all like yeah totally you can pull off that colour), and into things that I've never been able to fit into.
The worst of it, is these things are ALSO loose and baggy on me, albeit not as loose and baggy as my normal sized clothing.
The gooseberries I had only worn out once because they took me ages to squeeze into, squished my bum flat, I could hardly get them over my legs let alone my bum, if I bent my knees, used to stop all blood from circulating and numb my legs, and made me feel claustrophobic. Now they hang in the bum, because my bum has shrunk so flat that it now fits with room for farts, and even the legs are roomy.

I have taken to planning my outfits very carefully if ever an outing that may involve photos is called for, thankfully there have only been two so far. My first outfit was a full skirt, that hid my disappearing butt and hips, and emphasised on my waist. My second, I could not get away with as it was a themed B'day party, so I wore short shorts that I hadn't worn in over 2 years as they gave me a front wedgie and were too small, however were now comfy and roomy, and a detailed top that hopefully detracted from my butt. I also wore a singlet top and tucked it into my shorts along with big undies to help fill out my bottom half. I was also hoping all that leg would also detract from any need for a butt. And I took care to only be photographed front on.
Actually, I've never been photographed 'butt on' so disregard that last point.

I have been eating a lot lately, but it seems I cannot put the weight back on, and any slight form of exercise that I do (and believe me they are slight and unintended and in fact, I go out of my way to never exercise), results in some more weight loss.
What is wrong with me?!

My most feared vanity reason for not putting the weight back one would be: No more bum shape = no more curves = Catherine looks like a typical Asian - flat everywhere! Nooooooo!

Oh by the way, Geeks vs Sleeks was the theme of the B'day party, and some people really got into it.

I can't be bothered to upload all photos, I am currently considering all this new-fangle myspace/facebook stuff because I kept getting asked if I had facebook at the party, and may then upload to that?

I will leave you with this picture:

Ali, Richard, Nhu - geeks alert!

Hiatus - Be Gone!

2007-07-07T21:13:00.000+10:00

I've just had a week off work because I've been sick. Yes, I have been so ill, the doctor let me have the rest of the week off as well (when I saw him on Wednesday). So I've been sleeping, and losing weight and frankly, except for the gasping for air and waking up drenched in sweat and feeling delirious from fever and ripping all the skin off my nose from blowing it and wanting to die in general - man, this is the life.

Yeah, Ali was astounded by my 'sleep for 21 hours' of the day routine when he visited me to give me cold and flu tablets. And that was a good day as I factored in 'watching tv time', I wasn't showering on the bad days so that cut my awake times further - yeah, pretty impressive huh? What? Oh yeah, I know, pretty grotty.

So life is evidently pretty boring for me if I think sleeping for 21+ hours of the day is 'the life', so I'm thinking about a change, a new direction.

That's right folks. I'm having myself a baby.

Don't think I haven't thought this through, because I have, I've even planned what I want in the baby. It must be blonde. It must be blue eyed. And it must be beautiful. Anything else is just a plus.
Oh alright, maybe I should base this on something more than just the physical. Hm...
Okay, it must be musically gifted.
And have long legs, like a gazelle.
And be a girl.

Anyway so that's the plan, and hopefully I can get one by the end of the year so I can start growing it and stuff and can start signing it up to modelling agencies so I can sit back and watch the thing earn me some moolah, which I can then put into... dm dm dm... my dream restaurant:

The 2 Minute Microwave.

Hey wow, I just thought of that whilst I typed it, pretty nifty huh? I bet if you saw a restaurant named The 2 Minute Microwave, you'd want to go on in and have a gander and maybe a nibble?

Yeah well Ali actually thought my idea was shithouse, but what would he know? He is obviously not my target market *draws an invisible square shape in the air with index fingers and looks snooty*.

So this is my fantastic idea - and don't you go stealing it coz I know you want to - in the form of a seducing verbal advertisement:

Are YOU a young, hard working professional with not enough time on your hands, a grumbling stomach, and catch up on sleep during your ridiculous commuting times?
Are YOU too busy making money to spend time on your grooming or eating habits and the thought of washing the dishes sends you scrabbling for a pen to write a suicide note and you dream of calculators?
Are YOU tired of going home to your mother's home cooked meals and want something cheap and nasty delivered with a 'ding' but without the nasty or the nagging?
Are YOU - wait, there can only be three.

Well if this is YOU, then this is YOUR lucky day!

Okay, so now that I have sucked you in with my fantastic ad (I hope you read it in a 'radio man with a severe side part' voice), I will explain what my magical restaurant provides.

So you know how it is, you go home to your dark little granny flat, kick away the old beer cans and old pizza box to make room for your fat ass on the couch, flick on the tv and reach for the bag of stale chips. Stomach grumbles but the fridge is too far away and you're just about ready to nod off. No one left you any cold, glad wrapped dinner scraps, and then you remember, you live by yourself because in a rage of 'independance', you moved out of your parent's house and got lumped with paying the rent and doing your own washing.
Now this is where it becomes like those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books, because you either swear and say stuff it and go to bed hungry and exhausted, or you force yourself to look through the freezer and locate some frozen tv dinner to nuke, fumble with the instructions and all the fiddling connecting sections, doze whilst it's heating, burn yourself as you take it out and roast all your tastebuds when you take your first bite, then when you're done, leave it on the counter and go to bed exhausted. Either way, it's pretty dismal.
So these would've been your only choices until - ENTER 'THE 2 MINUTE MICROWAVE!'

Imagine, instead of going home and curling up in bed every night, and crying and sucking your thumb to sleep, you first make a detour to my fantastic restaurant, where you - get this, it's so exciting:

Sit down, order from our extensive list of comforting/you've had it before/you know how it's going to taste and look meals, the meal then comes out in like 2 minutes or however long is specified (uh huh, bet no restaurant has ever specified how long their food takes to come out mhm), then you eat it and it's exactly how you wanted it - no fuss and in 15 minutes you're out of there, on your way home, full, satisfied, ready for bed.

How can this happen you ask? HOW?! CAN?! THIS?! HAPPEN?! CHICKEN?!
Well the secret is, my lovelies, my fantastic restaurant will only be serving microwavable freezer foods. Yeah I know! Ingenius huh?!
Of course it will expand to include freezer oven foods and stuff, but you know, we have to start somewhere, and microwaves have always been my thang, I mean, I just love how you can put a complete meal in there, hard as an ice brick (man I'm on fire with my awesome new object names - and 'on fire' gosh, I'm just so cool), and it comes out, ready to be eaten, with everything perfectly cooked, more or less! I think it's just amazing!

Anyway, so instead of having to do it yourself when you just want a quick no fuss meal, and then having to clean up afterwards - yes you know what? There IS washing up involved because a lot of the meals don't come with cutlery do they? Huh? No they don't! So yes, don't think you can outfox me - I've thought of every pro/con to this idea alright. Where was I? Oh yeah, so instead of having to do that, you can jut sit and relax and we do it for you.
And you know what? On every table there will be a tray of condiments - so you'll have your Tabasco, and your Italian Herbs sprinkler, salt and pepper, mayo, mustard, tin of sardines - you know, whatever, so you can add to your microwaved meal as you would at home.
Well I don't know about you guys, but that's what I do, and I leeerve it.

So like, for example, you could order a microwaveable cheeseburger, a leancuisine meal, mi goreng (yes I will also do stovetop gourmet style (by adding an egg) 2 minute noodles, the possibilities are endless! And I will even wash your cutlery after you're done with it! That, or I will supply you with plastic cutlery so I don't have to! Yeah! Power to the plastic!

I mean, what is there not to love? You know what the stuff is going to taste like/look like, it doesn't take long, sometimes that's all you want to sit down to (I know I do), not some full fancy shmancy meal, and you know it's only going to set you back a few bucks, or 45cents (mi goreng).

Am I losing you here? Because I'm sensing I'm losing some of you. It was about this point (who am I kidding, it was a few points back) that I lost Ali, who slammed it as a stupid idea because he said I was the only one who had an insane liking of frozen processed food and that no one would want to go to my dumb restaurant for microwaved meals. Why hurt me like that, brother? Why?

Firstly, how can you NOT like processed food? It is like, only the best thing ever invented/vacuum sealed.
And yes, I do in fact adore anything that is pre-packaged, had all the air and moisture sucked out of it so it looks like what I would imagine lifeless old people to look like if they were turned into food, vege/sauce/meat/bread all put in at the same time, for the same time and coming out perfect... oh my gosh I am salivating.

There is something magical about the way, that the scientists - yes I said it, scientists, with their bubbling test tubes and white lab coats managed to make sure all the things cooked just right, and managed to get everything tasting so damn tasty.
Okay, some may beg to differ on the taste bit, but come on, microwaved meals have their own unique taste that I just can't get enough off, and it's so addictive.

I personally trawl the supermarket frozen food aisle and pretty much paste my nose to the glass and devour the labels - Tasmanian salmon with crisp veges pasta with carbonara sauce - now with new steam containers, beef lasagne 99% fat free healthy choice, new improved microwaveable cheeseburger with real beef patty, and Ali usually pulls me away to look at hair ties.

I personally love the cheeseburgers because you don't even need to use a plate - the instructions tell you to heat the burger upside down on the actual carton for 2 minutes, then the right way up, for another 2 minutes and you're good to go. I mean, how cool is that?! The carton! It not only initially holds the burger, it also doubles as the heating platform AND you can then just use it as a 'plate' as well! I love it! Who would have thought?! That means, zero washing up! And the cheese is orange! Love it!
Oh and they really have improved because the beef patty has gotten so tender and juicy, it pretty much oozes juices and you can hear your teeth chomp through it, it tastes so good. A long way from way back when I was young and limber and it tasted like hard cardboard but you know what? I still loved it. I just love my microwaveable food. If you can bung it in and ding it, I want to eat it. Again, and again.

So I guess in conclusion to the above, spare a thought for the scientists who invented the stuff and go buy yourself a frozen dinner today, and be amazed at the compartments, the colours, the tastes and the low costs and low clean up, and then come back and see if you can look me in the eye and tell me my restaurant idea is dumb!

In other nooooos:

This is my seester and my boyfriend. They are BMX banditos.

Pom Pom, Pom Pom Pommm

2007-04-08T15:58:00.000+10:00

Last Saturday, Ali, Nhu, Richard and I went to Aperitif, which is a French, Spanish restaurant in King's Cross... It was YUM.
There was a magical candlebra decorating every few tables and a fantastic metal fence wall thing that was more see through than wall, as it was cut out patterns... the candlebra was like a massive church organ pipe thing and it was dark and moody so that reading our menu by tea candle was super hard.
The food was delicious and served tapas style, and poor Ali couldn't eat much because although we ordered non pork related things, they were inevitably decorated with proscuitto shavings or chorizo slices.
Next time, we must remember to be specific and point out no pork please! Even if the dish has no pork mention.
At $7 for two little oysters, (one with a red wine vinegar topping, the other with chorizo, served on a bed of rock salt - ahh finishing touch) it was rather expensive but was it worth it? For a foodie like me, of course!
The seared scallops were so delicious, I've forgotten what was on them aside the crunchy proscuitto sitting atop it, but it was cooked to perfection, soft and juicy and you crunched through the bounciness, but at the same time the outer bit was ever so slightly crunchy enough -or maybe it was just my imagination or maybe it was just a hint of crunchiness and not actual crunchiness, but either way, it was goooood.
Of course the main attraction and apparently this place is known for them - the escargots!
Oh, my lovely snails!!
I've never had them like this before... they were called snails with sweet bread, and I was imagining snails... with sweet bread.
It came out in a ramekan and it was a mixture of snails (deshelled) with some salsa stuff and squishy stuff and.. more stuff. You can't really tell when things are chopped up small, mixed in sauce, squished together in a little thing instead of laid out on a plate, and the place is so dark.
It was so tasty!! No sign of the sweet bread - whatever that is, but I would go back... just to have a ramekan of snails all to myself mm mm!
Nhu has this Danish icecreamery near her too and they had so many different flavours - I had BANANA FUDGE! I love when icecream is so cold and hard it's chewy and it sure did not disappoint - with the yummy real banana flavour (as opposed to banana lollies) and the oozing fudge sections.
The shop next door is a British Lolly Shop and so I bought giant coke bottles and some baby musk pebbles for Ali (yuck!). The lolly shop man was so nice, and was handing out sweets for people to try - what a job!

Oh Thursday night Tiff and I went to The Little Snail for more snail goodness - their set menu price has gone up (entree, main, dessert) to $48.50.
We decided to just have the entree and main, but that added up to $40 each anyway, and with the extra drinks we ordered and a tip, we might as well have fone for the set menu. Oh well.
We started off with snails, of course, and it was delicious as usual, served in their shells on a metal plate with little indents for them to sit in, with a buttery garlic sauce. We had garlic bread which we used to dip in the remaining sauce - this was slightly sickening as the butter and garlic on our bread with the butter and garlic in the snail sauce proved too much of a good thing (but I'd so do it again). The snails were very hot, almost tongue burning, but they were yummy and squuid-like in texture - mm chewy, with that distinctive flavour, and I just really like the snail extracting contraptions they give you.
Tiff had Lamb for her main, and I had kangaroo - which was what we had at I'm Angus the week before - and both times - the lamb won.
I always opt for lamb unless there is kangaroo on the menu, in which case I always feel like I have to get the 'exotic' kangaroo instead (support Australia!), but oh lamb, who can ever top lamb?
Tiff and I had a discussion on the taste of lamb as her mother does not like the taste, citing it was too... 'seng' in chinese, which means.. 'fishy' or 'smelling/tasting of the ocean' - which kind of equates to the english version of that stinky overpowering fish smell you get at fish markets - the one noone likes.
Well I decided that lamb had a distinctive flavour that I guess being so distinctive is bound to have haters... I was explaining to Tiff that Lamb, for me, had a masculine flavour, a strong masculine flavour, that was whiskery... kind of like those documentaries where they show a crystal thing forming but they fast forward so it prickles and multiplies in a few sections - hard whiskers flavour - and if any meat were to have body odour, it would be lamb.
Kind of like how eel is a masculine tasting sea creature but that's another story.
Anyway, I think Tiff only half understood me.

Then on Friday night I went to dinner with Nim, Albert, Carol and her younger sister Christine in Lakemba Desi Hut - an Indian restaurant with a brain masala special stuck on their window.
I took charge of ordering as I'd been twice before, and noone liked Indian food so I was set to change that - and Yesssss *high fives self* they enjoyed the food, Albert said I sold him on it, and everyone was stuffed afterwards (as in really full not totally screwed).
We had chicken tikka as entree (chicken on a sizzling plate cooked in tandoor spices and yoghurt) , butter chicken, lamb roganjosh, beef vindaloo for main with saffron rice and garlic naan and pashawari naan (raisins, cream nuts) and convinced Albert and Nim to have a mango lassi each (mango yoghurt drink - smoothie/milkshake like) and then after dinner I made them eat the birseed mint that is always at the counter of all indian restaurants.
It's in a bowl with a teaspoon, they are colourful spices that look like different kinds of birdseeds, bright red balls, wheat things, little black dots, green things etc, they kind of look like Nerds as well. Anyway, they all taste different and freshen your breath. The only drawback is that some are aniseseed flavour (liquorice) and for me, that's disgusting, Ali loves it, and so did Carol (weirdos).
Nim and Christine spat it out. Albert chewed and swallowed, and thus reaped the full benefits of the refreshing minty breath taste, I scattered mine to the winds after nibbling, and Carol picked out all the aniseseed ones - ew!

Last night Nhu, Richard, Richar'ds school mates Nuno and Danny, Ali and I went to Greenacre Al Aseel for Lebanese food!
I ordered again - all kafta mixed plate served with hommus, baba ganouj, tabouli, felafel and garlic sauce, a medium mixed platter with skewered chicken, lamb and kafte and garlic sauce, and fatoush (this parsely, tomato, cucumber, radish, fried bread and stuff salad) and kibbe naya (raw mince). It was the perfect amount as we all finished it off and were totally stuffed. Their kibbe naya was really nice last night - normally it is rather tasteless (nothing beats Ali's aunt's homemade football shaped ones), however last night itwas so tasty - the raw mince is not bloody at all, it is mixed through with herbs and grains and is minced very fine and has oil drizzled on it - does not have a hard metallic raw meat taste at all - and is very refreshing - Richard loves it and so do I!
We did not end up finishing the night off with Turkish icecream (so hard you cut with a knife and fork, imported from Turkey) as is usual after Leb food so I feel like something is missing but oh well.

Today I had tinned spaghetti with a slice of toasted Baker's Delight bread spread with avocado, and Bobby had tender chicken pieces with carrot and potato (according to the gourmet dog food single serve tub). Bobby is my dog by the way, I did not feed a person dog food.

Bat Jerky

2007-03-26T23:53:00.000+10:00

The other day I saw a dead bat hanging off a power line.
It was hanging by one claw, the other stretched out in surprised pain, one wing folded rigid by it's side, and the other wing outstretched like it was reaching in vain for... life?
Fat load of good that did. Ha!
Anyway, so there it was, all crisp and crunchy looking, and all I could think about was 'ooh! That bat got electrocuted! Ooh! Look at it's thin crunchified outstretched wing! Ooh... I bet it tastes crunchy and salty like crispy quail. Mmm... electrocuted bat...'

Yes, that is right folks, I salivate over powerline kills.
Not roadkill as that would be plain bad taste.
Powerline kills just remind me of Asian BBQ shops - with the hanging glazed assorted poultry with honey stalactites... mmm stalactites... mmm quail brains...
Oh yeah people, when you get quail or pidgeon at a restaurant - remember to eat the head.
No it is not for decoration, what are you ON?? Think about those poor little African kids.
All you have to do is eat the skin around the neck (tasty with a thin layer of fat cushion), then you slowly munch on the head... the skull caves in as it is soft and thin, and the head skin is delicate and tasty. Once you get into the brain, there is a fuller flavour that rolls around in your mouth - relax, you can hardly see the brain, it doesn't even look like a chickpea (those beans that look like miniature brains), and it doesn't pulsate or drip blood or anything.
So you eat that, then you crunch on the tip of the beak. Oh so crunchy, like... chips! Bird Beak Chips!

Wow, all this talk of burnt bats and bird brains is making me hungry.

I had kangaroo at I'm Angus with Tiff and Albert tonight, it was bundles of fun.
We talked about pap smears, prostate cancer tests (fingers up bums?!), mammograms in relation to boob squashing, mammograms in relation to breast feeding women (we can only speculate), or women with boob jobs, ghost tours, and this is where I kind of had horse blinker things on and clutched Albert's arm and screamed at stuff and had to concentrate on not peeing myself on our walk to the car.
Why do we ALWAYS talk about ghosts when we are walking to Albert's car, which is always parked in the murkiest dark spot ever?!

Interesting fact #1: I have to wear my seatbelts as loose as possible. When they get taut and lock up, I have a mild panic attack and struggle wildly until the belt loosens. This sometimes induces hot and cold flushes.

The Musical Fruit

2007-03-03T11:53:00.000+11:00

Ali's friend's Wedding is in exactly one week. I have bruises all down my left leg (I happen to favour that leg when participating in violent interactions with furniture), my periods are going to come exactly around that time, and - the worst of them all - my cousin's phone does not seem to be working.

Yes, that is massively destructive to my carefully planned 'I will get a haircut, on the day of the wedding, thus ensuring my hair will not look overgrown, and will be blowdried to perfection', as my cousin is my hairdresser.

My house does not seem to stock yellowpages, and the online version could not find it. All in all, I am screwed... unless I venture into... a different hairdresser territory!!!

Which I don't know if I can handle, as;
1) I cut my hair once a year, if that
2) Only by my cousin
3) This is due to deep rooted childhood trauma stemming from the mother rather than from frugality
3) Frugality

So what to do??? I might have to actually call up the parents and try and locate a house number or a shop number (as opposed to the mobile I've been trying), of course this involves interaction with the parents (repulsive), or I could rock up on Saturday, and risk him not being able to fit me in due to full bookings (disasterous).

I really need a haircut. See?

Feel free to harrass him or send him a virus :)

2007-03-02T18:59:00.000+11:00

Remember that post I did a few posts back about that dude/dudes who asked for cyber and how I did a little investigative work and asked the dude where he got me from - Bebo - which is apparently some pick up for cyber spot?? Or is my memory failing me?

Anyway, then how I found that the guys name matched some other guy, some other weird emails I had gotten, and different names to different emails and stuff?

Anyway, so I always get these messages from these two emails and it's always the same word...

'heyy'

And I always immediately start saying 'who are you? why are you on my list? etc' and don't answer the 'asl' questions.
What normally happens is, they kind of go ??? at my questions, answer halfheartedly, see that I'm not up for kinky stuff, and go offline. OR I ignore them, and they eventually go offline.
I've had one episode where one gets on, says 'heyy', then goes offline after a while of me not answering, then signs on another email, and says 'heyy' again.

So, what happened last time when I got an answer out of him, was that was he was on his cousin's email, checking his email for him as his cousin's net was stuffed up.
Right, so who chats to people on his cousin's list if his job is purely checking his cousin's email, right?

Anyway, he ends up getting offline because I'm just not answering his asl questions, and he has no answers for my 'why am I on this list?' question.

So, today, our conversation follows the same vein, and I guess he had enough, and decided to be rude by pretending my question was boring by feigning sleep.
AND by injecting swear words.

I HATE swearing.
For me, swearing is only permissive, if you are really really angry, as it is offensive. So for him to swear, displayed (to me), disrespect. And from my point of view, if you are initiating conversation, you should not be disrespectful, because you are the one who wanted to talk in the first place.

Last time, I wanted to post with the real email addresses and names to help me find out who these people were, but Anamur told me that no, that's a bit slack. So I thought, well okay then, I will censor.

But because he was rude today, and made a dig at Ali (my display picture featured me with Ali), I will paste as is.

Feel free to harrass him (on his 'cousin's account), or send him a virus. :)

mewx2@hotmail.com

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
heyy

he-looo kitty says:
who are you???

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
ollie who is this

he-looo kitty says:
why are you on my list??

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
.. ?

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
i dont know this is my cuzns account

he-looo kitty says:
why are you talking to your cousin's friends then??

he-looo kitty says:
and why does your cousins have me on his list?

he-looo kitty says:
i dont know him???

he-looo kitty says:
who is he???

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
zzzzzz

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
fuck dw.

he-looo kitty says:
then don't talk to me

he-looo kitty says:
you keep messaging me on your cousin's account

he-looo kitty says:
tell him to get me off his list

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
lols

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
u delete him

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
i aint touching shit on his account

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
ur a fucking rude one ..

he-looo kitty says:
then why do you talk to people on his list?

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
just come up with all this shit

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
so why the fuck cant i ?

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
is there a rule saying i cant

he-looo kitty says:
you trying to pick up or something?

he-looo kitty says:
always messaging

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
lols yea

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
waht if i am ?

he-looo kitty says:
dont have an account of your own?

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
hahaha

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
well if u READ SOMETHING EARLIER

he-looo kitty says:
pretty loserish if you have to use someone else's accoutn to find ppl

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
it said

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
I WAS CHECKING HIS EMAIL might aswell pick up CHIKX WHILE IM ON

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
fuck

he-looo kitty says:
thats the excuse you used last time

he-looo kitty says:
why you checking his email if you said 'you aint touching shit on his acconut?'

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
yea u know why

he-looo kitty says:
contradicting yoruself now aren't you

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
cuz his NETS FUCKE DUP

he-looo kitty says:
loser

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
hahahaa

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
go fuck that wog kunt in ur dp

he-looo kitty says:
go fuck your mum

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
lmaoo nice come back

he-looo kitty says:
i know

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
thats so natural u dumb shit

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
come up with something new

he-looo kitty says:
incest is natural to you?

he-looo kitty says:
wow

he-looo kitty says:
nice

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
lmao

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
nup

- ǽи ѕk.ỵ / ///\ × н.д.і.Ḻ ; KIDU.ßER » __ ̀̀Ġ[ ii ]ιвiϋѕ says:
thats why i said it

he-looo kitty says:
loser who tries to pick up on his cousin's account

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
loser who tries to pick up on his cousin's account

and once again:

mewx2@hotmail.com

Shoop di woop

2007-02-25T16:36:00.000+11:00

Some days when it all just gets too much, I go and sit by myself in a corner and stare at my shoes...
I mean, is this it?
Is this all there is?

Racist Love Games

2007-01-04T20:46:00.000+11:00

Kat and Ali fight:

1. Kat asks why there is a girl in Liz's room.
2. Ali says it must be the Nutrimetics girl.
3. Kat says but she's Muslim, I didn't know Muslim's sold Nutrimetics, I thought they just had babies and cooked and stuff.
4. Ali gives Kat a wide eyed death stare and clenches his jutted out jaw whilst Kat stands against the cupboard tittering cheekily and playing with blue tac.
5. Ali exhibits male dominance by ordering Kat to the floor, "GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!"
6. Kat flippantly refuses and continues to mold blue tac.
7. Ali stands up and strides towards Kat in one fluid motion, grinding Kat's foot in the process.
8. Kat screams and falls to the floor in agony and tries to reach for maimed foot.
9. Ali blocks access to foot by holding Kat down and laughing into her face.
10. Kat flails as searing pain jolts through her and comments on how much it hurts and how her immune system is shot as all her defence mechanisms are concentrated down at her foot trying to salvage the ruins and how the pain is ebbing through her like rippling tides wave after wave...
11. Ali perfectly replicates Kat's words as she says them, as Kat flounders and bubbles limply.
12. Kat attempts one last stab at Ali by informing him she has stuck the ball of blue tac onto his hair.
13. Ali asks if Kat is kidding.
14. Kat says no.
15. Ali pulls blue tac out of hair and sticks blue tac onto Kat's hair.
16. Kat does not care as her foot is still on fire.
17. Kat sits up, Ali reminds her that the blue tac is in her hair.
18. Kat tells Ali to get it out.
19. Ali tries and realises it is stuck as he had rubbed the blue tac into the hair near Kat's scalp.
20. Ali laughs nervously as he slowly rips the blue tac out of Kat's head reassuring her that it is indeed coming out.
21. Kat tells Ali that blue tac is the hardest thing to get out of hair - worse than gum and that that is why she only stuck the blue tac in a huge ball on the ends of Ali's hair for easy removal.
22. Kat watches as Ali plucks hair out of the chunks of blue tac whilst in the same breath saying says no hairs are being lost.
23. Kat says she is going to end up with a patch of spiky hairs sticking up from her scalp.
24. Ali ends up getting most of the blue tac out.
25. Kat asks if is this Ali's plan to keep her out of sight in the kitchen by maiming and disfiguring her.
26. Kat asks if she has a bald spot now, Ali says just a little one.
27. Ali gives Kat a kiss on the cheek for her woes.
28. Kat reluctantly gives Ali a kiss on the cheek for his troubles but it is more so she doesn't get her foot stamped on again.

(As told by Catherine Feng)

Ali's Version:
1. Kat was like, naughty and stuff.
2. I fixed her proper.
3. Ali resolves all conflict, the commoners rejoice "Hark, the herald angels sing".

Spankin'.

2007-01-03T00:28:00.000+11:00

It's nice to start 2007 with loving words from your favourite brother -

N i M s t y l e r says:
hahah... reading ur nick makes me want to karate chop u in the face
ninja kat piw! piw! piw! says:
wow, so those are your first word to me in 2007
N i M s t y l e r says:
yeah..
wow indeed
N i M s t y l e r says:
well at least they packed a punch..
N i M s t y l e r says:
a karate punch!

Hope everyone had a good new year's eve, I'll be seein' y'all soon now y'hear?

Ali wears helmet (Raphael's own), shirt by old man at bondi markets, Kat wears upside down deer top/dress and a kiss.

msn is kinky, but so are my taste buds.

2006-12-05T17:50:00.000+11:00

Wow so this started off as me deciding to paste weird things I get from random people in my email but then as I am slowly collecting and copying and pasting, I'm discovering that oh my gosh... it's all unravelling now, I'm finding that some people are... the SAME people.. oooOOooooOooh..
Ok so this make no sense to anyone right now, so let me explain a little.

*Puts on American exaggerated tv ad man voice*
Are you sick and tired of deleting random emails in your inbox?
Is being harrassed for cyber sex on msn getting to you?
Do you feel the need to post the few that you have not deleted on your blogsite?
If that sounds like you well you're not alone!
- ok turn off tv now.

So does that make more sense? Yes? Ok good, so moving along.

What I have discovered... is that two messages in my inbox that I have not deleted.. are actually... sent from the same person!! However!!! This is where it gets tricky... I have removed the email addresses as Anamur said that is the nice thing to do, so I have substituted with 'emailaddress[number]', okay? Following so far?
So I get this email:

emailaddress1 has sent this message:
yr website that is.....yr a cool girl....if u happen to read this....maybe look
me up.
ross

So I'm thinking okay, this person is called 'Ross'.
But then later, I get this email... from the same email address BUT, the msn contact address he gives me is DIFFERENT!

email address1 has sent this message:
yr a sweetie.....maybe u can add me to msn emailaddress2

And also, the email addresses have 'names' in them.. that are different to his 'Ross' name! SO! What does it all mean?! Anyway, it has to be the same person because both messages uses lots of dots, like this: ......with no space between words...like so...get it...?

Anyway, the only other thing I have not deleted in my inbox, is an email from a xanga site, inviting me to join:

Blogring Name: I give Asians a good name.
Description: This is for all you hot Asians out there. ;]

Now I have not put up the girl's xanga who invited me - because Anamur said it's like giving out a phone number, but the girl is realllly pretty (in certain pictures), so if you want me to show you her, just tell me and I'll send you her xanga link, but yeah - wooh...

Okay, and lately there has been some dude who talks to me on msn, and after I say 'I don't talk to strangers' he will say 'Oh ok... asl?' So this guy is obviously a stupid retard who doesn't get it, and anyway, I thought he just somehow had me on his msn but THEN as I was looking through my inbox I came across an email that asked me to join www.areyouasian.com, and the invite was from no other than.. this same guy!! Freaky!

And then, today some guy messages me as he somehow got my email address apparently off some site, and here is the conversation:

Ryan says:
Hello.
samurai pizza kat says:
who are you?!
Ryan says:
Ryan got u ceom bebo
samurai pizza kat says:
what?!
Ryan says:
Uhh i got ur email from bebo ?
samurai pizza kat says:
who is bebo?!
i dont know anyone by that name
Ryan says:
err its a sight.
dw
samurai pizza kat says:
what kind of site??
Ryan says:
New people meeting shit.
But people use it for cyber.
samurai pizza kat says:
and my email was on that?!
do i have a profile on it or something? can you send me the link??
Ryan says:
Nuh i just added wrong email i think.
samurai pizza kat says:
ohhh phew...
because i dont sign up to things like that
Ryan says:
I see.
Ur not that type of kinky girl ?
samurai pizza kat says:
um no.
Ryan says:
Ohok.
Well to bad =( . the girl i was supposed to add we where gonna cam2cam
samurai pizza kat says:
ok well... that was not me.
Ryan says:
Can we give it a tryyy ?
What u wanna seee on cam of me ?
samurai pizza kat says:
um, no thanks.
that doesnt interest me
Ryan says:
k.

I would like to point out his profile picture was of a porno looking girl in a white 'net' outfit, so you could see her whole body naked through the netting.

Okay, so then as I'm looking through my inbox what do I find?! An invitation... to a 'bebo' site.. sent to me from the SAME email address that is the guy who told me to join the asian website, and is the same guy who talks to me on msn even though I say I don't talk to strangers!! And his 'name' in the bebo email is different to the one he introduced himself as the first time he ever messaged me... Ooooh conspiracy..

So this 'Ryan' guy, is diff to the other guy (let's call him Retard).... Ryan got me off bebo, Retard sent me invite to bebo and to areyouasian and msgs me, and.. well that's all I have so far. Right now I'm thinking... my email must be on bebo.
Anyway, so this is my fantastic detective work. I will keep you updated if I get more invites/emails/messages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another note, two great loves of mine are cheese, and garlic sauce. Alright mum, you are right, I eat a lot of cheese... but at that time I was not eating cheese! And I don't eat cheese in front of you!
Anyway back to my two great loves. As I am home alone, with cheese and and garlic sauce in the fridge and crackers in the cupboard, I thought to myself, well, I should make myself a snack, as I am feeling rather peckish, and as I don't have bread, or anything substantial in the house, why dont I have some crackers and cheese, and while I'm at it, why not some garlic sauce to go with it as well, I mean, they both taste great, will they not taste even better together?
So I lovingly spread garlic sauce on some crackers and cut some slices of brie to go on top.
Of course I add some cracked pepper and sea salt and yesiree, taste sensation. Granted this is not the first time I've had this food combo, so it is nothing new and nothing too fancy for my taste buds, but it is good and satisfying, and kills two birds with one stone. Why choose one when you can have both?

Anyway, so as I was putting away the cheese and garlic sauce, I noticed some plums, so I thought, what better way to wash down some garlic cheese and brie on crackers, than with some plums? So I washed myself two plums and brought them back to my plate.

I guess the problem then was, they were very sour. Had I known before, I probably would not have washed two, because now I have to eat them.
I've demolished one, and let me tell you it was hard until I thought well, as they are so sour anyway, maybe a little sea salt will help make it taste better? So I grind a little on and lo and behold, it tastes better. Then as I crunched on my salted plum I thought, well, the pepper grinder is still here and I might as well add some pepper to my plum as well, because pepper makes things taste better and who has salt without pepper? So I grinded some on and lo and behold again - my plum tasted even better.

So right now I am looking at the second plum and I am guessing I will have to polish it off with salt and pepper to mask the sour taste and I'll probably have to find something else to wash all that down and I'm thinking if I didn't have my cheese snack I probably wouldn't be in this mess in the first place but seeing as it is too late to turn back now, I will have to crack open a packet of mamee noodles. And some junior mints. Mmm junior mints. They are button shaped, with a very thin outer shell of dark chocolate, and gooey mint sauce inside. You put them in your mouth and bite and surprise - it is soft and yields and the gooey mint is sweet and refreshing against the creamy dark chocolate taste that rolls around and mmm... they're really good so go out and get some. And mamee noodles... oh blue monster that is not cookie munching, you have big teeth, and you make the noodles so attractive.

Some people say I eat like I'm pregnant... I like to think I eat like noone is watching, dance like noone is watching and um.. eat like noone is watching.

Thi Quotes

2006-11-21T01:41:00.000+11:00

samurai pizza kat says:
friends can only take so much
Julie-n... says:
what are you talking abt!
Julie-n... says:
i held in my pee for you woman

Julie-n... says:
what does ali do when you tell him how unhappy you are?
Julie-n... says:
aside from giving you pills

Julie-n... says:
im full of shit
samurai pizza kat says:
im like a shit machine

Haha...

How did I do it?!

2006-11-19T22:14:00.000+11:00

I am so bored.
And so hungry.
And so depressed.

I have been at home for a straight total of 5 hours and 20 minutes now.
I'm talking about, awake hours.

How I managed to stay sane at home all that time back in the day is beyond me. I am hallucinating about the best way to kill myself. Not good not good not good.

I have no food to eat because the big stove is broken, the kettle, I was told today, has disappeared, rendering even 2 minute noodles not an option, and my cupboard is as bare as the barren land that is my chest.
This is just depressing.

I was going to eat the left over block of cheese but that was growing cotton wool mould so I chucked it. The box said it will continue to ripen etc as it is cheese, but I figured fluffy white mould that sits up off the cheese is probably not what it meant.
I don't even know where my cup has gone, so I can't even get a drink.
And yes, I realise I can use another cup but look alright, I need my own cup and it is gone.

I am miserable! And I have a tummy ache. Of the insoluble kind.

*Sigh*

It's not you you you you you you or you... it's me.

2006-11-14T00:27:00.000+11:00

Last night I came home to a bathroom full of baby spiders.

They scuttled across the ceiling, darted in and out of the space behind the mirror, and dangled from their butt floss.
They looked like they were going to grow into big dangerous spiders.
How I came to this conclusion was of course the fact that they were brown, and their legs pointed in groups of two... south west but more to the west, north west but more to the west, north east but more to the east, and south east but more to the east.
This is my technical description for all you tech heads out there. I personally would have described the legs as splayed in a kind of alien hand signal... you know what I'm talking about.

Yes, it was their legs, the fact that there were a billion of them, my annoyance of having to brush my teeth and wash my face whilst they all watched me with their multiple beady baby eyes, and that they were light red brown and clashed with my bathroom colour scheme.
Okay I lie, they matched well with the beige, apricot, brown, colour scheme.

Anyway, their fate was decided the minute I laid eyes on the wretches, and after I'd finished getting ready for bed, I grabbed the insect spray can, and I blasted them all and watched through an intoxicating haze of spray as they curled up on the spot, became glued to the wall from the spray, started dangling from the ceiling on invisible thread, and the few lucky ones that tried to run got a double spray soaker attack. P'SHOO!

I was having trouble breathing from the light mist and the smell that was settling on everything including myself, and yes, I had read the can thoroughly before using as apparently, (according to Ali who just works in a hopsical *that's where kangaroos go when they're sick geddit? hop...sical?* but what would he know anyway) I have a compulsive 'must read e v e r y t h i n g' disorder, and yes I did read that it was not to be sprayed up into the air and yes I went against the instructions but think about it - spiders are usually up on a wall, or up a waterspout. It's not like the song says 'climbed down the waterspout' now does it?
And so they should really invent a spray that allows for the removal of the 'do not spray into the air' line from their warnings.

What am I talking about here?!

Oh yeah.
So through the mist, it was almost angelic, as I watched the spiders do death crawls, death curls, and my favourite, the death dangle, where they start hanging, no, dropping then hanging, mid air, different thread lengths, and swaying like tiny dying pendulums... it almost brought a tear to my eye because I suddenly thought of Charlotte's Web, her demise, her one billion kids... which brought me back to my own baby spiders - probably only a few hours old and not knowing what hit them, so luckily that stopped the tear, which stopped me burning my eyeballs with spray I'm assuming would have gotten all over my fingers which I would have rubbed my tear away from my eyeball with.

I opened the window to let out the fumes, and to let their little innocent baby spider spirits float out into the night breeze, probably crying "why me..? What happened..? I didn't do anything wrong... mummy...?"

This morning I was greeted by a billion little spider carcasses but it brought me no satisfaction.Oh yes, you thought wrong -I DIDN'T enjoy the massacre, I enjoyed the beauty of it, but not the actual taking of lives. Get it right people.

And anyway, it had to be done. If I had taken on the role of surrogate mother (that is to act as a substitute mother, not to inseminate myself with male spider sperm and give birth to a billion spiders - gross) to a billion spider babies, do you really think they would have grown up to be fine young citizens? I doubt it.
As a working, single mother, I wouldn't have been able to provide them with the time, love and devotion they deserved, and they'd probably grow up to be right young terrors and everything you invest in them will come back to bite you on the butt.
Probably whilst you'e putting on your shoe, or sitting on the dunny (being Aussie and all.)

So you know, pro abortions and whatever.

Let Me Count The Ways

2006-10-04T23:08:00.000+10:00

Being the ultra smart cookie that I am, I managed to delete all the photos off my camera, which I'd 'uploaded' onto the computer, so um, luckily I burnt Nhu a copy or I'd be crying right now, however I have lost quite a few pics that were solely on my camera, namely of Nhu's neighbour's beautiful black cat with white feet and blue eyes, and some of me with a giant tea cup set. Oh hold on, Ali accidently burnt those for Nhu too. (As in the teacups, not the cats).

So as I cannot post the lovely pictures from my recent Girls Night Out, here is one from the archives.

Nim and Ali sitting in a tree.

Aww... My two favourite boys... sharing a milkshake... how romantic!

A pat on the bum for anyone who can guess where this photo is taken.. hint - pooo someone farted *gag x10*

10 Reasons to love Nim and Ali:

1. They're easy to love
2. They are sometimes nice to me
3. They make funny jokes... about me.
4. They're sweet if you feed them
5. They love eating things you put in their bowl
6. They're kind of girly
7. They like Little Britain
8. They humour me and tell me I'm dumb
9. Nim gives me noogies; Ali gives me boogers
10. They do silly photos like this:

I mean... what the?!*

Well, my contacts are kind of sticking my my eyeballs now, so I think I will go get out of my jeans which are digging into my fat muffin top stomach. Goodnight my cherry ripes. Mmm... dark chocolate layer that looks like a crocodile's back....

*Yeah okay so I'm in the photo too, but look at their expression?! They're sharing some kind of 'in-the-zone' face that I'm obviously not a part of.

Starry, starry night

2006-09-24T22:38:00.000+10:00

This is one of my favourite pictures. Kat and Ali at Mai's sunny Brisbane wedding.

Hello

2006-09-13T19:27:00.000+10:00

I really like cute little waistbelts, because they're so pretty and useless, and when you sit down, your stomach rolls over them, and you have to slowly let out the belt, one hole at a time, because your stomach gets fatter as the day progresses. Not that I wear them, because I don't wear belts.
Hm, my 'explanation' as to why I like belts didn't really sell it too well huh?

Ok new topic - oh my gosh I really HATE BIG PLASTIC WAISTBELTS!!!!!!!!!
They're hideous!!! I mean, the trend now is for them to be big and bright and made of plastic, - shiny plastic! You could be wearing something really nice, but if you whack on a big shiny plastic belt, you must be out of your mind to think that looks good! You see them in all the shop windows, big bright, shiny plastic waistbelts, everywhere! Gosh! I just want to smack them all in the face! Yes! I want to smack a belt in the face alright?!

They're so stupid!! If you sit down in one, your stomach has nowhere to roll over because the belt is too thick! So you end up feeling claustrophobic and sit there with your belt digging into your rib and underboob and pelvic bone!!!

I'm laying it down now you guys, if any of you wear big wide shiny plastic belts, you are a big fat hairy LOSER!! ...Oh gosh that sounds like me *sniff*
(Ahem, I mean about the big fat hairy loser bit, NOT the shiny plastic belt bit thankyou very much) *tosses hair*

Oh in other news, the other day, as my mum was driving me to Lidcombe station, we had a conversation that went as follows:

Mum: "So have you talked about when you're going to get married yet?"
Me: "In a few years."
Mum: "In a few years?!" *in Chinese, this was said as 'joong yiw gey leen?!' which relays 'what, you mean youre still going to wait a few years til you get married?!'
Me: "What? You want us to get married sooner?!"
Mum: "Just wondering" *In chinese this translates to 'no, I was just wanting to know'
Mum: *mutters half to herself, half to me* "How long have you been, dating now, way over a year.."
Me: "Almost one and a half years."
Mum: "Yes, already one and a half years... and how old are you now.. 23 years old... one and a half years.. 23 years old..."

Point is, she brought it up in the most natural matter of fact way, expressed surprise/disbelief at how far away the wedding would be but without indicating she wanted us to be married sooner, and she put a time frame thing on me, as though dating that long was quite a long time/marriage should be on the cards time, and 23 is a get married age.

Then she went down a different path.

Mum: "Ali cut his hair?"
Me: "Yeah."
Mum: "It's so curly? Does he perm his hair or is it natural?"
Me: "Why would he perm his hair?! It's natural?!"
Mum: "Natural? It looks like he permed his hair. It's so curly... It wasn't that curly when it was long." *That being her point of evidence towards Ali perming his hair.
Me: "That's because he tied it up, so it was pulled straight. His hair is naturally curly."
Mum: "Hm... well it looks weird."

Ok, so in summary; I like small cute sophisticated waistbelts, hate loud shiny big plastic waistbelts, my mum assumes Ali and I will get married soon, my mum thinks Ali's curly hair is a weird perm.

Mum's Buns

2006-08-08T19:33:00.000+10:00

The other day I decided to buy my family some taro buns from BreadTop, that happening new asian bakery with the expensive but nicely packaged buns and cakes.

So that night I get home at 3:30am and leave the packet of taro buns on the kitchen bench.
The next morning, I go downstairs to find, all taro buns missing, and an empty open packet, just sitting on the kitchen bench. What spun me out was not the fact that there were no buns left (although I had hoped they would have left me with half of one at least), but the fact that the empty packet was just sitting on the kitchen bench all puffed up as though it had taro buns in it.

I thought, perhaps they have put them in the fridge (gross), so I check the fridge, but no, not there. So that means they must have eaten them all. But why leave the bag?! This is unusual as we get yelled out for not throwing away empty packaging, so for this empty package to be sitting so boldly out in the open, instead of at least meekly folded up next to the bin, was very strange indeed.

I was about to put the packet in the bin when I stopped and thought, maybe they left it there on purpose, maybe they need to use it for something. Although why they would need to use a slightly oily bun packet is beyond me. So I decided to just leave it there.

Cue, two days later.

Am catching the train with my sister and bring up the taro buns. I ask her hey, did you know what happened to the taro buns that I bought the other day? She says, taro buns? I say yeah, they were sitting on the kitchen bench. I bought them. For you guys to eat. Only I didn't expect them to be gone a few hours after I'd brought them home. Leaving behind just an empty packet.

Ohh, she says, those taro buns! They were yours?!

So the story unravels, she had one, and that was because when she came downstairs, the mother tells her 'have one, they're taro buns.' The grandparents had been over so they'd had their share and mum had, typical her, insinuated 'there were five in the packet, this person had this, this person had that, there should be one left............ your dad must've eaten it.'

So not only had she offered my sister the taro buns as though they were hers, she had counted the taro buns and insinuated dad had taken one without permission, as though they were hers. Ok, so all these can still just be put down to my mother being her typical evil self, but then comes the deciding factor.

To top it off, she told my sister that her friend gave them to her, as the friend works there, 'remember, those red bean buns?' and had given them red bean buns before, so yes, these taro buns, were given to her by a friend, and so they were hers, to offer to the family.

I will buy more bread buns and leave them on the kitchen bench, but we're putting a dampener on her little taking credit when credit is not due, as my sister (if she remembers) is going to ask her why she left the empty packet (how rude), but did not leave any actual buns for Catherine, who by they way mum, bought for us, so I don't know what red bean friend story you're spinning.

What a beeeeeep!!!

monk kuhhhh

2006-07-23T18:04:00.000+10:00

Nim and I had lunch last week, where he told me a bit about his one month trip to see the World Cup, and we talked about the weather and stuff.

At one point we had been waiting quite a while for our food and we were wondering how long we'd been waiting..
Kat: "I wonder how long we've been waiting - when did they take our order?"
Nim: *checks watch* "About ten minutes ago."
Kat: *calculates* "Well then it's been about ten minutes."
Nim: *Looks at Kat like she's an imbecile.*

I was only semi embarrassed because I say stupid stuff all the time, and also, how can I be embarrassed when I'm talking to someone who has turned a rich brown colour, grown both hair and facial hair that pays homage to the great Monkey Magic?
Yeah that's right folks, instead of saying 'You look great!' in reference to the overseas trip glow that people come back with, it was more like 'Wow, you look like Monkey Magic.'

Nim also told me about a bag he was going to get me. Emphasis on 'was going to'. He said it was a small bag.. not a clutch.. but then he got confused, so it might have been a clutch.. well it was aqua coloured, with little 'things' on it that looked like scales, at which point I ooh-ed "Like a mermaid's bag!" and he said yes, stating that he thought it would go with my 'She-ra' bag. Aw how sweet. Of course, he didn't end up getting it for me because he didn't have time, and in hindsight, he thought perhaps he should have taken a photo of it for me, but that's alright, it's the thought that counts.

This picture is not from the lunch.
Brownie points for who can guess where this picture is from!

The Origins Of My Fat Head.

2006-07-05T21:08:00.000+10:00

When I was born, as my mother liked to tell me, I was the ugliest thing she'd ever laid eyes on, she couldn't believe she could give birth to such an ugly baby, she figured, her and dad aren't bad looking, how in the world did they manage to produce such a horrendous red wrinkly thing with a shocking mass of spiky black hair.
And the cone shaped head.
She was worried that would stick, but the doctor assured her that it would 'reshape' into a normal head in due time, but as mum was not convinced, the doctor told her she could try massaging or rubbing the top of my head to 'hasten' the return to a normal shape.
The strange head shape, she told me, was due to me being so big that I wouldn't come out, and so they resorted to clamping my head and pulling me out, and boy, after me she did not want any more because not only was I hideous, I was painful, and of course that was my fault for being big.
Back to my misshapen head. Mum rubbed away religiously because she couldn't bare to think of an ugly baby growing into an ugly adult with a cone head, and as my resulting head seems to be rather on the round side, she took to telling me it was probably because she over-rubbed in a bid to get my head un-coned, this supposedly being funny, but of course as the years went on, she has taken to telling me it is because I am fat, due to eating too much cheese.
Nevermind the fact that both she and my father have round heads, oh no, my head shape is a direct result of me being a cheese eating lard arse freak.

I don't even eat cheese!

... in front of her.

Another thing the doctors told my parents when I was still a baby, was that I would be taller than them. They were delighted of course, because apparently my relatives worried over my fat baby legs meaning I'd grow up to be a midget with fat bow-ed legs, yes, not just fat, but bow-ed as well. Don't ask me how that relates, but I guess 'deformities' come in pairs.
Well I grew up, had my growth spurt, fulfilled the prophecy of being taller, and when I'd stopped growing any more, this story was relayed to me, with the added expectations of me eventually towering over them with model like proportions.
Of course after the enthusiastic "They said you would grow taller than us!" there would be a moment of reflective silence, the mood would dampen, you just knew they were thinking 'is this it? is this what you mean by taller? not 30cm?' and then dad, all somber like, with more than a tinge of disappointment, would state, "You were supposed to be tall." thus ending the conversation.

I, disobedient child, have failed them by growing wrong.

But I don't have bow legs..?

Serial Girl.

2006-06-26T22:22:00.000+10:00

In today's news, my sister sent me an email with a question that I rolled my eyeballs at and answered in a heartbeat, then scrolled down and fluffed up with pride that I'd gotten the right answer only to then break out into a cold sweat when I read on and realised that no... getting the answer right is not such a good thing... in fact, it means you think like a psychopath. Noice.
So then she sends me this other link to a 'guess who is a comp tech dude and who is a serial killer' via photos. I get 10 out of 10.
So I'm thinking I might be in the wrong profession.

Excuse me whilst I go sharpen my knives...

Before I go...

2006-06-12T01:14:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I went shopping with Ali, the sweet little deer.
Yes, my bambi baby and me went shopping for wikkle wabbits to er... feed carrots to.

EW TALK ABOUT GROSS OUT!!!

Scrap that intro, I was going to be all slimy gross sweet and crap but I can't stand that normally so it was too hard to pretend.

Anyway, to cut a long and rather boring story short, I bought a really weird looking bag that is red with a blue heart on it and some bells and strings, a skirt, and a pair of heels.
I shall describe:
Skirt is black, A-line, below the knee, swish swish, black petticoat underneath, top layer is sheer and is like a fan - zigzag-ish, near the bottom is scenery - outlines of chapels and bicycles and horses and carriages and cats with tiny bits of green red blue. In fact, the skirt is called 'Ride Me To Church.'
Shoes are Tony Bianco heels. Light wooden tan brown, closed round toe barbie shoes, (pumps), with wooden heel and sole, added height, so extra cm to the sole.

Anyway, I keep thinking about the white version of the skirt... I really want that one too, however the skirt was $98. Yes, I splurged. It's the most expensive item of clothing I've ever bought, in my 23 years of pathetic life. The heels were $109.95, also the most expensive pair of shoes I've ever bought. So I don't know if I can justify getting the white skirt... when it is an exact copy of the black skirt... just white. But it's so beautiful!

Oh, and we bought over $100 worth of books from Angus & Robertson.

I want that skirt.

10 things i hate about you

2006-06-09T23:11:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was the worst day EVER! (Not really.) But it was pretty bad!
Let me tell you about it.

1. Firstly, I get to work with a craving for olives. Delicious, salty, juicy, eye squinching, olives. Yes, I know squinching is not a real word. Sheesh, let me tell my story already, woman!
So, I've already forgotten what went on in the morning, it's all a bit hazy to me now, but I distinctly remember going to - oh hold on, it's come back to me.

So in the morning I got myself a greek salad from downstairs and it was very tasty except for the fact that there were only 3 olives and 4 piecews of fetta in the whole thing, and the rest was a lot of onion, which, I wouldn't normally mind, but you know, too much is too much, and I got heartburn, so I had to do away with the onions. So I'm licking my chops thinking mmm, now that was some nice greek salad aside from the missing favourite ingredients and excess onion causing heartburn and bad breathe.

So at lunch I decide I just need more olives. Just do.
So I go to the salad place, and decide on making my own salad, with added extras - fetta, smoked salmon, and avocado. And I was going to add olives and corn and rocket and lettuce mix and capsicum and mushrooms and tomato and normal cheese and egg and beetroot and lots of others and it was going to be the best salad ever and then what happens?

The girl was obviously new, and the guy who was also working there was pretty peed off at her, and rushed around to help with the salad making because there was a huge pile up of customers and the girl was dawdling. So she starts on one salad, whilst he makes a bunch. Just when he finishes four salads, she finishes one. And this is where the drama starts. He yells out "Garden Salad with fetta?' noone owns up, we all look at eachother like what? No, that aint ours. He yells out again, but noone answers again, so he moves to next salad. "Garden Fresh with chicken?" Again noone answers. Then the girl says to me "Smoked salmon?" I'm like um... yeah... and I'm looking at the salad in her hand and I'm like er......." And it hits me at the same time as it hits the guy, the stupid idiot girl, had typed in 'garden fresh' for all of us, with our choice of added (more money) extras... when ALL of us had wanted to 'make our own salad'. And one other girl figured it out too because she says to the guy that she ordered extra fetta BUT it was to make her own salad.. He rolls his eyes (he is this punk kid with black hair eyes clothes and pink flashes of colour etc) and dramatically chucks all the salads he just made away. The girl is silent and hands me my salad. Anyway, I take it and walk off because I'd been waiting for like 15 mins and had to get back to work. As I was walking off, this other girl said to her um, no I wanted to make my own.. because the salad girl had started making her a garden fresh salad too.

I get back to my office and sit there and open my gross out salad and sure enough, it was gross out. It had a smidgen of smoked salmon and a smidgen of avocado and a smidgen of fetta. And the rest was the dreaded salad ingredients that make me cry: tomato, lettuce, cucumber, carrot, celery. A far cry from the salad in my head. I ate all my extras, and picked at the rest. I wanted to cry. Hey wow, I just said 'cry' three times.
There weren't any olives either. And I had said I wanted olives in it, and the girl had said yeah.
I HATE HER! I would voodoo doll her, but I don't want bad karma.
I ended up chucking most of the salad away because it tasted so bland and disgusting and by the time I went home, I was in a state of starvingness. And then the night just gets worse.

~~~~~

2. My mum picks me up (warning bells) and drives to the grandparents house where she just needs to 'pop in' and give them stuff. 'Pop in' my ballooning arse. I tell her to HURRY because I HAVE to go home because I was shaking from hunger. So we go in and of course we end up leaving like 2 hours later. She dawdled and then gran was like stay for dinner! And of course mum does coz she is lazy and never cooks. Gran had made vinegar and was very excited because she loves vinegar with rice. Yes you read right, vinegar. What it is is like a soup almost, and it's pitch black vinegar and it's very good for you, keeps you warm and other health things, and it has pig feet in it. And that's about it. Hot vinegar and pig's feet. Anyway, so we sit down to eat and I'm eating away and it's all good whilst mum blabs about crap as usual to them, and then she turns her attentions to me.

Mum: *Digs around in vinegar and discovers lump of pig meat with fat attached* "Oh Catherine! It has pig fat and pig skin in it! You like pig skin! Eat some!"
Granpa: "Haha! You like pig skin? Yeah it's really good isn't it?"
Me: "Yeah, I already had some whilst you were still busy walking around the house whilst gran was like 'hurry up and eat the food is getting cold!'"
Mum: "Yeah she loves fat! ............Hey everyone look at her head, it's getting rounder."
Grandpa: *Stares in confusion* "Huh? Her head is getting rounder?"
Mum: "Yeah look at it, look how round her head is, it's huge!"
Me: "My head has always been round."
Mum: "No, but look, it's rounder! You're getting fat! That's why! Your head is rounder!"
Grandpa: *Stares* "Is it?! It really grew rounder?! She's getting fat?!"
Me: "No! It has always been this shape! It's the shape of my head! It is not getting rounder!"
Mum: "Yes it is! It is SOOOO round now! Yes dad, she IS getting fat! She eats SO MUCH CHEESE! SO MUCH CHEESE! She is going to turn into a really big fat woman!!!"
Me: "What are you on about?! I am NOT getting fat on cheese?! Where did you get that from?! My head has been round since I was little! It's my FACE SHAPE!"
Grandpa: "What? Cheese?! Getting fat?!"
Mum: "How much do you weigh now?"
Me: "52kg"
Mum: "Oh my gosh, I only weigh 40 - whatever it is."
Me: "That's because you're underweight and smaller than me?!"
Mum ignores me and continues ranting, then grandpa says to me: "Catherine, don't eat too much oils, it's not good for you, a little is ok, but too much fatty stuff will make you fat, you don't want to be fat."
I sit there fuming.
Grandma eats her vinegar and rice and occasionally closes her eyes and mumbles and smacks her lips and looks at me in earnest "Mmmm I love vinegar, I really do... vinegar with rice... I could eat it alllll day."

Finally mum moves onto a different topic after I shuttup and let her go on about my fat head and my penchant for cheese and my eventual fat lady-ness.
I finish and go to put my bowl in the sink and grandma makes me eat another bowl of food, and then a mandarin which she tells me is from their backyard and there's heaps so eat more and I'm so full. We hang around and chat whilst mum gossips and goes on and on to grandpa about crap and dawdles with her dinner. Grandma shows me more vinegar in the fridge and tells me more about the health benefits and then shows me a burn on her arm from the work and the fire and then shows me these massive chopsticks she got so that the fire wouldn't get to her, but that she doesn't know if they're any good because she has yet to open them. Mum is still sitting there blabbering and not eating. Finally grandma goes up to her and tells her to hurry up and take whatever else she wants to eat from the plates because gran has her gloves on and wants to wash everything at the same time.
Gran eventually hurries mum to leave and turns to me saying how I must be tired after work and just want to go home and shower and rest. I nod my head vigorously.
As we leave, gran tries to make us take home some vinegar, but we don't, and as we say our goodbyes. Grandpa says hold on, come here, to me. And I go over and he feels my arm and say oh it's quite 'meaty' and then tells me again not to eat too much oil coz the trend is for girls to be slim and I won't look good if I get fat. Mum latches onto the conversation and again doles out more fat stuff about me. Grandma cuts in and says she wants to put on weight but the older she gets, the skinnier she gets. (She looks like a skeleton.) I say well, when you get old, you lose weight I suppose (the shrinking asian syndrome). Mum boasts how she only weighs 40 whatever it is kilos, and how she can't put on weight and all her friends say how skinny she is. I'm like you can put on weight if you eat more, you're UNDERWEIGHT, not normal weight. I tell her she is proud of her skinny frame because she gets compliments f rom her friends, she goes oh I eat all I can but I don't put it on *toss hair I'm so good*, by this time I just want to punch her but of course I can't, and having grandpa tell me in all seriousness to watch it and not put on any more weight coz I will look ugly made me want to punch him but of course I can't coz I actually like him, unlike my mum who I don't like at ALL.
Mum goes on about herself, I say the doctor tells her she is underweight, she isn't normal, and she just goes on about me being a fat lardarse.
We end up leaving and get in the car and earlier on, on the drive to grandparents place, mum is telling me how we have to go to my uncle's b'day dinner tomorrow (tonight), so I'm like ok then, I don't want to, was going to do overtime at work, but fine ok. Then she says Olivia isn't going. I'm like what?! I don't really want to go then... hm still deciding...Then she keeps going on and on about it like she has to convince me and I'm like I said ok?! That was in the car on the way to grandparents. (Mum is very good at talking at you, and ignoring everything you say.)
So on the way home she goes on about it again, and I'm like I don't want to go. And she goes why? And I'm like coz I don't like eating with you. SHe goes you're just saying that because Olivia isn't going. I'm like no... I'm saying it because I don't like eating with you as company. Because whenever we get together to eat, you always talk about how fat I am/how I will become fat. She says pfft do not. I say um YES you do, what were you just talking about at the grandparents? Telling them my head is round and fat and that I eat a lot of cheese?!
She says yeah but you are and you do? I'm like and when have you seen me eat 'soo muuuch cheeese!!' ?!?! She ignores this and tells me I'm just changing my mind about dinner because Olivia isn't going and I say again no, it's because I don't like eating with you and listening to you talk crap about me. She says why do you worry so much about what people say about you? It's not important. I say yes it is when you're making crap up and we're all family and you talk bad crap! She says how is it bad? You shouldn't take what people say as bad.
I say what am I supposed to take it like? And mimic exactly what she said, which was in a bad way, not in a good way about my apparent moon head and fat eating rampage.
She says something that doesn't make sense (she likes to argue, will never admit she is wrong, will defend herself to the death and her arguments are hard to follow because they don't make sense because she skewers everything into nonsense that somehow makes her appear in the right) and then says I am making crap up.
I say oh really now? And give her the example of eating out with her and friends, and how at home she always tells me to stop eating so much, watch what you eat, you're going to turn into a fat ugly woman and noone will want you because you'll be ugly and fat, and when at dinner in public, her friends will compliment her on her 'two beautiful daughters, so slim, they must watch their figures huh?" And mum always says "oh yes, you know young people, always watching what they eat, I tell them to eat but they're so vain." And Olivia and I have to grit our teeth and smile as to not make a scene.
When inside we're screaming UM EXCUSE ME?!?! WE DO NOT WATCH WHAT WE EAT!! WE ARE NATURALLY BUILT THIS WAY AND AT HOME YOU TELL US TO STOP EATING LIKE HORSES AND NOW YOU'RE MAKING CRAP UP!?!
I tell her this, and she says no she doesn't, I say yes you DO. Give her more examples, so she knows she can't get away with it so she changes her tuen and comes up with 'yeah well, why take what people say to heart, if they say that, I just say oh yeah, she is, I just agree with them." I say to her, well that's just it!! You're two faced! At home you abuse me on what I should not eat and threaten me about being fat and ugly and then outside you spin lies and make it look to your friends that we have to work at our figures because we're vain little lettuce eating typical girls.
She says well it's like when people say oh you look like your dad then I say yeah like her dad, but if people say oh you look like your mum I say oh yeah her mum. I just agree with them, it's easy. Why care so much about what they say?
I yell at her that is NOT the point!!! The point is I
don't like your company which is why I don't like eating at home (I am rarely at home nowadays) because I have to listen to you talk crap to me! And your head and dad's head are both ROUND. How did you think my head would end up?! Long?!
She goes pfft you're just making all this crap up to get out of dinner tomorrow night, fine! Don't go! I'm not forcing you!
I say, you ARE forcing me to go, what do you think you've been doing in the car on both trips?! She says well don't go then! I say I just said I'm not going to! She says well don't then! I say I just said, I'm not?!?!?! She has to have the last word. And still goes on about the fact that I'm making up crap and making a big deal out of nothing.
I give up.
Basically, she has no empathy at all this woman who is my mother, and she nevers sees that she could be wrong, she is always right and she will argue her point to the death. I hate her!!!!!!!

Stupid bitch.

Anyway, so I have decided to diet. So today I had salad all day. But then binged on macca's on the way home. But that's ok, I'll just salad it and then binge on crap and it'll all be good. And I am going to watch my portions and I am going ot lose weight til I'm 50kg. That will keep me underweight. I could try for 48 but that might be a tad on the unhealthy side, but I'll show her, the stupid bitch.
And if Nicole Ritchie can do it, then so can I. AND she chiselled inches off her face from weight loss... so hopefully my fat face will... deflate?! I don' think it's possible but I'll be damned if I don't get thin!
So that is the game plan. Yes I hate my mum and yes her words are finally getting to me after all these years. Watch me develop an eating disorder.

FUCK YOU, MOTHER!

~~~~~

3. Oh, and that's not the end of my bad day. Mum got a call from this guy when we were at the grand's place, and it was some guy wanting the dog - oh rewind.

We are like a halfway house for dogs. Mum seems to take in stupid idiotic asian's abandoned dogs, and we have to look for new homes for them. This dog is a jack russell cross mini fox terrier. People keep coming to see him and then don't want him because he is not goodlooking enough/too big/too something or other. They are all idiot asians who want decoration dogs rather than 'hi i want a dog.'
Anyway, mum is getting desperate to offload him on someone. SO when this guy calls and expresses keen interest, she of course plays it cool by saying how she doesn't know if she wants to give him away anymore because she is so attached to him and blah blah and he is so cute and blah and he is like please, I really want it. SHe hangs up and tells my grandpa who is like um, just give it to him?! She says well of COURSE I'm going to give it to him but I have to play it cool see? Make him think we don't want to give it to him. Idiot woman.

Anyway, we get home after our car argument and the guy calls again expressing his sincere interest in the dog. Mum say well............. and after like an hour says oh ok. By this time I am upstairs. I was downstairs playing with Bobby and Richy (that is the name his old owner gave him) before and had gone upstairs eventually and mum was STILL on the phone. Anyway, mum yells at me excitedly that she is taking the dog to his place NOW, did I want to go with her. I say no as I'm already bespectacled and in bed reading memoirs of a geisha (Ali bought it for me I love him), anyway they leave and I am sad because I had grown quite attached to the little monkey. (Richy, not Ali.) So I sniffled to sleep.

~~~~~

4. And to top it off, I woke up wrong the day before that and had really bad neck shoulder and back pain and it got really bad at work and I couldn't bend my neck at all, or move my arms properly. The pain got worse and worse and that night I tried to get Ali to massage me but he kept falling asleep or forgetting he was massaging me within, literally, 4 seconds. Don't ask me how, but he managed. So I couldnt sleep properly and had woken at 4 something in the morning and couldn't sleep from the pain. Next day, the pain was worse, and I used a heat compress thing and tried to massage myself, and that night slept badly from the pain and then woke at 5 something in the morning and tossed and turned and couldn't sleep til my alarm again. I wanted to get a massage during my lunch break but chickened out because I am scared of weird asians in white lab coats touching me in the middle of a shopping centre. The pain was so unbearable I had trouble working. This morning I woke early again around 5:30 and just when I got to sleep, my alarm went off. Anyway, I used more heat compressing at work today and it is starting to feel better. I've never had such bad muscle pain. Bleurgh.

~~~~~

So that was my bad day. Today was better because I woke up to see Richy downstairs and in the car on the way to work I asked dad why the dog was still here and he said mum came back with him because Richy and the guy's pet jack russell didn't get along. So great going mum, with her stupid 'make them chase for the dog that she doesn't want anyway' tactics. Back to square one. (Yay, he's still here!)

~~~~~

Ok, update over.

It's Ugly Time.

2006-05-28T23:12:00.000+10:00

I think my eyelashes are snapping off. In clumps.
So to add to my body woes of ballooning into a lard arse, I have been noticing lately, that my eyelashes are ... missing in clumps.
So as you all know, I have to wear mascara every day, and if I don't - well, that doesn't happen. Fact is, I feel naked without mascara, so will not leave the house without it. I have been using this awesome mascara which really makes my lashes stay curled and enhances their natural beauty (ha) and it of course manages this by being of the waterproof variety. As we all know, waterproof mascara is notoriously hard to remove.
Anyway, I am thinking that perhaps, with my continual wear and then daily rubbing off of this very hard to remove waterproof mascara, I am damaging my eyelashes and making them dry and brittle and hence they are protesting by kamikaze-ing.
See, when I used to apply mascara, my eyelashes would end up looking like fake lashes, all nice and long and the same length. Now, for the past... two weeks? They've gone all strange looking... where it looks like I've taken the scissors to small sections of my lashes and snipped them half way, so it goes left eye: fake lashes/gap/fake lashes, and right eye: fake lashes/fake lashes/gap.
This is not a good look. I mean, at least they could have snapped off symmetrically. How inconsiderate.
Now I know eyelashes have a short lifespan (I read it somewhere) and so it is normal to lose lashes (was it an 80 day life cycle?!) so I'm hoping I am just being paranoid and it just so coincidently happened that the lashes that dropped off due to old age were living next to each other. In which case, I should be okay. But if my lashes are really suffering from too much mascara, then perhaps I need to maybe consider thinking about not using mascara for a while.
Well that was hard to say.

So tomorrow starts my mascara free week. I'm hoping I can last a week. Scratch that, I'm hoping I have enough willpower/courage/self control to not apply any mascara in the morning.

I'm scared. Someone hold my hand.

Rumpy Pumpy

2006-05-25T18:54:00.000+10:00

I have been putting on weight lately, I have been weighing a whopping 52-53kg in the MORNING, when I weigh myself (yes I weight myself morning and night and stare at my naked body in the and squeeze and prod and try to make cleavage) and I sport this disgusting flabby huge belly that starts from right under the miserable tiny things that call themselves my boobs, and so I look pregnant. Which I'm not, just to clarify.
I USED to wake up weighing 50kg, with a stomach as flat as.. well.. my boobs (ha), or an ironing board, with those bones near my hips kind of protruding (not in an anorexic way) and I used to go to bed weighing 52kg from the day's eating.

But now, I am permanently at my ballooningest height of my weight, and you all know how I hate balloons right? Well er, if you don't know, I have a massive balloon phobia, that was worsened one day at work where I was tortured with balloons in a confined space where I was seated and not able to move or make a sound and it went for a while day and I ended up suffering such anxiety over it, I produced a few tears. So now I break into hot cold flushes when I see balloons. Why am I such a freakin' weirdo??

Anyway, back to my weight issue. I am hoping the pounds will come off after my monthly blood ritual, which should be arriving soon.. aaaany minute now...

Wait a second, I just looked back at my title and realised I haven't even touched the topic of this post yet.
So without further ado...

So I have been craving a steak for a while, a nice tender juicy cut of steak, medium rare, which means, not really any blood but quite soft and pinky red, and very very juicy, and for you 'well done' people, you must try the a steak at medium at least - medium is cooked thoroughly, it's just not tough and chewy like a well done steak... and the meat is kind of grey inside because it's not cooked to burning/well done. Yeah I mean 'cooked to burning' like 'smells like burning', which some things do - anyway -

So a few days ago Ali and I went to Hog's Breathe and had steak and it was glorious! Tender and juicy and fatty and oh so good, mouthwatering flavour, the steak is charred on the outside and you can see the glistening juices and the fatty crust and you cut into it and you can feel the knife just slide through and the piece of meat slightly wobbles on the fork as you lift it towards your mouth and the smell just rams up your nostrils and yoru teeth sinks into it and there's no heavy chewing needed and you taste all the flavours and the soft meat and the even softer creamy fatty bits and some crunchy crust bits which seem to burst with a stronger flavour and you swallow and it leaves a lingering all engulfing steak flavour and oh my goodness my tummy just went *pang*. What the hell am I talking about again?!?!
Oh yeah.
So we went to Hog's Breathe on the Sunday, and that night, Ali gets a call from his workmate and it's off to Lone Star for more steak on the Tuesday, and I have had bad experiences there where my sister ordered medium rare and the steak came out like they had just sawed off a chunk of a cows body bit and she tried to eat it because we loathe complaining about food or returning food, but in the end, after she tried to cut off a bit but it wasn't even cutting properly because raw meat doesn't cut... it is all tough and gristly and stringy and apparently it was lukewarm and the blood was just oozing off it and finally our waitress came around and said oh my gosh that is 'bloody' not 'medium rare' and she took it back and gave us another - so technically we didn't send food back. Anyway, that night I ordered medium to be on the safe side, and it came out... ugh... they just don't do good steaks. However I can't fault their cheap Tuesday meal deal which was $22 for your choice of two of the following - an entree, a main steak, and dessert. And the main steak if you didnt get the deal was $24 something, and desserts and entrees were over $10, so I don't understand why they did that because they made a massive loss, and the desserts were HUGE, not tiny biscuits and crap, their brownie dessert (which I had) is to die for (maybe not to die for but maybe to cut my hair for - ok maybe not to cut my hair for, maybe to... pay for - yeah!), ok, the dessert was like this:
It came in a HUGE wine glass, those rounded ones that look like fish bowls, and it was warm brownie at the bottom, really rich chocolatey yummy brownie, and fudge, and then a lump of cold icecream, and a layer of cream on top, and THAT my friends, is a taste sensation, imagine... spooning this mixture into your mouth... firstly the brownie was rich like mudcake but still crumbly and had the yum texture of 'burnt' but not the taste of burning, and at the same time this warm trickle of fudge to soften and moisten the brownie and at the same time refreshing cold sweet vanilla icecream and then some soft fluffy whipped cream and BAM! You don't even mind the glace cherry they put on the top for decoration (who eats that abomination?!).
Anyway, so their steak was crap.

And today, which is a thursday!?! Wow?! This week has passed so fast and I only had a one day weekend last week so what's going on?!

Anyway, so today, Ali and I are going to go to The Black Stump to sample their cooked cow lumps and see if it is any good. I have been once before with my family (shopper dockets) and I remember it being a grey slab of thin meat and tasting bland but I was excited about the free mustard packets. Um...

Oh and you know how they break into song and dance at Lone Star? Yes well if you don't know, every hour or something, some cowboy music gets pumped and we are treated to some line dancing by the staff. Now, I have to say it was the most depressing thing I have ever seen in my life. They looked like they wanted to gouge themselves on one of the many moose head plaques that were hanging around the place with their expressions. This one girl looked so miserable, her eyes were dull and glazed, her movements were robotic and listless, and right when the music stopped, her arms just dropped to her side and she turned on her heel and made her way over to the cash register like she was wading through sludge and mindlessly pressed some buttons. I didn't even know you could dance with your shoulders slumped but boy, you learn something new every day.

So, to tie my post together, I would like to say, I have been putting on weight, perhaps due to my metabolism slowly down as I am getting old, and perhaps due to my no exercise mantra catching up to me, and perhaps because I have been eating dinner past 9pm for a year now, and perhaps because my monthlies are coming up and we all know how bloated we can get from blood wanting to 'move out' because their lease is up or whatever (um, trying to throw in a little real estate for variety), and perhaps because I have been eating whopping slabs of chunky cow parts in quick succession.

Oh and I forgot to mention I had a work farewell thing and we went to Tony Roma's just Saturday and I had the chicken which turned out to be so good - it was so soft and tender - it was like a chicken steak, and there was rice under it and it came with TWO side dishes - I went with baked potato and corn and I finished the whole lot and it was massive, oh and I slathered on all the butter I could lay my hands on (excuse me, can I have your butter? etc), onto my corn.

Ok, I think it is stack on the pounds time, as Ali has gotten off the phone with his boyfriend, Wissam. Long distance love. Aw...

Ok, BYE! :)

*plug.

Sprinkle time!

2006-05-14T17:44:00.000+10:00

Yah yah the Tiffany is the making the things to put in the holes in the ears, is good yah yah go buy! BUY! NOW!

Tell your friends, tell your mums, tell your potplants, go tell it to the mountains, and help find a home for those bleeding angels.

For more things to stick in your ear holes, go to her website:

Aurora-Nights!

Potatoes and more

2006-05-13T23:34:00.000+10:00

As per Thi's request, here is more brainless babble:

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And now for some photos.

Prize of three magic beans goes to whoever can guess what, where and why, these photos were taken.

Start guessing! Thi, I'm counting on you to know, because if you don't *shakes head* shame on you Thi, shame on you...

~~~

And now for something totally different:

Two of my favourite people, Porky and Nhu. Look at them, those silly buggers. This picture is from Nhu's 23rd birthday just earlier this year. I like this picture because the blurred yellow bits make it happy and no matter how many times I tell them to stay still for a photo or keep their eyes open, they manage to screw it all up, and most probably because they are busy laughing their heads off, because they're silly like that. And that is why they are two of my favourite people.

~~~

Well this was from aaages ago, was it the last time I was seen in a bar/club?! No hold on, we were on a 'pub crawl' in Brisbane - which I still have to blog about - I like it because it's a girls photo and we're all black and white! Oh and the wall behind us is nice too.

~~~

This photo is from Porky's 23rd birthday, just last month in a matter of fact, and this is the shot before the all girls photo... I like it because Nhu and Porky are their usual spastic selves and I am my usual waving people into a photo pose and managing to cover up my sister's face at the same time. Such talent.

Click here for all girls photo!

Every little thing... Hung up on you ooo

2006-05-13T15:47:00.000+10:00

So I was staring at my body after I had a shower today and scrutinising all my grossnesses and am now in a foul mood. Maybe foul is not the right word to describe my mood but it's definitely the right word to describe my body. I changed the blade on my razor and thought mhm, today my legs shall be smooth as silk, and yet they were all prickly like sandpaper (yes, really like sandpaper ouchy) even with a new blade, and then I was looking at my skin close up and my stupid leg hair is so freakin thick and lustrous and oh my gosh I'm getting annoyed just thinking about it and how depressing is it that my boobs are still tiny when I have been putting on weight on my stomach area and my bum ahs gone all gross and mishapen and I've got tummy flab that was never there before, I have this bit you can pull at and -

Ok I was going to post about what I have been occupied with this morning but thought, hey, I don't think people really want to read about this as much as I want to talk about it, I should pretend we are all gathered at a dinner table and should spout dinner conversation instead. So. I shall start this post again.

Hello everyone. How are you today? Good? Good. I'm well. Thanks for asking. Um, how's your food? Yeah? Good? Good. Er, ok bye.

From the sick bed.

2006-04-07T19:53:00.000+10:00

samurai pizza kat says:
i went to the doctor today and got myself certified.

For as long as it lasted... says:
that means you're crazy

samurai pizza kat says:
oh.

~~~

So apparently I cannot mix it up a bit, and I have to say it the boring way, which is I went to the doctor today and got myself a doctor's certificate.

I am having an attack of the guilts because I took yesterday off and today off, but I am feeling much better for it, being awake for only like 5 hours out of 24 is pretty darn record breaking, and seems to do wonders for my ailing immune system, the poor dear.

Dinner was rice with mushrooms and onions tonight, with some boiled prawns on the side. It was... better than bread and butter? I went grocery shopping after I saw the doctor and bought some pulpy orange juice, and some milk and some bread, only to come home to a loaf of bread, damn, wasted $2.99.

I was proud of myself for being able to get myself to the doctor's today, because I drove by myself and you all know what a head for directions I have (none at all), and try as I might, I could picture the doctor's surgery in my head, but could not picture how to get there. So I drove blindly around the area until I chanced upon it and it was pretty lucky that I looked to my right because I was about to go straight ahead because the area looked familiar but then I realised at the last minute it was like, one second away on my right. Phew. Thank god for my 20/20 vision.

Oh kay, it is time for the shower time. See yoooooo.

No, I did not fall in a hole and stay there.

2006-03-29T23:29:00.000+11:00

1. I have decided to raise my kids on Nonsense, so that their eyes will sparkle and they'll run around spouting gibberish - but happy gibberish, and if you happened to crack their heads open with a spoon you would surely find all manner of nonsensical things that weren't half useful or grounded but at least they'd be wonderfully, deliriously, happy.

2. The trip to Brisbane was peaches and cream and choc chip - a - block full of smiles, although we were rather sorry little, ragged little, dragging our feet across the Sydney floor little, sullen little, yawning little, bagragmuffins, when we arrived home. Oh the dismal, dreary weather was such a dampener, and we pined and lamented away for the sunny Brisbane weather... I even missed the stupid window contraption in our hotel room which involved a series of complicated bends to draw the blinds, in which I would always manage to cut myself, but I take comfort in the three questionable-looking scars near my wrist to remind me of fun times. (Three scars because that's how many times I drew the blinds.)

3. My 23rd birthday came and went without a whisper, although I attempted to attempt to organise things but half hearted things usually wither away before they're even a cloudy picture in your head, and I was secretly glad because lately, my own birthdays depress me, but not because it means I am old, but for secret reasons.

4. I lied about the whisper of my 23rd because I did have a family dinner, which I only found out about because Ali came in with Mum's groceries and I was doing double takes because the last time I checked out the window, I only saw my Mum getting out my of Aunt's car. Anyway, my mother walked to the calender and looked at it and said to Ali, that it was my birthday on the 23rd or something equally wrong, and there was a short kerfuffle until we got my Mum to point her finger at the right date of my birthday ("Oh really???" "Yes mum.. same day... for the past 22 years.") and then she asked if Ali was free for lunch to celebrate it, and Ali looked over and me and I shrugged and said that was the first I'd heard of it. He had work, mum clucked and frowned but it was easily fixed as it was decided we'd have dinner instead so that he could make it. Ali said dinner was fine and mum was greatly pleased. I asked if I could come too... (in my head.)

5. The other day I saw a fine pair of red heels in the window and I walked past thinking, 'My my, what a lovely pair of red heels, they would look pretty on my dancing feet, but surely they will cost a pretty penny and a penny I do not have, let alone a pretty one, and what am I talking about, we don't even use pennies, but my my, they ARE a fine pair of red heels.' And this went one for a few days until one day I thought well, it wouldn't hurt to go in and touch them, because I do like touching pretty things, and so I did, and whilst I was touching them I thought, well, there's no harm in trying them on, because I do like trying things on, and so I did and they did look nice, so I took them off and thought, well if I've done all that, I might as well turn the shoe over and look at the price and that will surely hurt me enough to put them down and forget about them, and so I did and well I never! They were full priced... at $79.95! Or was that $89.95? O course as we all know, that is an affordable shoe, being full priced, and being red and being high and being heeled. I was about to ask if I could try both shoes on but at that minute the girl behind the counter shrieked and jumped away and flapped about and there must have been a cockroach or something, but I didn't stay to find out and decided trying on the shoes could wait. It's been a few days and I think about them every day.

6. I have not forgotten to mention the weddings, and I will do a wedding post, but for now I will say that the weddings were wonderful, and it's not everyone who can say they had two weddings without a divorce in between, and that they were so fun and touching and tear jerking and melting and laughing and vomit inducing and leg shaking and friend making and sun burning and pelican looking and feet hurting and Vietnam eye opening and lobster fruit salading and bubbling and other 'ing' words and I promise all will be revealed in the wedding posts.

7. The only big stove top on our stove is broken, and as such, I cannot cook things in a pan, as the pan will not be heated thoroughly, and it is a sad day when one cannot cook dinner, because bread and butter may be fit for Madeline, and it may be fit for me, but probably not for more than a few nights in a row.

I will stop at number 7, as it is my favourite number,and I am running out of cheery things to go next to numbers.
Everything will be elaborated on in due time.
Just treat this post is like speed dating... or something.

caption 1: a kiss?
caption 2: i have pimples

*Tumbles back into hole.*

why does it feel like i've done something wrong

2006-02-25T02:29:00.000+11:00

So tomorrow night (well tonight actually) will be my first ever night out... without going home afterwards! Gosh, I'm so behind in the sleepover thing huh? So I'm worrying over things like pjs, showering in the morning before checking out, people seeing me in glasses for the first time in yeeears, and of course DIRTY HAIR!
I've decided there is only one way to combat dirty hair...
But first, you all know about my dirty hair thing right? No? Well, basically, I have to wash my hair every single day or else I get really grossed out and am convinced it weighs a kilo more because of the heaviness of the dirt/grease/whatever that is coating my hair follicles. Yes, it is true, I HAVE to wash my hair every day.
Anyway, so like I obviously, well, probably won't be doing that the morning after, sooooooo there is only one way to combat dirty hair:
Do the ghetto fabulous thing, where you scrape all your hair off your face in a pony tail, and wear hoop earrings. I will have my red nails and maybe I'll bring my sunnies for added effect and to cover up sleepy eyes and walah. I'll just look like I'm a junkie. Because yes, that is what I will look like because I have not washed my hair.
Anyway, if you're confused , reminder, it's Mai's Hen's Night, tomorrow. Chilli crabs...

Edit:
And why do horny guys always come out at night in the form of msn cyber freaks?
Ok stupid question...

Is it possible to have a title longer than the actual post or is there a limited space for titles?

2006-02-19T22:17:00.000+11:00

I decided I didn't want a Hen's night...
I'm going to have a Triceratops night!!!!
Why?
Well, they're like ONLY my favourite dinosaur.

Yeah!

2006-02-06T13:34:00.000+11:00

The other day at work, my supervisor gave me a Nutella thing, you know the ones in the little plastic thing and it comes with it's own plastic that is supposed to pass as a spoon.
Yeah I LOVE those!
Nutella tastes so good in tiny portions in little tubs.

Anyway, so I have this neat little system happening at work where I do what I'm paid to do and get rewarded in all manners of chocolate and it's leading to workmates suspecting one of my supervisors of playing favourites or having a mammoth crush but I prefer to see it as it is and hey, it's just a neat little system AND we happen to get along really well.

ANYWAY, point is, I hadn't had a nutella-in-a-tiny-tub in aaages because everytime I'd see them in their eight snappable offable packs, whoever I was with (mainly my sister) would scoff at my obvious delight and say ew, they're like, soOOoo gross out dude. So I would never get them. And that leads me to the point of this post, which is that I am sitting here, eating a chocolate YoGo, which I have a massive fascination with, because when I was young, the first time I tried this highly anticipated snack that was oh so popular amongst kids who'd scoff at yoghurt - I was so disgusted by my one spoonful I gagged all over the place (didn't vomit thankfully) because it was so foul! I could not understand how kids could eat that crap that tried to pass itself off as healthy yoghurt because besides tasting so unlike chocolate, it also had this weird texture like plastic... melted plastic, and it was soo gross! My sister on the other hand didn't mind it at all and probably finished mine with great gusto.

So years later, the sadistic part of me decided to but more YoGo to see if it was really as bad as I'd remember. It was. And yet, later still I bought more, until finally, I developed a tolerance for the stuff and even began to enjoy the grossoutness of the snack, revelling in the smacky plasticy gluey 'shomp' feeling between my teeth whenever I bit into it (yes I chew my Yogo), anyway!

So I am sitting here eating my YoGo and it is giving me great satisfaction.

Oh and yesterday I spent an hour at IGA (local supermarket) because I was all alone and could wander up and down all the aisles twice (some three times) and read all the labels on jars of sun-dried tomatoes and there was noone stop me or hurry me.

Yeah!

Teehee

2006-01-08T22:13:00.000+11:00

Today Ali and I had pho at Pho Anh and this waiter said something to me in Vietnamese and smiled and looked at Ali. I said I wasn't Vietnamese, so the waiter smiled again, pointed at Ali and said "Handsome!" I laughed and Ali had a funny look on his red face.

We Need A Resolution

2006-01-06T22:57:00.000+11:00

I feel like I haven't blogged in a while and am having an attack of the guilts... because when I'm 60 and want to know what I did when I was almost 23, there will be a big blank because I haven't posted in oh... a few days?

My new year's resolution is to grow boobs. *Squeezes eyes shut tightly and wishes with all her might* I reckon this is the year. Yep, I just have the feeling, that this is the year my boobs are going to balloon into stupendous, shimmering, happy A-cups, because hey, I'm not a greedy girl, and A-cups will do me just fine thank you. I don't want bazookas or jugs, I just want um.. V cans? (Trying to come up with something that relates to jugs... as in a jug of drink so like.. a v can is smaller than a jug geddit?)
Yeah, so like, I'm feeling lucky, feeling tingly (in the chest area hopefully), and maybe one of these days I'll wake up with some knockers to call my own. Oh what joy that will bring me! I can imagine rainbows positively pouring out of the gaps between my teeth because I'll be smiling like I was plastered or something, and I'll be polluting the world with my cleavage mwahaha.
The words 'my' and 'cleavage' just can't be in the same sentence when I'm typing, that just felt wrong.
Anyway, if my boobs grow this year, I promise to be all that I can be, next year. Even if that just means a donut decorator (secret newest dream job that's not secret anymore).

Money Bags

2006-01-01T03:40:00.000+11:00

It's a few hours into the new year and I'm feeling bleurgh... and my ear piercing holes are really blocked... will have to force them open again tomorrow... I wonder if it's bad luck to start the new year with blocked ear holes. Yeah I'm allowed to talk all superstitious because I'm Chinese.

Chinese bangs

2005-12-28T23:01:00.000+11:00

Today I went to get my haircut, as it was trailing along the ground when I walked and dipping into the toilet bowl when I - well you get the picture. Well actually, I lied incredibly, as my hair did not do the aforementioned, however, it was quite long, nearing my shapely buttocks no less...
So I booked an appointment yesterday with my cousin and I am now in possession of a fresh new do. Something that you have never seen on me in oh, like TEN YEARS!!!
Wait, let me calculate, hm... OH! I mean in THIRTEEN YEARS!!!
Yes, that's right folks.......... I am now sporting a bowl cut.

Kidding.

(PHEW)

Actually, I just have layers again, and the longest part of my hair is below my armpits, and the only real change is that I have a fringe that is ABOVE my eye. My cousin kept telling me I looked like I was about to cry. Yeah...
It's a short fringe... and I should have listened to myself, because it wasn't that short, it was a below my eye fringe, and then my cousin says that it would look better shorter, just a bit shorter, and Olivia agreed with him, and me being the pushover that I am reluctantly gave the okay, and with a snippity snip, my fringe now rest on my eyebrow...
I am concentrating on thinking about the fact that hair grows, and my hair grows pretty fast and my fringe from last time I cut it grew out REALLY fast, so this one should be at a reasonable length soon (pleasegod).
All in all though, I am happy with my haircut because I was really wanting to get it cut but hadn't had time and er... I guess the fringe is something different. I'm so brave. *High fives self*

Moving on, back at Bankstown whilst waiting for Dad to pick us up, we went into Artbox, that little Korean franchise that sells Sanrio things and hair ties and stuff, and whilst browsing, we couldn't help but overhear the two counter girls talking to an old man who was singing something in Korean, and the girls were singing along. When we went to pay for out things, just before we left, the counter girl asked if we were Chinese. Olivia says yes, counter girl exclaims to old asian man that we were Chinese and it turns out old asian man is Chinese because he turns to us and says oh you're Chinese, in Mandarin. Olivia and I say 'yes we are, Cantonese', in English. He starts talking in Mandarin. Olivia says er... we're Cantonese. They have like a 1 second convo which involved Olivia saying no we're Cantonese not Mandarin. So I tell the old man no, we speak Cantonese, not Mandarin. But in Mandarin so he understands, he then says OH! But disregards that and keeps talking in Mandarin, and I'm talking to him in Mandarin telling him no no, we speak CANTONESE, not Mandarin, but I guess that might sound confusing when I'm telling him this in Mandarin. Anyway, he finally gets it and tells the Korean girls that we are Cantonese not Mandarin, so it's all sorted out and we're about to leave when the counter girl tells us to wait and asks me to ask the old man why he came to Australia. I'm like er... ok, so I ask the old man in Mandarin, and he replies and I translate, and then follows a conversation where I act as a translator only I'm trying to also communicate the fact that I'm NOT Mandarin and I guess that comes through when I have problems translating what the old man says coz I don't have an extensive Mandarin vocab when they're using technical terms and big words and crap. Old man says something about my Chinese. I didn't understand it, but it didn't look/sound like he was dissing my Mandarin, so I'm going to pretend he said my Mandarin was good for a Cantonese, born here.Counter girl finally says oh, Cantonese/Mandarin is different, I'm like YEEEAH... and took the opportunity to wave goodbye to them all and leave. Oh and I was getting all confused with my translating because I started speaking Mandarin to the Korean girls and English to the old man. Eh.
I was happy because I got to practise my Chinese, and earlier that day we had Happy Cup and there were little Chinese brainteaser thingoes on the cups so I was trying to read them and managed reasonably well.

Dad was pissed off because we took so long.

Titbit

2005-12-17T23:10:00.000+11:00

We've been christmas decorating our office area at work, and everyone is finished but I'm still going, partly because I like decorating and partly because I have to be doing something with my hands whilst I'm on the phone or I will go crazy from boredom/fall asleep. One of these decorating things involve colouring in 'socks'. which are just an outline of a sock on A4 paper, and we decorate. Anyway, my socks are hardly ever christmas themed and I've done about 10 (I exaggerate of course, maybe 7) and today my team leader commented on how all my socks have something sad on them. Even though the overall look of the sock is happy/lala/cartoon/floaty/weird/colourful. Anyway, I realised he was right, but the sock I was working on when he said it still turned out sad.

Bleurgh..

2005-12-17T23:01:00.000+11:00

I just ate two _______ which I can't say in english because it's viet and I don't know how to spell it. But you say it like .... 'ngoi goon'.. anyway, it's vermicelli and prawn and mint leaves and lettuce wrapped in rice paper, and dipped in either hoi sin sauce or fish sauce. Tonight it was fish sauce. There were only two left though.
I had a tummy ache, but I wasn't in an eating mood at all. But then I ate when I got home and my tummy ache isn't as bad so I guess they were hunger pangs. *Sigh*
My hair is dirty, I feel fat, I feel bloated, I feel yuck, I feel dejected, I feel gross, I feel low, I feel unhappy.
But I don't feel like chocolate. I don't feel like comfort eating. Well, that's a step... forward? Think I'll give myself a mask, and maybe just have an early night. Don't want to scribble incase I write bad things. Not in the mood to draw, not in the mood to read. Even Narnia can't tempt me. (I splurged on all the Narnia books in one huge book for myself as a present.) I have pimples and I don't like myself much sometimes. Sometimes is a lot of times.

Would I get stung or ray-ed?

2005-12-06T20:01:00.000+11:00

Dangerous Version
On Monday, Ali and I risked sun cancer by snorkelling in the extremely harsh Australian heat. We went to Wottomolla or however you spell it, and snorkelled in the questionable waters of the lagoon. On the walk there we were startled by many lizards that were perched on rocks, staring at us with their evil eyes and lashing tails and sharp claws and monster teeth. Butterflies zoomed around as we walked on the rickety wooden steps and planks, we could hear screaming below us getting nearer. We peered over the edge, risking the wood breaking and us falling down of course, and saw some old men chucking kids violently into the lagoon. Over and over again. There were sharp objects in the sand, and the sand itself was so hot, it burnt our feet. When we were int the water, we watched as some hooligans jumped off the cliff face into the shallow water below, we didn't stay to see if they cracked their heads open. Wearing no safely gear, if we had suddenly cramped up in the water, we would have surely drowned, as noone would have heard our cries for help with the snorkelling gear masking any noises we could possibly make. Who knows what could be in the dark depths of the lagoon water. The deep ends were so cold, my legs were all prickly, and I could not see anything. Periodically, water would seep into my mask, filling my nostrils, and in a state of panic I lay back in the water and breathed in, only to get a mouthful of lagoon water which I promptly swallowed, choked on, and spluttering, tried to clean my mask at the same time as trying to keep afloat. My fingers turned purple because they were so numb from the cold. When we got to Shell harbour, after getting lost with almost no petrol in the unfriendly Wollongong area, the water was twice as cold, and added to this, the rocks were covered in clams and seaweed and moss, so there were times when I thought, if I slipped and cracked my head and lost consciousness and slipped under the water, I would surely get eaten by... clams... and noone would know where I was and there'd be search parties and they wouldn't find anything because who would think to look for me in Shell harbour? And they would only find me when my half eaten, bloated, blue body was washed ashore somewhere. I almost stepped on a stingray, it was a big one, and it angrily swam away, if it had stung me... I dare not imagine. Back at Ali's house, my skin had taken on a red sheen, and it was painful.

Comedy Version
On Monday, Ali and I went snorkelling. After looking for a snorkelling set and some goggles for me at Rebel sport in Yagoona, where there was a lot of choice - "So... which frames suit my face shape?" we decided on these geeky snorkels and a pair of pink goggles incase I ever decided to go swimming. Ali looks at basketballs and I hand one to him because I think it looks funny, being all shiny and glittering, and he promptly drops it on my foot.
On the drive to the lagoon, Ali got his thrills by speeding around corners and things in his Clio, but he noticed this courier van thingo was keeping up with him, so he tried to lose him but the courier guy kept up! It was very impressive and we giggled as we watched the courier van zip around at frightening speeds. He eventually overtook us and this slow car in front of us and in 2 seconds he was GONE. We figured he just HAD to deliver a package.
At the lagoon, we put sunscreen on eachother's back, Ali affectionately calling me a chicken, because I was so white, and skinny and prickly skinned and goose bumped. Getting in the water took a while for me because I was shivering so much, and it sucked when I realised that despite shaving just like an hour earlier, my legs were all prickly because my hairs were standing on end. Ali calls them cheesegraters.
Ali kept making me laugh by bumping into me whilst I was concentrating on snorkelling and I would always crack a smile which meant water would leak into my mouth and then somehow water would get into my eye/nose area and I'd have to come up and try and empty out the water. Which was fine except for when I was in deeper parts where I couldn't stand and had to try and flounder around and float without my hands because I'd be trying to empty out the water. At one point I tried to be smart by leaning back and floating on my back but just as Ali said "Don't lie back!" I gulped a huge mouthful of water and promptly swallowed it, (because I leant back and the snorkel breathing bit went under) it was pretty gross.
Sometimes when I would clutch onto Ali like a koala so I could empt out the water and he would have to try and balance with me there. He made me try on his flippers which were so big on me, they hindered my swimming abilities, because I was trying to keep them on and when I paddled, they went in all directions.
We would look at eachother with our snorkel sets on, and sometimes bump snorkel sets, this always made me laugh again and I would take in more water. Ali tried to give me a kiss, which equalled snorkels bumping idiotically, me laughing again, and swallowing yet more water.
Ali kept paddling in front of me and I don't think he realised, but because he was wearing flippers, he just kept splashing me and disturbing the sand in front of me so I wouldn't be able to see anything.
He also farted in the water to giggle at the bubbles.
At Shell harbour I was soooo cold I didn't want to go into the water but evetually did, and there were some people there who kind of were laughing at me because I was all goosebumpy and shivering. Giggled at the stingrays, but none of them swam upside down so I didn't get to see their smiley faces. Almost stepped on one, oops, I later asked Ali what would have happened if I HAD stepped on it... would I get stung or ray-ed? He didn't know, so he said we'd have to try next time.
Back at Ali's house, his mum said I positively glowed, like a beacon, with my bright red face. I have a mega swimming costume tan.

To The Point Version
On Monday, Ali and I went snorkelling. It was fun. Bye.

Romantic Version
On Monday, Ali called me in the morning and asked if I wanted to go snorkelling, so off we went. It was a bright sunny day, perfect weather, and the lagoon was so pretty. We passed by a butterfly and I was all jittery, Ali put on his 'manly' voice and announced "Don't worry Kat, I'll protect you from the butterfly." There was some filming going on in one section of the lagoon, and it involved some people chucking a little kid into the water over and over again, with the director shouting "Smile! Smile! Happy!!!" The sand was hot and we ouched our way across til we found a shady spot to park out things. Ali taught me how to use the snorkel "Just breathe." and had to put the snorkel on for me because I couldn't get it on my head. Under the water, Ali pointed out the fish for me, which was sweet, only they were like two centimetres away from my face so how blind did he think I was? It was funny though, when he'd come and lead me away by hand underwater and point out more fish. I stayed in the shallow water mostly, until Ali held my hand and led me to the deeper waters to show me different fish, there were these little midget fish and puffer fish and tree trunks, and I gulped some water there which made me gag, but other than that I was fine. He had the advantage of flippers so he would wrap and arm around my waist and then paddle off, all I had to do was do superman poses or pur my hands together like I was diving, or like the mast of a ship and we'd zoom to wherever he paddled us to.
I sang "Little fishies swimming in the water..." over and over again underwater, it sounded good, but I don't think the fish appreciated it. When I didn't feel like floating, I would wrap my legs around Ali like a koala. We talked to eachother with our snorkels on so we couldn't understand eachother at all. He actually took his mouth piece out so he could make me understand him, I chose to keep my mouthpiece in at times, just to practise my underwater breathing. When we 'kissed' our snorkels made cracking sounds.
On the drive home, I fell asleep, long drives and swimming take their toll, but it was fun. Back at Ali's we both had a shower (separately, sheesh) and then went to see The Brothers Grimm, where I jumped in a few parts and clutched Ali's arm, even though the movie was stupid and didn't make sense and is crap so don't watch it. It was a fun day.

Fat Kat

2005-11-25T00:14:00.000+11:00

I am officially gaining weight.
I am weighing in at a mammoth 53 1/2 kilos right now.
And my stomach is protruding from my body about five times more than my boobs do.

Yes, I am no longer the rail thin Kat of the 50 kilograms that you may have known and loved. I am now Kat the Fat Blob, who is a fat blob.

I had my suspicions a while ago, when all of a sudden I was feeling all fat and my clothes were uncomfortable and I couldn't throw on things in the morning anymore, instead I was changing outfits until I could find something comfortable and didn't make me feel constricted.

I have stopped wearing some of my clothes because they feel tight.

I popped a button in my jeans the other day at work, and I wasn't even bending over or anything, (granted I bought the jeans one size too small and they were always pretty tight around the top area) BUT, the button popped... it didn't pop off and like, blind anyone or anything, it just came undone, and then I had to try and discreetly do it back up and then on the train home that night, I had to undo that button because I was getting stomach pains because my stomach was all squished funny and hanging all over my jeans.

Another day I got some clothes back form the wash and I systematically tried them all on and found out that my baggy grey pants actually FIT around my waist now, and that the rest of the tops all felt like they'd shrunk. My belly was visible, the underarm areas were really tight, it felt weird. Ok, so I'm pretty sure the clothes had all shrunk a bit in the wash (not the first time this has happened, damned retarded parents who wash clothes) but that did not aid in my gaining weight suspicions.

I have been checking out my stomach in the mornings and I now have a belly in the mornings. I used to have a concave stomach in the mornings. I used to look at my stomach and go, wow, I AM skinny...
Now that I have a belly in the mornings, I say wow, I'm a fatty boomba.

And ok, so periods usually means bloated stomachs, but come on, this is ridiculous! My BOOBS even feel bigger! And you know that's something major if I can say my boobs look bigger. I can actually see a slight shadow underneath, and I can actually cup my boobs. The world has turned upside down, I know.

So tonight, I decided to do a spot of late night shopping because I haven't been shopping since I started working and that was like over three months ago, and I am seriously running out of clothes to wear, with my weight gain and clothes shrinking and disappearing and stuff, so I went and you know what happened?!?!?!
I went and tried on like, 10 tops, and didn't end up with anything.
And you know WHY?! That's right! Because I was so fat, I looked rather grotesque in the tops.
Ok, so it was actually only 3 different styles of tops, and the rest were just different colours, BUT the point is, I looked so gross in them... you could see my bulging stomach popping out and my miniscule boobs were sadly too small to detract attention from my big fat belly. And the worst thing was, I KNOW that store has slimming mirrors, and I can also tell because my face shape looks slimmer as well, so they are slimming mirrors and if I looked fat in them, I can't imagine what I would look like in real life... well actually I can; whale like.

Anyway, I was so miserable, that I went into an earring shop and came out with $35 worth of earrings which after looking at when I came home, I'm like what the?!?! And on the way to the train station I was so miserable I got myself some yoghurt icecream from that Australian Icecream place which is the yummiest ever, and the yoghurt flavour is to get fat for, and then I got a sushi roll as well and the point is, I needed to buy more clothes but didn't get any but spent $35 on stupid earrings and then went and got some icecream even though I'm getting fat!

No pictures please.

Pain in the front bum.

2005-11-25T00:02:00.000+11:00

It pains me greatly to say, that I am in pain, from getting my period, pain, oh the pain, period pain, pain, periods, periods, pain, periods, pain.
And that shall conclude my period post for this month.

Still hungry

2005-11-23T22:35:00.000+11:00

So I'm looking up pictures of worms... and remembering how I used to play with earthworms when I was little, and decided I'd share what I found.

This is a link incase you're not a worm fan.

And this picture makes me want to be part of a worm family too. I want to be the tree.

This is my bimbo sister who didn't realise I was talking a picture of her, even though I had the camera in front of her bimbo head. Hence, the bimbo look. And yes, that is me next to her, my aim was totally off.
And no, this picture did not come up when I googled 'worms'.

Anyway. I'm really hungry. Think I'll go upstairs and cry.

puke

2005-11-23T21:23:00.000+11:00

Ugh. I KNEW I should've gotten some food on the way home...
I have a bowl of rice in front of me right now, which is sitting there, in all it's disgusting glory... I'm eating left over food from last night and apparently 'fresh' rice, but I just cannot stomach it. The rice is all hard and dry and gross and the food is purple, and tastes foul. Um... what the?!
Anyway, I tried 3 spoonfuls and it's just too gross. DAMMIT! I should have gotten some food! Now I'm just going to have to starve. I have to figure out how to chuck out this bowl of rice without it resulting in a screaming match with my mum. Hm, bin is outside, mum is outside. What to do, what to do...

Upside: I got to go home early today, because the dialler was stuffed up, yessss... good day today.
Downside: Ali chucked a sickie because he is going to The Strokes concert with Julia, so I can't see him anyway. Poo.

Upside: I went to a Korean grocery store in Lidcombe and got myself a Hello Kitty 'purse' filled with 'mystery' things, yessss...
Downside: There is no food at home.

Upside: Hello Kitty thing is really cute and when I opened it there was a Hello Kitty sticker (awesome), and some packets of lollies, 3 packets look like ecstacy pills (well, not really) and 5 packets are big square lumps and I don't know whether it's a lolly or gum or a big square lump.
Downside: I bought other things but Olivia isn't even home so I have noone to share my cheap thrills with.

*sniff*
Feelling lonely.
~~

Ok I just ran outside when the coast was clear and chucked my bowl of rice into the bin... only problem was, they had just emptied the bin so it was a fresh plastic bag and so all you can see is a whole bunch of rice, er... nothing suss...

*sigh*

I'm hungry. :(

Of pretty girls, and not so pretty girls.

2005-11-19T12:04:00.000+11:00

Decided to put up pictures I stole from Kieu's site. Kieu! Where are the rest of them?!
Well, here are the ones so far.

Yes that's right - MORE PICTURES!

I seem to be on a picture uploading craze.

Here are some teasers:

A-duhhh says Kat..

And some pretty girls Sally and Kieu to make up for the last teaser pic.

Eggs.

2005-11-17T22:53:00.000+11:00

I just finished my dinner. For the past two nights I have eaten at home, not out of choice, but because Ali is away at the Hospital Olympics, I have had to come home to eat what my mum has cooked...............
So last night she made - get this - CONGEE for dinner. As you should all know, congee is a pinch of rice that has been cooked with about a pool full of water, so that it is mostly all water. And no, it is NOT filling. It just makes you pee like a fountain. But oh no, she wasn't going to let us go and eat plain tasteless congee, she went all out and cooked some spinach (dump in a pan and let it wilt) and even opened a can of asian sardines.... (salty oily fish in with blackbean stuff) and some left over fried rice.
So I went and fried myself some eggs to eat with the rice and the spinach and it was very unsatisfying and gross.
And then Dad finds out that the sardines are actually banned in the UK, Canada and Hong Kong and they're getting banned here, because something about the stuff they feed the fish is poisonous. Great.

Then tonight I come home to a tiny piece of cooked fish and more spinach.
So I just made myself some eggs and salad and toast, whilst my mum was like "Aren't you going to eat what I cooked?!" I'm like, hello?!?! There's not enough there to feed a rat let alone four people?!
Anyway, Dad made me fry a few more eggs for my sister, because there WASN'T enough, stupid mum... She always undercooks.

Well I cracked open my NEW bottle of Italian dressing and poured HEAPS onto my salad, and it was tasty, but am now feeling a bit ugh so maybe that was a bit too much dressing.

Ali will be back tomorrow night so I will get fed mmmmm, he messaged me today on his Hospital Olympic progress...

"I already have grazes and scratches on my knees... But my soul is not yet broken"

My parents are arguing outside again, well actually Mum is being a bitch as usual and talking CRAP and asking dad questions that he tries to asnwer but she won't let him get a word in and then she totally disregards what he says anyway and Dad is getting super frustrated and raising his voice and mum is still going on and being a bitch and she is such a bitch arrrrrrgh!!!

I hate being at home.

~~~

Ali is so cute here, waiting to eat his seafood platter (that I completely peeled for him)

More pictures.

Of moving organs

2005-11-15T01:37:00.000+11:00

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS FECAL REFERENCES.

So tonight I was over at Ali's house, and we were settling down to watch a dvd called "The Lost Boys." But that's not what this post is about. This post is about my organs.
Yes yes, I know this post is starting off weird sounding but bear with me okay. It will get... er... weirder I suppose.

So we are in his room and normally we lie down to watch dvd's so all the pictures are sideways, but tonight, after the dvd kept freezing on the television, we decided to watch it on the computer where it wouldn't freeze.
As the computer is not next to the bed like the tv is, we had to sit up to watch the dvd on the computer. Are you following so far? Hope so.
Anyway, Ali lay down still, to watch it, whilst I sat up, back against the wall, with my knees up in a slouchy manner.
So I am sitting like that for two hours and when the movie finished, I get up, only to feel sharp pains in my stomach/chest area. I'm like "Ow?!" And I feel just under my mini boobs, where my chest is all puffed up, and I just know that my stomach has been pushed up from me sitting all scrunched up like that. I figured, because I was sitting all hunched up, I squished my tummy upwards towards my chest, and sure enough, I felt where my stomahc should be and it was flat there, whilst my chest area felt really tight and full. I tell Ali who think's I'm crazy. I go pee. Check out my stomach in the mirror and lo and behold, I am right, because right above my crotch area, where normally, my stomach protrudes after I've eaten a big meal, so I look like a little pregnant flat chested girl/boy, instead, it was FLAT, and suddenly bulged out right up to my chest area.
I hope this makes sense...
Anyway, I go back and show Ali, triumphantly, even though I am almost doubling up in pain... Ali laughs about my fat tummy and only half listens so I am frustrated because I know he doesn't believe me.
He takes me home. Where I charge upstairs and show my sister and she looks at my stomach and says ewwww that looks so weeeeeird, and tells me I need to do a poo maybe.
I'm like noooo this is not a I'm so full I need to do a poo pain, this is a oh my gosh my stomach is pushed all the way up into the wrong place pain. She says it looks really strange how it's super flat where my tummy should be and all bulgy under my boobs. She tells me to do a poo again. I say fine, I'll do a poo, gosh.
I try to do a poo, doesn't happen. I just sit there and wince in pain.
I give up and go get ready for bed. It hurts to bend over to brush my teeth.
I go into my room where I take off my pants so I'm just in my undies and look at my weirdly shaped stomach area. It is painful. I stand there for a while and think gosh, when will this go away?! When suddenly I feel better! I don't feel any pain, and I just feel full. I look at the mirror again and realise that the flat area is no longer fat, it has filled up, I turn to the side and look in the mirror and yesssss my stomach is back, where it should be. I again look like I have a pot belly and there is no sign of the flat bit.
I run outside to show Olivia, who says ewwwwwww that is sooo weird!!! She also said I look like a toddler... as in, how toddlers have huge bellies. Yeah.
Then I rang Ali to tell him and he was like wow you're weird.

Anyway, moral of the story:
Kat is not crazy and never sit slouched because it pushes your organs into the wrong places!

WHAT DO YOU PLEAD?!

2005-11-14T16:21:00.000+11:00

So last Monday I went in to do my bit for our justice system and our community. That's right, I had dm dm dmmm - Jury Duty!

See, about two months ago, I recieved a letter from the Sheriff's Office.
A few thoughts ran threw my head:

1. Huh? Is this a joke?!
2. We have a sheriff?!
3. I have a letter from America?!
4. I'm going to jail?!
5. Star spurs on boots.. cool...

I opened it to read a slightly confusing Jury Summons, which said I was to be prepared to be called in to do Jury Duty anywhere between Oct 05 and Sept 06. Sheesh. And it said Criminal Jurisdiction on it and I was to be at the Liverpool St Court in the City if I was to be called in.
And at the back it had an application to be excused from Jury Duty if you had the following reasons:
Blah blah blah. Basically, I could not get out of it. Crap.
I showed my Dad, who told me yeah, he's been called in a few times but has gotten challenged and if you get challenged three times you never get called in ever again. I didn't know what he was going on about.

I figured, oh.... I'll never get picked (crosses fingers, toes and eyes)... but boy was I wrong, because when the next month rolled around - BAM! And by George, and would you believe it, and well I never, and who would have thought, and Bob's your Uncle, and something about a horse's mouth and takes one to know one and all's well that ends well and looks like rain...
Yeah. I got a Jury Summons. And THIS is the one you don't want to get because it says you have to go there and if you don't you get fined $2200. Wowsers.
I was on the G panel. And I was to ring up the Sheriff's Office a day before I was due to be in court to listen to a recording that would let me know if I was still required. If I was then I'd go in, if I wasn't, I'd have to call the next day to see if I was required. Gosh.

So that monday comes around, and I am there at 9am. Actually I was a little late because I walked past the place and I was reading the street signs and numbers and was getting nowhere and finally I stopped this guy who had earphones on. Actually, he tried to get away from me because he thought I was just standing in the middle of the footpath staring at him out of, what? Anyway, he sidestepped so I had to sidestep into his path and wave at him and wiggle my eyebrows in a "I need to ask you a question" way, not a "Hey there fly boy" way.

So he takes his headphones off, I ask him if he knew where the court on Liverpool st was. He said, oh, it's that big one on the corner right there. I look. Don't look like I get it.
He said, "See that big one on the corner, that big old building with the bright yellow things all over it with "COURT WHATEVER IT'S CALLED" in size 100000 plastered on the front of it, that stands out from all the buildings around it, you stupid blind retarded asian girl."
Well he didn't say that last bit but I'm sure he was thinking it, because it couldn't have been more obvious. I thanked him and trundled off.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Ali's B'day Day!

2005-11-13T04:39:00.000+11:00

Ali

I blogged about it, but the photos were with Ali so I couldn't post them, but here they are now!

CLICK CLICK!

Kat and Ali

Don't bother with this one.

2005-11-13T03:12:00.000+11:00

One morning I clipped up my hair to work after washing it and not thoroughly drying it and did not unclip it til I got home late that night which resulted in wavy hair for about 3 seconds before it straightened again.
Have decided (again) that I want wavy hair.

Olivia took some pics before they fell down. Er, excuse the fact that I look retarded.

Angel

MORE CAT PICTURES!

Am currently chewing on a stale bread roll which I have slathered in philadelphia dip. It's not very nice. But it's comforting.

Misc Photos

2005-11-02T23:31:00.000+11:00

Remember when we went to Korean bbq aaaages ago..? I think it was supposed to be a Valentines day reunion but with add-ons. Anyway, I remember I wasn't with Ali yet.. not officially yet. Oooh... so long ago!!
I remember Thi and I making everyone try intestines... and Nim refused to admit he liked it the last time he tried it, instead, he copped out with a "It's not great..." or something like that, because all the other guys were going "EW."
Ali was a good sport and tried it a few times, but did not like it, but ate it anyway, aw how sweet.. and Sally was out most enthusiastic intestine eater, she embraced it, and although she thought it wasn't that great, she went on to try kidney and tripe and liver and all that and liked it! Girl power! Aha.

Afterwards, Nim, Ali and I went to Titanic in Bankstown where the boys smoked a narghile with flavoured tobacco... I cann't remember what flavour they chose, was it rose...? Anyway, I coughed my lungs out and occupied myself by taking photos. Ali ordered Lebanese sweets to munch on but I didn't like them much..

Click for photos!

Pictures as promised

2005-10-31T04:15:00.000+11:00

Click for pics!

Girls Night Out

2005-10-30T03:56:00.000+11:00

More to come...

Ali's 23rd Birthday Pictures!

2005-10-27T02:02:00.000+10:00

Ali Parly Pudding and Pie turned 23 not too long ago, and on the Sunday after his birthday had passed, we went to Ice and Slice for a little luncheon party...

It was swelteringly hot, and we got a park right in front of Ice and Slice - which is not an easy thing to get! So it must have been Ali's day.

I'll let the photos do the talking, although we have no photos of the many different pizzas, I think everyone enjoyed themselves and their pizzas...

Oh, and the next day, Ali and I went back to Ice and Slice and the waitress was like "Still not sick of it?" because she recognised us, and Ali sheepishly said "Yeah we actually tried to find somewhere else to eat, walked up and down..." But we ended up back there anyway.

Happy Birthday, my favourite Ali-bear in the whole wide world. :)

Click for photos!

My poor nerves...

2005-10-24T18:12:00.000+10:00

Boo!
Yes yes, I haven't blogged for a while... with good reason!
Check this out:
*opens mouth really wide and taps on tooth*
Do you see that?! Mhm! I got my tooth fixed!

So you see, this is my tooth story... which I am going to narrate in a fairytale sort of way to make it more interesting;

So once upon a time, a few weeks ago, there lived a rabbit, in a pumpkin house.
Her name was Kat. So Kat the rabbit was a pretty funky rabbit, with two big rabbit teeth which she used to crunch carrots.

One day, she found that one of her teeth felt slightly sensitive... she ignored it, but as the weeks went on, the pain became worse, and so she frolicked down to the local chemist and bought herself a cauldron of Sensodyne, which she used to no avail. The pain became so unbearable, she took to taking painkillers, and as Kat was an extremely anti-drug rabbit, this was pretty extreme pain. So much so that the pain became so great, it felt like a there was a band of rabbit-tooth-torturing-ruffians hiding in her gums, twisting and wrenching her tooth this way and that, until it was not just the tooth that hurt with the slightest touch, the whole gum and her whole jaw ached, even the muscles, until it was so unbearable, she could not sleep a wink and instead, writhed about like a lizard who'd had it's eyeballs scooped out and it's arms and legs and tongue sawn off.
Finally, Kat the Rabbit could not stand it anymore, and she packed her mobile and wallet in a hankerchief tied to the end of a stick, and went to see the witch doctor who lived in a far away land called Cabramatta.

"Well well well", said the witch doctor, "Well well well well well..."
The male witch doctor took a few xrays and poked and prodded but could find nothing wrong with the bothersome tooth. He asked Kat the Rabbit all sorts of revealing questions like "Been clubbing lately...? Not enough sleep? Stressed out? Been in a fight?" As stress and not enough sleep can cause tooth ache, and so can being in punch ups. Kat assured the dentist she was a home-rabbit, and she was only ever involved in hair pulling, eye scratching, rabbit rumbles, never punching kinds, so that did not solve anything.
The witch doctor was puzzled, showed Kat where her earrings were in the xrays...

"Look, there's your earrings, my, what big ears you have..."
"All the better to hear you with, neehhh, what's up, doc?"

...and diagnosed Kat with perhaps stress/lack of sleep/wisdom tooth pushing and differing pain/something wrong with the nerve of the sensitive tooth.
Kat the Rabbit ended up leaving there with the instructions to come back if the tooth did not stop hurting after two weeks and that he'd try and find something wrong with it again.

Kat the Rabbit agonised for two more days and on the third, went to consult a different witch doctor.
This rather enthusiastic witch doctor tapped away at the tooth and umm-ed and ahh-ed and finally ahha-ed and told Kat that she had a case of a bubble like bump on her tooth which some rabbits have, and that meant the nerve travelled up nearer to the tooth's surface than most, and sometimes a tiny chip or in Kat's case, it was spontaneous, bacteria can get into the nerve and then BAM! The nerve dies.
So, Kat was rather petrified at the thought of having to go through a root canal as that sounded rather painful, and the thought of her nerve dying in an act of self loathing (she was convinced the tooth was just fed up with living in the same mouth for 22 years), but what was there to do? It hurt too much, and was making her more miserable than a rabbit ought to be, so she clasped her hands together and prepared for the first root canal that same day...

There was a lot of whirring, and whizzing, but Kat could not feel much of this as she'd had three needles to ensure a painless operation, however her face felt like it was the size of a watermelon and trying to spit and rinse her mouth resulted in tendrils of drool to dangle lunatically out of her mouth.
The witch doctor also pointed out that mhm, yep, he had diagnosed right, as after drilling into the tooth, a NORMAL nerve would have started spurting blood everywhere, but with Kat the Rabbit's tooth, the nerve was just sitting there quietly, because it was DEAD and DECAYING.
Kat thought to herself 'Well, it had better be dead and decaying because you just drilled into my tooth and if you had drilled into a living nerve and then went oops, I guess I diagnosed wrong, your nerve was alive but as I've exposed it now, it's dead! So you still need a root canal either way!"
The witch doctor told Kat that the pain she felt was from the build up of rotting nerve and bacteria pressing on the gums and all that pus and gunk had nowhere to go being inside a tooth and all and whatnot and ladida.

That night, when the anesthetic wore off, the pain was so strong again, she had to take painkillers, but a few days later, the pain had subsided to a dull ache and she was able to eat tentatively and sleep without having to knock herself out with drugs.

Exactly a week later was root canal number two, and Kat the Rabbit decided to try and eat a chicken burger with that tooth (yes, rabbits eat chickens) the day after, but that was a bad idea as her tooth went ZIIIING! And a bolt of pain shot through her mouth and left her in pain for that whole week again, until the day before her last appointment, where it miraculously stopped hurting so badly, and Kat was convinced the tooth knew to stop playing up when she had to see a witch doctor, but her male rabbit friend assured her that was bollocks.

So, today was the last of the root canal treatments, and Kat the Rabbit hopes to live happily ever after.

The End.

My Christmas wishlist.

2005-10-11T21:15:00.000+10:00

Today I called a client who said she'd had a couple of calls already and was not interested. She was a typical slightly grumpy but otherwise civil old lady... I apologised for the repeated calls and said we wouldn't call again, and was about to say bye when she said "And another thing, please make a note in your notes... I don't want to receive anymore calls from asians." I was like "... oh... ok... bye." And hung up. After laughing and getting over being stunned, I got my team leader to listen to the call, he laughed, got another team leader to listen to it, who was wide eyed and said "How rude!" And the other team leader, who happens to be Chinese, listened and laughed and was like "Oh my gosh that's so rude.." Anyway, I thought it was really funny.. in a shocking, oh my god I sincerely hope you fall over and break your hip kind of way.

Hippy Happy Birthday Umbrellas!

2005-09-29T23:15:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was Ali's 23rd birthday! That means, 23 years ago, he popped out into this world and started ballooning into the curly locked monkey man that he is. Cool huh?
Yeah well on Sunday we went on a picnic and I had it all planned as a surprise but of course it didn't go as planned and it wasn't very surprising and it was like a 15 minute picnic because Ali found out the game was on at 3:30pm instead of at night some time. So um.. yeah...
I made a bunch of little triangles sandwiches with smoke salmon, capers, cream cheese, snow pea sprouts, chicken, sun dried tomatos, tasty cheese, mixed rocket/baby spinach/fancy lettuce, avocado, seeded mustard, tartare sauce, cucumber, normal tomato, um.. can't remember what else, and some strawberries dipped in chocolate and there was non alcoholic rose champagne and cranberry juice... and of course, umbrellas!!!!! YAY!!!!

Yay for umbrellas!

Ali haughtily sniffs his champagne "Mm.. sweet, with a woody touch and er.. good with steak?"

Ali takes a swig before spitting into the wine bucket of course..

After the picnic, after the game where the Eels lost.

Yesterday we went to eat at a Greek restaurant where I put my bag on the floor and at the end of the dinner the bottom of the bag felt greasy and they played greek music and we sang along -

"Epip-palepsy, epip-palepsy,
Epip-palepsy, epip-palepsy,
Rima rima rima rima,
It's a lover-ly guy!"

Of course that's not really what they sang, it was in Greek after all, but that's what it sounded like, it was so catchy, my feet were dancing under the table whilst we ate.
And by oppa did we eat... we were so full by the end of it, Ali had to have a Gavilast (indigestion pill) when we got back to his place haha. His mum thought it was funny.
We had grilled haloumi cheese (very very salty cheese with lemon squeezed on it), and also some bread with tzaziki or however you spell it dip... and they were those big bread rolls, and the dip was SO GARLIC-EY OH MY YUMBO, and then for mains I had lamb cutlets mmmm and Ali had calamari.

We took some photos, but they are on Ali's camera so I can't post them up.

I can't get the epip-palepsy song out of my head.

MUAH!

Stupid Asians

2005-09-24T16:26:00.000+10:00

I was on the train home from work and two annoying things happened:

1. Old asian man next to me is compliant the whole trip (by compliant I mean following train rules such as ignoring the person who is sitting next to you) but then suddenly decides to lift his butt up and let out a long, loud, wet, splattery sounding FART in MY direction. BASTARD!

2. Annoying asian teens sitting behind me are extremely loud and annoying throughout train ride and everyone is turning around to stare at them but they are not getting the 'shutup' message. I feel a soft thunk on the back of my head, obviously someone threw something and it bounced off my head. I simmer quietly whilst they laugh like they're going to wet themselves and carry on. Finally just as Ali calls, I feel my head and take off a lump of sticky tape. I turn around, still on the phone to Ali, stare at them all in my angriest way and scrunching the tape up further, I chuck it at them. Being at close range I didn't miss, and they got the message for a while because they shut up for a little bit before starting up again...

I HATE PEOPLE!!!!! ESPECIALLY OLD FARTING ASIAN MEN AND LOUD ASIAN TEENS! GR!!

AND I cut myself right near where the fingernail starts, with a book. I HATE books! GR!

GRRR!!!!

"Victor just doesn't appreciate my produce."

2005-09-19T15:12:00.000+10:00

I am so grumpy today.
I had a horrible dream last night that sucked bum nuts, so I woke up all bummed out, and then my mum tells me we are going out to eat tonight, and I already had plans but for some reason they always think it's ok to tell me things at the last minute and expect me to be free otherwise they start yelling, and I find out it's to eat steak, at some pub in Lidcombe?! I hate pubs, I feel weird in them and I never go to them, and I absolutely hate going to them with family. Just because the atmosphere is all wrong for a weirdo family gathering when we aren't exactly a close knit family. And what is with their sudden infatuation with cheap meals at pubs?! The smoke! God! I just washed my hair and now it's going to suck in all that smoke. I refuse. And this stupid bowl of noodles tastes like crap. Stupid gross out beans floating throughout with a bitter and sour and salty broth - ugh! But I was fooled by the quaint, bulky packaging. So bowl of noodles, you are forgiven, but I am not ever getting you again because your flavour is ugly. I'm so superficial. I'm so grumpy.
Sometimes when I'm down, I look at Hello Kitty things and that usually cheers me up but it's not working today, and I'm so grumpy grumpy grumpy, I haaaaate pubs, and I'm assuming it's a pub because my mum said it's a 'club' but she also says 'fish and chips and shalad' and I always say "It's SALAD!" and it's so frustrating - there is no H there!!
AND I'm sure my period is going to come... sometime this month, so I am super grumpy because I haaaate periods and I hate the periods anticipation period of 5 weeks or so, my life revolves around waiting for my period oh my lord...

Gook Jook

2005-09-13T23:11:00.000+10:00

Today I asked my mum how to make congee.
I'm not sure if you remember, but when I was sick a while ago, I attempted to make my own congee... which did not turn out too crash hot as I totally burnt the 'congee' so that it was stuck as a black hard thing to the bottom of the pot, and my sister said the house smelt like it had burnt down (of course I couldn't smell because my nose was that blocked) and it took half a year for my mum to get all the burnt stuff off the pot (teehee).
Anyway, so she taught me how to make congee... theoretically, I should be able to.. It took a while though, as I kept asking so.... how long will it take? But she kept saying, well it depends how you make it.. the ____ style or the ___ style (listing two diff chinese places). I'm like um... just tell me how long it takes to make congee sheesh?!
So finally I got it out of her, and she said yes, so that's how you make congee... why...? Are you going to make it for Ally?

And this is why I don't like talking to strangers

2005-09-09T22:03:00.000+10:00

On the train this morning on the way to work, this old lady sat down next to me, and you know how usually people just sit down and that's it. Well she sat down with a "You don't mind?" repeated a few times, and I assured her I did not mind, and then she asked what my name was and how I was today and I said Catherine, good thanks and that was to be that. Or so I thought.
She started going on, in increasingly weird spurts which were hard to hear as she went softer and softer, with emphasis on certain words, and as what was coming out of her mouth was too weird/I did not want to know about/I could hardly understand, I had to keep nodding and smiling if she smiled and look concerned if she looked concerned and pretend I was following what she was saying.
She was also too close for my comfort, invading my personal bubble, and she was a small old lady but fat, wearing a huge blue flowery old dress, and she had short spiked grey hair that looked like she had attacked it with a shaver and she had strange eyes and a black moustache. I had trouble trying to listen and stare enough to look interested but not too much to look like I was staring..

So this is what I gathered:

She was on her way to Redfern... as she wanted to get sausages and cola.. sausages sausages cola cola.. how are you today.. I like to eat sausages with pepper, a bit of pepper.. sausages.. need to get to Redfern - sing out when we get there will you.. because you fry the sausages with some pepper in a pan.. cola..

(And this is where it starts getting weird..)

Because I need to freshen up.. I shouldn't have eaten all those sausages.. that's why I have to go to Redfern.. sausages.. cola.. gives me wind.. wind wind sausages pepper cola.. need to shower.. freshen up..

(So I was thinking ew.. I so don't need to know what sausages and pepper and cola does to you?!)

See my dress.. mumblemumble mumble.. they pushed me over.. nurse put this bandage on my arm because it's sprained.. *shows me bandage thing* ..my dress.. my coat.. mumblemumble.. sausages.. wind.. pepper.. pushed me over..

(At this point I'm thinking um.. this woman is scaring me.. and I hope she doesn't ask me questions because I'm having trouble pretending I can hear everything she is saying)

I really shouldn't have eaten all those sausages with pepper, they told me not to eat anymore but I didn't listen.. coffee and cola.. coffee and cola.. coffee and cola brings back my memory.. I remember when I have coffee and cola..

Thankfully, we arrive at Redfern where she promptly jumps off but not before saying

My name's Rambling Rose, what's your name again?

Well, that explains her going on and on and on.. for me, it was an unsettling experience.
Oh, and the two old ladies behind me who were chatting loudly stopped talking when this lady sat down next to me. I think they were listening in on the conversation.

Is this a convenient time to talk at all?

2005-09-03T23:41:00.000+10:00

I was reading up on double eyelid surgery, and it's so fascinating, and I decided that if I didn't have double eyelids, I'd want to have double eyelids, but seeing as I do have double eyelids, I guess I'll just stick to wanting boobs.

Speaking of boobs, today at work I finally filled in my Christmas Wish List, you get five wishes in total, and they get delivered to Santa and hopefully we all get our wishes.

My list goes like this:

1. bigger boobs (with no pain)
2. digital camera (minimum 5 megapixels)
3. one meeelleeon dollars
4. new wardrobe
5. world peace

I copied David with the digital camera wish because we have this thing going on you see, he even bought me lunch today (a whopping $4) and they went for drinks after work last night and coincidently enough, noone from our spaceship was in today except for me and David, so I totally busted him for telling the others not to turn up so that we could have some alone time..

Kit doesn't think they can do my first wish. Kit is my team leader and he is really tall, and he called me to see if I was ok when I was sick. Becky reckons we should get together because then we'd be KitKat. I wouldn't mind being half a chocolate wafer..

Oh yeah, I've been sick, again, but I'm on the road to recovery, oh yesireebob, you see, I've been having this violent cough for a month and then had a sore throat for a few days and then BAM! I was blown over by the attack of a blocked nose and felt so ill I decided to finally take a day off work to see the doctor.. who told me to take another day off. And for those two days off, I slept like the sleeping dead. I only woke to pee, bathe, eat. So it was hardcore sleeping, and of course, I felt mucho bettero, gracias!
I'm still sick, but hopefully I won't get any worse. To be on the safe side, I've taken to wearing three layers, and so I look really frumpy and fat.

More Kat Thoughts:

* Today my pad thai was so sweet I only ate a tiny bit before I chucked it.
* I miss spinach rolls.
* I thought I was putting on weight, but I was just weighing myself late at night.
* I still want to lose weight.

My Pin Up Boy

2005-08-30T23:48:00.000+10:00

Not too long ago.. in a newspaper that you must pay for to read, on page two, appeared this:

That's right.. Ali is famous! Hehea. And it's MRI, not MIR, but they got it mixed up?

To view bigger and hence, be able to read article, click on me.

I'm going to scrapbook it :)

My pudgy, pasty, pastie man.

2005-08-20T23:48:00.000+10:00

A little while ago I told Ali that if I had a car, I'd paint it pink and draw pictures on it.
He said no.

Yesterday a client told me to be happy, have a good, safe, happy weekend, I enthusiastically told him to be happy too, we told each other to be happy, and then he said "And have lot's of children." Aw.. that's so.. sweet, I think :)
Also yesterday a different client asked me if I was American, I told him he was the second person to tell me that, the first guy told me I was Canadian... this guy then tells me yes, I sound Canadian. Curiouser and curiouser...

Oh yeah, I said I'd stick stickers on the car and doodle on it and draw Hello Kitty pictures on it. Ali reckons people would scratch my car out of spite because it would look so retarded. I BEG to DIFFER. I reckon it would be so fully sick, and I'd probably pick up a million Honky/Jap/Teenybopper/Fobs with it. Slammin'.

My workmate Deep decided that if I were to be an animal, I would be a fish... I thought he was making a dig at my lips (I was called 'fish lips' when I was younger *sniff*), but then when I asked what kind of fish, he paused for a second before saying "A Dory fish... like in Finding Nemo." I'm not that much of a ditz. No really..

More about my lips. I was asked if I used botox. I was reassured it was a compliment. HMPH!!!
*Sniff* My poor fat sausage lips.. like two huge bloated-on-blood leeches, clinging to the fat moon that is my face. Now there's some imagery.

I am so digging the spinach rolls at Michel's Patisserie... they're the bombastic! So everyone, go out there and do yourself a favour and get a spinach roll. If you're hesitant, they come in mini sizes too! Yum!
Oh, and I have one almost every day, and we went to the one around the corner on a break the other day and the little old lady said "Hello sweetie, what would you like?" and Deep immediately says "How did you know her name was Sweetie?!" and we all start laughing, only later find out they really think my name is Sweetie because the next time I go there the guy asks "What would you like today, Sweetie? Spinach roll? ... your name IS Sweetie right?"
Anyway, I think that would be such a cute name for a kid.

OooOOops

2005-08-16T23:13:00.000+10:00

So I have this terrible cough happening, where I cough like I want to cough out my intestines (mmm intestines) and it's really tiring because my chest is hurting from all the coughing and I'm developing abs, but my nose is not runny and my throat is not sore, so it's just this terrible itching that hits once in a while and I have to cough cough cough.
So the other night, Ali reminded me of the cough medicine he bought me a while ago, so I thought hey! Now, that's an idea! So the next morning I decide to take some before going to work, and as I couldn't find a measuring device, I decided to estimate...
I left work after an hour because my head felt like it was as big as a small beige single seat sofa, and I couldn't balance properly and my eyes felt so heavy and I was having hot flushes and wanted to spew and talking was difficult.
I slept on the train and when Ali picked me up I couldn't barely keep my eyes open.
Anyway, Ali showed me what 10ml was, I was surprised at how TINY the amount was, and realised I had taken like 40ml with my self measuring.

Um...

Ok, bye!

Little drummer boy

2005-08-13T16:54:00.000+10:00

About two minutes ago, I was sitting on Ali's bed, laughing my head off, because Ali was sitting on his bedroom floor, banging two glass bottles together, wailing "Warrior... come out to play-ee-aye!!" to his mum who was outside mopping the floor, until she told him it was horrible, and he yelled out that it was art, and then he stopped mid wail to say "Mum, have I ever told you that you look like a ribena berry today?" and she laughed her head off as did I... she was wearing all purple, and then he went back to banging his bottles and wailing "Warriorrr.. come out to play-ee-ayyye!!!" and his mum did a little dance.

My bread had a spot of mould on it so I picked it off and ate it anyway. Out of sight. Out of mind.

2005-07-28T18:30:00.000+10:00

For breakfast today I had four pieces of toast. One had philadephia dip, one had garlic sauce, one had seeded mustard and avocado, and one had butter and jam. I stuck the philadephia dip and garlic sauce one together to make a sandwich, and spread more garlic sauce on top. Oh and I had breakfast juice, which is really yummy, it had passionfruit, pineapple, banana, orange, apple, and I can't remember what else in it. My mum had cake.

EDIT:
My mum just came in to show me a dead squished flat garden skink... She said she found it when she lifted up the cardboard in the garage. At first I didn't know what it was until I looked closer. It looks like a pressed flower type of squishing.. perfectly preserved, poor thing. My dad came over to see what it was, because I was all "OH NOOOO!!" Then he went back to singing whilst he cooked. My mum raved on how pretty the skink is, flipping it over to show me the silver belly side, and "Look at the toes! Look at it's pose! It's so pretty and graceful - I'm going to save it to show Olivia." So now it's sitting in front of me waiting for Olivia to come home. Poor skink... R.I.P little skink. No I'm not going to scan it to show you.

EDIT 2:
Went grocery shopping today at Woolies in Bankstown where one little old lady asked another little old lady what that 'thing' was. She was pointing at a durian. The little old Greek or whatever she was lady umm-ed and aah-ed a bit and said it was an asian fruit... and that it was nice.. and then a lightbulb went *ding!* in her head and she said triumphantly that it was like a rockmelon. The little old white lady said "Ahhhhhh.." and then they parted ways. Durian = rockmelon = um.. no.

Bye bye Kieu!

2005-07-23T00:01:00.000+10:00

Kieu left for Amsterdan today, but before she went, we went to Bankstown, where Josh joined us for lunch.
Kieu was wearing a skirt today, and it suited just fine, as the weather was very very bright and sunny and it got very very warm - woohoooo! Purrrrfect!
Thi gave Josh a lighter, which looks exactly like a cigarette! It's very cool! I was going to say "JOSH! YOU SMOKE?!" But turns out he does not. Er, wait, so why did you get him a lighter, Thi?!
Kieu did not finish her Pho because she did not ration out her meat and noodles and could not eat meat without the noodles.
Tiff did not like her iced coffee because it was too bitter? So I mixed it a few times for her, but it was still too bitter for her to finish. Mmm, iced coffees are yummo.
After lunch, Thi bought some lollies from an asian grocer, they were yoghurt flavoured - yummo! Kieu stocked up on some for her plane trip over.
Josh leaves us, and we go on to the airport where we have photo hugs and then it's bye bye Kieu...

CLICK FOR PICS!

Oh, I went to Bankstown with Olivia afterwards and as we were walking past a shop front I say to Olivia "Alright, if you HAVE to wear ONE of these, which would you wear", of course they were all men's wear but anyway, that's not the point... people had just crossed the road and were walking past us, when out of the corner of my eye, I see this guy stop and look at me and look at hte store window. My sixth sense tells me he is going to talk to me. So I tell Olivia, "Let's go." She of course stands there still, and sure enough as I turn to walk off, the guy is staring at me with this incredulous look of awe on his face and he says to me "Hello beautiful." I walk past with Olivia who finally gets it and I stare at him and give him an up and down look of disgust but he doesn't get it and says "You're so beautiful." still with his look of awe, so I step it up a notch and tell him "Fuck you." And STILL he doesn't change his face, usually people start calling me all sorts of rude names by then, a total change from what they were saying before but this guy, he was enamoured, and he keeps saying Im beautiful, and I am now hm, 3 metres away and I mouth "FUCK YOU." To him and wave my rude finger at him, and he is still in awe but starts doing that tongue wiggling thing really fast - EWWWW.
Anyway, at the lights, waiting to cross, Olivia asks what I did, so I reenact my rude finger waving only I stare at some lady who is waiting for the light and I don't realise I'm staring at her til after I've done it so I was like whooooops and we giggled, but I think she realised I wasn't doing it at her because she looked like she could have decked me one if she wanted to. She was an Islander woman.
Oh and the guy was Lebanese or something. Guys are disguuuuusting!!!
On our way home we got a chicken kebab to share but it was so gross I chucked mine - yes it was THAT gross!

Maybe Kieu will forget about us because she is having too much fun in Amsterdan and one day she'll find an old yellowed photo of us and she'll be like who the freak are these ugly asians I'm standing with! Sven! Check out these ugly asians I'm standing with...

My Diet Plan

2005-07-21T18:17:00.000+10:00

Following the support I had from everyone when I posted about losing weight, I have come up with a fantastic diet plan which doesn't involve much self inflicted dieting.
So since my parents have come back from their trip to China, which no, was not to visit relatives and yes it sounds retarded but they went for a singing competition, no, not karaoke, they went with a choir and competed with choirs all over the world, and guess who came first? Gooooo Aussies! Haha. Yeah. Anyway, so since coming back from China, food in the house has become more and more scarce, and I am thinking perhaps this is how I keep my fantastically fit, and incredibly toned pecs and abs and tripods and er.. lymphatic glands.. in tip top shape, because it's like being on a constant diet.. unless I cook/go out to eat, in which case it's like a total binge fest.
Anyway, mum has been explaining her NOT buying the groceries because dad has not been giving her grocery money... and how she bought a durian the other day... with get this - her OWN money - and so the stupid fruit is sitting there on the floor, collecting dust and confusing echidnas in heat who wander in and out of the house sometimes. I mean, if she is going to buy something.. why not a box of instant noodles, why are durian?! Although I am quite fond of durian I must say.
What's my point? Um, let me gather my brain cells...
Oh yeah. So she hasn't been buying any groceries, and I have been surviving on... nothing. Yes, nothing! There isn't ANYTHING to eat in the house... there's a measly assortment of spreads in the fridge, some rice paper in the cupboard. Um. Yeah.
So I'm thinking, how much weight can I lose if I only eat once a day, when they make dinner with whatever they bring home, or whenever Ali saves me and we go out to eat.
*Sigh* I'm hungry.
Oh and check out this photo, how paparazzi, and I'm digging how I look kind of tanned, instead of white, or purple now, because of the cold.

Rose tinted glasses.

2005-07-20T03:09:00.000+10:00

When I was little, I used to crawl around the floor eating dead flies and shit. My mum 'fondly' remembers nicknaming me the human vacuum cleaner.

Does that make you look at this photo different?

Let's talk about Love, baby..

2005-07-20T02:42:00.000+10:00

Kat says:
i want to blog. but i dont know what to blog about.

Thi says:
blog abt love

~~~

L O V E

So here we go...
Love.

Thi thinks it's a state of mind.. at least, that's what her cynical side thinks it is.

This is really hard.

Um..

~~~

I think Love is complicated, no matter how simple you want it to be, it's always complicated.. I think it's about letting yourself go and really pouring everything into someone, really opening up to them, so you hurt 1000 times more, but you know it's worth believing in?
You'll ache, you'll cry, you'll curl into a ball, you'll hate them and resolve to not be the one who calls after a fight but really, you know you're hurting because you feel alone and even though they're the last person you want to see, they're also the only one you want right now.. the only one who can hold you and tell you they love you and everything will be alright..
You can hate them, but you know inside, you're not hating them, you're hating feeling like this, because that's how much you love them. I guess you can blame them as much as you want, but in the end it all comes back to nothing mattering once you're in that special person's arms, they can wipe away the tears and you're in love again, or should I say, you're not scared that you're going to lose some of their love.
Love is intense... or can be. I guess it all depends on how much you believe in it? How much you went through before, and if you've become jaded about Love, or are carrying baggage that you may or may not believe you should carry with you forever, consequently carrying it all over into new relationships. I think no matter how much we say it's a clean slate, or really try for a clean slate, we always carry something along, scar tissue. It's not always a conscious thing, but I think it affects, slightly, how we are with the next person. And it's not fair. But hey.. shit happens.
I guess as long as you keep trying, keep believing, and are hopeful, or willing to work at things and listen to the other person's side, you can't go too wrong. Unless you aren't compatible to begin with. In which case, Love isn't enough.
This is really messy and confused, so I will stop rambling. I think what is most important, and what I think Love is.. is how much you want it to work, how much you believe in it, and how much you're willing to give to make that person Happy.. and it could be hard because it could mean you have to change or do things that you might not be comfortable with doing but you know you have to at least try to work at because it means a lot to the other person.. I don't mean bum sex, or boob jobs etc, but maybe it means you have to open up and also really take in what the other person is like, and you have to somehow mesh together and have an accepting understanding of how the other thinks/feels/reacts and then work on it from there. Um.
I guess at the end of the day, if after a fight, all you can think of is how miserable the other person must be feeling and how much you love them and if panic sets if when you look into the future and it's a big blank because they might not be in it.. than that might be Love?
Ok, this is so retarded and frustrating. END.

Ok Thi, I will spare you the red eyes, next time.. give me a topic I can talk about.. like.. intestines..

I pasted Thi all that... because I thought she should suffer as she wanted me to post about it... haa.

Thi says:
u can write 'love is tiring to read about'

and

Thi. says:
talk abt love is depressing when youre not in it

But I don't think I will because it's a waste of space when I'm such a terrible all over the place rambler, as well as a waste of eye power for those bothering.

More Than Asparagus

2005-07-16T21:36:00.000+10:00

I wonder if you ever catch me looking at you?

Sometimes you tickle/pick on me.

Actually, you ALWAYS tickle me.

But you (mostly) always let me get you back.

I know that you'll always be behind me...

...Whatever I do.

I know you'll listen to me babble, even when it makes no sense.

I like that we're mates.

I feel special when you confide in me.

It's funny how we keep discovering common links.

You're always willing to try new food. Even if they sound or taste horrendous.

And you're not afraid to do silly things to make me smile...

...even though sometimes I don't get it.

I like that you're a photo enthusiast.

I like that anything goes, in photos.

I like giggling over our 'anything goes' photos.

I don't even mind when you cut me off.

I like that we stupid dance.

I like that we're super gangster.

You pretend to be scary, but I know you're not.

You pretend to be crazy... actually. You don't pretend.

I like being crazy together.

It's funny when we pull the same face unintentionally.

I like that we're both hairy.

I like being shorter than you.

I like how my hand is so much smaller than yours.

And my feet!

I wonder if people can see our love glow?

You're very loving...

... I call it stubble love rash.

I think we make good dog faces.

Make that, guard dog faces.

I love you, monkey man.

More than asparagus.

Happy three months :)

3 months of what?

2005-07-16T17:13:00.000+10:00

Tiff and Albert~

Tiff says:
btw i volunteered u to kat to serenade her and ali tonight for their 3 mths

Albert says:
aww.. how sweet..

Albert says:
3mnths of wat

Tiff says:
of relationship! what else

Albert says:
r they goin out

Tiff says:
didnt u know?

Albert says:
nope

Tiff and Kat~

Kat says:
hqha thats funny

Kat says:
how he said aw how sweet and then asked 3 months ofwhat

Tiff says:
haha maybe he thought it was 3 mths of errr being pen pals or something

Kieu's Do

2005-07-12T18:14:00.000+10:00

The saturday just passed saw a bunch of us girls celebrate the good riddance of bad rubbish Kieu.
That silly lump of a footstool will be tramping around in Amsterdan not long from now, and for a whole 6-7 months, she will be doing her hair up in stolen hair do's (which I have yet to try Kieu - I'll let you know how it goes hah), trying to figure out her beefpork mince (?!), answering only to the name 'Heidi', and deviously trapping herself a Sven.

So we met at Pancakes at the Rocks, and there was a huge line, it trailed all the way up the stairs and scattered onto the footpath. Oh no wait, that was when we were leaving, when I arrived, it was trailing all the way up the stairs and then suspiciously close to the rest rooms.
We chit chatted whilst we waited for our table, topics of conversation included, Kanya's love interest/person who was/is interested in her/her mum saying not to move there as it's too far or something, and then the girls trip to Vegas which Kieu said Fi was to talk to Van about, but then Van who was absorbed in the convo somehow didn't understand a thing and was all "Who? What? Trip to where? What's my name?" and Sally and Tiff asking me how Ali was (good, thanks).

Hm, looks like at this rate, this post will be huge, and I know how you all hate my big arse long fat rambling posts, so.... it's time for POINT FORM! Yes, the point form that doesn't really work but gives the illusion of non babblingness.

Yes, I realise I am making up words.
Ahem:

* The girls - Thao P, Kanya, Rosanna, Tiffany, Sally, Van, Kieu, Alice, Margaret, Me, um... am I missing anyone?

* Tiff and I shared ribs, as Tiff hadn't had any before so I thought I'd introduce her slowly... tried to teach her how to get it off the bone, but she ended up using her fingers. And we shared some pancakes - jaffa orange, um, chocolate pancakes with orange slices. It was sickening.

* Tiff and I noticed that everyone ordered different drinks that night, and there were 10 of us!

* Alice asked if I'd introduced Ali to asian food, I said yes, she said does he like it? I said yes, she said so do you have it often? I said "Well... he said that he is shitting noodles." She said that was too much information.

* Maggie asked how you were, Ali.

* In the bathroom, Sally asked how Ali and I were, I gushed a bit, Sally called us her 'Happy Couple' and then in a slightly threatening tone "So you better STAY. HAPPY."

* After pancakes, we walked up hill down hill to the Shangria Hotel or whatever it's called, we lost Rosanna and Alice on the way, so there were only 8 of us left. The lights looked like boobs. Thao told me to get my mind out of the gutter.

* At the Blue bar inside the hotel, Kieu had a malibu and pineapple, Margaret had a Showgirl, Sally had a Mangolo and I had a Casablanca. Sally and I had the best drinks I reckon, they were ultra pretty and tasted scrumdiddlyuptious. They were non alcoholic, mine had a glace cherry floating in it though, ugh, so I gave it to Kieu to eat.

* This tipsy woman and her friend sit down with us, the talking woman cpllasping next to Maggie who showed fantastic 'UGH' body language however the lady did not get it, she has huge boobs, they were popping out of her top. She introduced herself (hm, forgotten her name), and told us it was her friend's birthday today, we all said Happy Birthday. And then she started interrogating everyone.
She asked what we were here for, we said Kieu was going to Amsterdan, she asked oh so what are you celebrating? Um.... Kieu is going to Amsterdan.
She asked where we were all from. We all hesitate as that question is always hard to answer when you're asian, um... Sydney, Kieu ventures to say. She goes no... but where? Everyone is confused. Um? In the end we run through being from the west and then Kieu says how half of us were chinese and half were viet, only Kanya is Cambodian.. and so is Maggie?! Not sure there.
Woman tells us she is Armenian. She says Hello in Mandarin. Asks how to say hello in Viet. Kieu asks Sally repeatedly how to say Hello in Viet. Um Kieu, Sally is Mandarin.
Woman teaches us how to say Hello in Armenian.. 'perkov???' well she drags her male friend over and makes us say it - the guy is not impressed and tells us we have serious problems.
Lull in conversation as we all stare at eachother probably thinking 'when is this crazy lady going to go awaaaaay!' when she starts another convo "SO! Who's in love?!" And without waiting for an answer, which none of us were going to give anyway, she suddenly turns and points at me "YOU!" I sit up wide eyed, everyones goes woooow how did you knoooooow?! Hehea. Armenian woman says it was the way I was clasping my cup and the way I glowed.
Kieu said I had to tell Ali this, and then asked her what else she could tell about us. She pointed at Van "You're the kooky one!" Van looks indignant. Kanya, Thao and Kieu say no, think you're a bit off on that one, *point at me* you'd be right if you said that about this one.. you'd be right if you said anything about this one. (Please explain!)

* I tell the girls how it is fun to jump really high when you're in a lift that is going up or down, as you lose your sense of balance and you sometimes fall down but it's fuuuun. Sally tries and stumbles. Promises to try again on a different lift. Hehee.

* We walk around taking photos, we pass Lowenbrau, where this guy tells us to come and sit with them. He was with a few girls. We laugh and keep walking. Guy says no come on! Sit down! Kanya says "Will you buy us all a drink?" Guy says YES! We laugh (as if, there's 8 of us) We keep walking, guy gets irrate, and starts demanding me sit down. Er. "DON'T WALK AWAY! COME BACK HERE!"

*We decide to take a group photo. To spice things up, I decide the photo should be of all of us in the air. I force the camera off Maggie, and make her join in the jumping. I make them practise. "Ok, on the count of three!!!" The girls get tired and make me hurry up and take the photo. We take about 100 but it doesn't work out. Maggie grabs camera off me and she tries. As she was bagging me out for not being able to take the shot. After another 100 photos, she admits it is harder than it looks. We give up. Start walking off, Van almost forgets her bag.

* Off to the pub. Kieu walks in totally oblivious to the security guy saying "HEY!" at her for id. So the rest of us have to show our id. Where the girls sing along to the lone guitar singer dude. Donald Duck and Daisy Duck walk in and start dirty dancing with eachother - kind of gross, I take a shot of Kieu and Sally with Donald. They must have been so hot in those costumes.

* Home time, we discuss oysters, good places for drinks, Kieu's wednesday do, brooke Fraser, and then Spice Girls comes on the radio... so we pump it teehee, Thao is not so eager, but we pump it anyway, and wind the windows down, and sing and dance along, and I had to dance very very very hard and the guy in the car next to me jsut refused to look at me, and finally I see his wife peeking around him to see me, and the guy is still steadfastedly gripping the wheel. Myabe I'm a scary dancer.

Ok so that's my memories from the night.
Kieu, my dear woman, congrats, as you halfheartedly flamingly red facedly remarked, you can now drink one standard drink. Haha..

"it tastes like pee..."

2005-07-08T16:10:00.000+10:00

Today I got a call that went like this:

Man *with lebanese accent*: "Hullo I woodalike to order durkey."
Me: "A turkey?"
Man: "Yes."
Me: "Ok sure, do you have an address I can deliver it to?"
Man: "Yes, Leeverpool Ospidal, care of, Meesder Ali Ajaj."
Me: "Sure, so that's one turkey -"
Man: "No, four!"
Me: "Four! Ok so that's four turkeys - do you want them female or male?"
Man: "Giftwrapped."
~~~

So last night I went Korean Bbq-ing with Ali for his workmate Anna's birthday. Um.. I don't know how old she turned? She is tiny, with... a big toothy smile, all the better to EAT YOU WITH! No, she's cute and very smiley.

Poor Ali's wisdom teeth are growing again and he forgot to bring his er... numbing medicine stuff so he couldn't eat properly.

I hate how the grill thing slows down and wont cook anything, and I hate it because I never have enough. And everyone had stopped eating and I was still there willing the kidneys to cook dammit. Ali was like... you're still hungry aren't you? *Sniff*

When Ali introduced me it was kind of freaky when they'd say "Hi Kat, I've heard a lot about you." A few times they just said "Hi Kat." And then Ali would say "Oh this is Kat." And then they'd said "Hi Kat, I've heard a lot about you."

We sat across from Vanessa and her booooyfriend David, and I made him try an intestine, which he immediately passed on to Vanessa, and then a kidney, which he said tasted like pee, funny I'd never really noticed... and I didn't dwell on it, because they were the only things that were kind of cooking when everything else was staying raw.

I also sat next to Cheree/Cherie, who is white and likes strawberries, so I discussed strawberry things with her and showed her my strawberry hairtie, and I got her to try an intestine, giblet, and kidney. She thought they were interesting, but not something she'd eat again. Hehe, how nice.

Anna had a stickerphoto camera and she was going around taking couple photos and everyone has nice normal photos and then Ali and I decide we want to do asian peace signs (coz it's a sticker photo) but he would go for the cheesy cute asian peace sign, and I'd go for the gangster asian peace sign look, and then Thu jumps in, so um, here's our couple shot:

I hate chipped nailpolish.

2005-07-07T16:20:00.000+10:00

Yeah, since I last posted, my hair grew, and I've had a baby:

I may have a child to look after, but I still have time to paint my nails!

Actually I lie. I was looking through familiy photos.
This was from Martin's 1st Birthday. Which was... er... last year? Eh, I'm a bad... great aunt?! What do you call your cousin's kids? Yeah he's one of those...
He has since learnt how to walk, and he is beautiful! He has very very big eyes, like amazingly big! And very milky white skin. And very long eyelashes. People always think he is half white.
Nhu met him when he was 0 years old and a few weeks, and looking like a purple raisin, it was about an hour before her Pimps and Hoes party.

Here he is again, but he is smiling so his eyes are squished small.

Excuse the fat head frog woman and just look at the baby.

My cousins and I started playing with Martin's alphabet jigsaw mat thingo and we ended up with photos of the jigsaw boxes on our heads and crap like that so I won't post those as SOME PEOPLE think I'm on drugs as it is... instead I will post up my cool face that I made during the birthday dinner - yum yum!

Perfect tomato olive and bocconcini face!

Dammit his nose job didn't hold.

I'll just call my friend who has a bus..

2005-07-05T16:21:00.000+10:00

Today I lunched with the ever sunshiney Nhu and the adorable little Johnson at the crispy chicken place in Cabramatta. Mmm... Nhu and I laughed at Johnson's 'putting arm around a girl' techniques, which he wouldnt divulge to us so we had to act them out on eachother and then look at Johnson and ask if that was how he did it and we did all these really obvious moves, and laughed to ourselves whilst Johnson kept telling us to shuttup and steamed up his glasses with his tea to hide from us hahahaa he is so cute. So we tried to give him tips. Aw he is such a sweet kid.
Then we went to the BKK place and Nhu and I got the 6 choices on coconut juice and shaved ice, and Johnson got a jackfruit smoothie. Mmm mmm mmm..
Nhu and I like the same choices!!!!!! She was like "You know the tadpole ones??" And I was like "You mean the eyeball ones??" And then I looked in the window and pointed them out and we were like YEAH! YUM!!
And we love the jackfruit, and the green worms, and we hate the beans, yeah, cooool, 6 choices is yummy!!! I hadn't had one since... since a very long time ago.
Oh and Johnson loves Lebanese food! He was telling me how he goes with his friend to this place.. I asked him where, he said Punchbowl.. I asked what name? He said Jasmines, I said Lakemba? He said yeah! I said oh my gosh that's where Ali and I always go! YEAH!! So Ali, we have to go with them, because Nhu wants to try, and Johnson's favourite is the shish kebab ones, and I love garlic sauce. Mmmm GARLIC SAUCE.

I got a call not long ago...
It went like this:

Man: "Hi this is Graham from Pets Paradise in Casulla, is this Miss Catherine Feng?"
Me: *puzzled* "Yeah..?
Graham: "Blah blah, your order has come through, so you can come pick it up whenever you want."
Me: "Pardon?"
Graham: "Your order has come through, so you can come pick up your baby elephant whenever you're ready."
Me: *lightbulb* "Ohhhh!! Thanks a lot! I'll have my friend come pick it up, because he has a bus, so if you could just strap the elephant on top that would be great."
Graham: "Yep, that's fine, would you like to leave a name with us? For the pick up?"
- phone cuts off -

Anyway, and then Ali calls, so I excitedly tell him about the baby elephant, he says oh cool, I say yeah so I'll get my friend to pick it up coz he has a bus, Ali says your friend has a bus? I say yeah! He says who? I panic and say I'M LYING!!
But that was pretty good huh? I lied for about 4 seconds. Yessssss..

I told Tiff about it too:

Tiff says:
really?? can i visit your baby elephant??

Tiff says:
can i sit on it?

hello kitty says:
sure you can!

hello kitty says:
but its not real tiff

hello kitty says:
im not really getting one

hello kitty says:
it was ALI

Tiff says:
is ali your baby elephant?

hello kitty says:
pretending

hello kitty says:
haha no!

Tiff says:
in that case i dont want to sit on him

hello kitty says:
ali pretended to be graham!

hello kitty says:
hahaa you could still sit on him

Tiff says:
haha is graham even real??

hello kitty says:
but he wont be an elephant

hello kitty says:
nope graham was ali

hello kitty says:
as in... ali put on a voice and pretended to be a graham

hello kitty says:
and i told ali that i was getting a baby elephant and i would get my friend to pick it up coz he has a bus

hello kitty says:
i dont have a friend who owns a bus

Tiff says:
haha it'd be cool if we had a friend who owned a bus

And now for something completely different.

Ali and his babies.

On losing face.

2005-07-04T02:37:00.000+10:00

So I was scrolling through The Actress Archives, as I am prone to do. I have to say, I love Linsay Lohan's new look. I love the blonde hair on her. I think she looks more grown up, sophisticated and not so... ugly?? I thought she was kind of plain before, like eh... but now it's like ooh wow.. the blonde hair and the weight loss emphasised her facial features a lot more. Before it was like um, she has thin lips. Now it's like oh, the thin lips compliment her face.
And the most interesting thing?! Her face has slimmed down! And how good does it look?!

Check it out!

Before................................................................ After

Before

After

I am THIS interested as to post about it because I suffer from FHS. I'm good at disguising it I know, I have pretty much perfected the head tilt, the hair used as a frame, the slightly from the side angle, so that noone will know my ugly secret... that I suffer from Fat Head Syndrome.
Yes, my jaw is of mammoth proportions, grotesquely huge, jutting out like it wants to be the centre of attention. It's HIDEOUS I tell you.. HIDEOUSFREAKSHOWHIDEOUS!
I also have HUGE-NUNG-GUS (yes I know it's not a word but I like to say it) fish lips, which I have gotten teased about *sniff* and I also have a GINORMOUSLY fat nose.
The lips I don't mind so much, but the nose and the jaw, oh my gosh someone attack my head with a hammer and chisel now thanks be to god.

And then Thi tells me how she is skinnier before she eats and then is fatter after she eats and yes, I know, that would be logical, but as in she is NOTICEABLY fatter after she eats, if only to herself, she swears that her cheeks get fatter, and as evidence, she showed Anamur, how her how her pants fit, and then didn't fit, in one night, and he thought she was a freak. Maybe this only makes sense/interests me.

Anyway, and then:

Thi says:
haha that reminds me.

Thi says:
i was taking a photo of andy and ali

Thi says:
and andys face looked fat cos he was in a weird angle

Thi says:
so i said to him 'remember what we talked about? how i taught u how to angle ur face??'

Thi says:
then he goes ok ok and tried to tilt

Thi says:
and ali said 'oh yes, frame your face'

catherine says:
hahahaa

Thi says:
haha then i laughed and said sumfin like im glad u pay attention to kat

catherine says:
hahaha

catherine says:
it's very important to frame your face when you have a fat face like me!!!!!!

Anamur and Ali.
This is the 'after' photo.. the 'before' photo was deleted.
HOW CUTE ARE THEY?! AWWW....

Anyway, my point is, I'm thinking wow, if slimming down can make such a difference to Lindsey Lohan's appeal (to me at least because Porky think's she looks terrible and anorexic now) then if *I* slimmed down... maybe my face would slim down too! INGENIUS IDEA!!!! And then I wouldn't be so selfconscious about my disgustingly obese fathead jaw.
AND then I wouldn't have to hide behind my hair AND then maybe I'd tie my hair up more AND then maybe um... I'll have a thinner face! Yesssss...

So Lindsey Lohan is my inspiration.
....

That sounds retarded.

Tiff's 22nd Birthday!

2005-07-04T00:11:00.000+10:00

On Friday we celebrated Tiff's 22nd Birthday... although her real birthday was on the 13th.
Tiff came around to pick me up and we chatted on the way to Van's, she asked if Ali was going, I said no, he wasn't invited. She said it wasn't really an invite thing, so to call him. I asked are you sure? She said yeah, call him! So I gave him a call, and he said to give him a call when we go to the dinner thing. I gave Tiff the letter/card thing we made for her the night before, Ali kept wanting her to read it at the dinner but she was trying to eat.
At Van's we got into our first game of poker.. I secretly planned to die as swift as possible (as in lose the game) but somehow kept coming back to life and winning relatively big on my meagre pile of diminuishing chips... I only divulged my devious plan to Jace who I was sitting next to, and I lost some rounds in some pretty good ways, like I had a pair of 2's and I'd keep raising, now that's cool dude... Jace just shook his head at me and at the end of my game he thanked me for the laughs. Oh I finally lost all my chips by putting all my chips in on something that was only mediocre and so the situation was either scare everyone off and win big, or they have better cards. They had better cards. Oh well. Jace laughed his head off.
I was so hungry I couldn't concentrate on the game anyway, I hadn't had any dinner as my mum refused to cook... she told me to eat this sweet rice stuff, that is a sweet, not a dinner thing, and to eat finger bananas. Um. No...
So at Van's I had three midget bananas and then decided I shouldn't eat anymore before I eat all her house down, tried to warm my feet on her heater but it didn't work, so cold...
I gave Ali retarded directions to the restaurant but he somehow found his way.
Thi was excitedly telling us about the live karaoke the restaurant had, but it wasn't on when we were there... Tri went to ask for it and apparently they only have it on for functions, but Thi said the last time she went, they had it on and the worker's were all singing.
Poor Kieu only had a fried icecream because she had her wisdom teeth taken out on Monday and was still bruised, but it wasn't as bad as she made it out to be, she did not look like a watermelon head. I told her she looked fine, just like she had two peanut mnm's in her cheeks, not golfballs, so it's all good.
More it's such a small world proof: Chhai said Ali xrayed his grandma - I had a mild panic attack because Ali always tells me stories about how he mucks with people's brains at work, so when I tentatively asked what she said about him, I was relieved to hear him say his grandma said Ali was very nice. Of course he is. Hehe.
Later on the way home, I was telling Ali how Tri was going to bring Ning - and Ali cries "Ning?! I know Ning! From Canberra! She's my good friend who taught me chiw juw!"
So there you go, small world.
Oh, Tiff came third in poker! Yay Tiff! Josh came first, Thi came second, that was expected right?? Josh and Thi always win? Oh and Thi's poker set is pretty - the pink chips were my favourite, they looked strawberry flavoured mmm..

Happy Birthday Tiff!
Pictures!

And that is why my nose is flat.

2005-07-01T17:36:00.000+10:00

I have decided I seriously need to learn how to LIE.
I can't seem to lie at all, about anything, to anyone, whether it is a white lie, a big fat whopping bad lie, or just something that is better left unsaid. I will spill all. That is bad.
I thought I had figured out a way of avoiding telling everything, by only answering what people ask... but sometimes people ask the right question and there is NO alternate answer to give, and my brain panics and it scrabbles for something - anything! But ultimately the truth comes out of my mouth.

This is particularly stressful when my mum questions me. Not too long ago, right before I walked out the front door, and mum had been staring at Ali who was waiting outside in the car, my mum said "Is he your boyfriend?" and I just said "Yes." Then closed the door and in my head was like 'shitshitshitshit'

Then last night, I was at Ali's, and my mum calls. I'm like 'shitshitshitshit' what should I say?! Ali says to make something up but obviously not to tell the truth (that I was at his this late). I pick up the phone:

Mum: "When are you coming home?"
Kat: "Soon."
Mum: "What suburb are you in?"
Kat: *tries to buy time to think of a good answer by pretending she doesn't understand* "Huh?"
Mum: "I said, what suburb are you in?"
Kat: "Auburn." 'shitshitshitshit'
*Ali who is sitting on his computer chair stares at me with his mouth open and startes waving his arms in a NOOOO fashion*
Mum: "Are you at your boyfriend's house?"
Kat: *on auto* "Yes."
*Ali covers his mouth, stares at me and shakes his head in dismay*

On the way home in the car, Ali was coming up with prepared answers for me, incase I was questioned further at home. The worst thing was his answers were all really logically, and for some reason I was all WOW! That's a great answer! I could never have thought of that!
So in conclusion, yeah, I need to learn how to lie.

*****
Oh yeah, Ali bought stupid silly string spray and kept spraying his family, and then his mum got him back because Ali told her "Hey mum, try my new deodorant" But she didn't fall for it and started spraying him, only it got me, and Liz and Liz's apple and the cats' scratching post and everything. Then Ali wrestled it off her and sprayed her whole head and because she had hairspray in her hair, it wouldn't come off, and Ali refused to get it off, so I had to, and then Ali vacuumed his mum like a carpet. Vroooooom!

*****
Thi is in love with Batman. As in, the character, not the guy that plays him - she is gushing and swooning over BATMAN. She has ordered me to watch it.

catherine says:
do you dream about him? haha

thi says:
haha no i wish i did!

thi says:
he's just so sleek

thi says:
cos you know how superman is too good? like goody two shoes... boring

thi. says:
but batman is real

catherine says:
oh yeah

thi says:
well as realistic as he could be being a hero
~~~
Ahahaha...

*****
I was looking through old english class journals and found two entries where I write poems about the people I sit with in English:

11/5/98 + 12/5/98
Dear Journal,
Poems of people. (In no particular order.)

Erwin Lobo, you're so super,
wait - change that to super dooper,
You like songs made by Peal Jam,
I hope you're a-llowed to eat ham.
If you're not, then don't eat Spam
Why not try some nice roast lamb?
If in doubt, don't try it out,
You could wrinkle if you pout.

Katie Cellich is a babe,
All day about her I cound rave,
Well, it's false, what I have just spoken,
Talk about Katie? You must be jokin'.

Peter is a sexy sister
Grow up to be a fine young mister
On his foot, you'll find no blister
don't you find it hard to resist her?

Apostoles is a pain,
Because I can't spell his name
One day I will ring his mum,
And tell her that their name is dumb*

Julia Speros, that Greeky wog,
Likes 2pacs with sixpacks,
And Snoop Doggy Dog.
Posters and posters of Craig on the wall,
Her dream job - Montoya's personal whore.

Ali Ajaj - whatta stud
I love him like how pigs love mud
Although he can be quite a bum
He's mostly 100% yum.

Richard Keep, you horrible thing
Who will not accept that Ronaldo is king
Or that Carlos Valderama is better by far
Than Arsenal, - whoever they are.

*Please don't take this in offence, I only said this to make it rhyme.

*****
My mum just asked me what it was my 'friend' did. I said "Radiographer."
She said "Radio??"
I said "GRAPHER"
She said "What's that in chinese?"
I said "He does xrays."
She said "Oh.. is he the one you went to school with?"
I said "Yes."
She said "Give me money so I can pick up your contacts tomorrow."

Pickup Truck

2005-06-29T02:58:00.000+10:00

Today Ali and I went to the Aquarium. It was smaller, and took very little time to get through... much to our puzzlement, as we both remembered it to have been a bit more fulfilling of an experience. Oh well.
I love the funny squid things, they're the cooolest... and eels... mmm... yummy...
Ali pointed out that I couldn't seem to look at anything without saying I wanted to eat them/I eat them/they're yum.
Oh yeah, I like the fish that look like they've been dipped in different flavoured paint - exactly at their halfway point.
I realised I get scared of statues... as when we went to the Reptile Park in Gosford the other day, I was all antsy at the huge reptile statues.. and today at the aquarium I was all antsy at the Finding Nemo shark statue near the entrance. Ali said he'd protect me from the statues.
Oh but I wasn't scared of the crocodile head statues - because they're just heads you see, so even if they were real, they would be dead anyway, because it's just the head - and not the whole animal. Yeah, Ali said I didn't make any sense... but he'd protect me from the statues anyway. I said I didn't need protection from statue heads.

I got the last Hello Kitty toy from Macca's Happy Meal - YESSSSS!!
When we were at Macca's, (before we went to the aquarium) our cashier girl was new, and this guy was trying to help her, and she didn't even look like she spoke English... Ali said no, she DID speak English, because his reasoning was that when the guy told her because we'd gotten a Happy Meal, we get a toy with that, she vaguely said "Toy?"
Then they said to have a good day and off we went but then I thought huh? Have I paid yet? Ali said huh.. have you?! And we turned around and they were timidly looking at us, so we hadn't paid. Er. They were cute.

We had bubble tea to drink on the train ride home - I had herbal jelly milk tea, Ali had taro pearl tea. Ali does not like my herbal jelly. He also makes me put some pearl balls on my tongue so he could check them out, and then I bit one in half so he could check it out, and then he made me do the same with the herbal jelly.

We were passing... Ashfield?? When Ali said "Look it's Alice." I was like what? Huh? You're lying,. As he is prone to do sometimes, just to confuse me. But he wasn't because I looked up and sure enough, Alice had gotten on and was sitting in the seat right next to the door. So Ali uses my phone to call her and he says "Hello...... I'm watching you......" in a scary low voice.. Alice frowns.. asks who this is... Ali says "Er, I'm right here." As he did not want a repeat of last time to happen (he made Margaret cry but scaring her on the phone), Alice spots us and comes down for a chat.
Ali gives Alice a lift back home, but along the way (walking to the car) we pass by Kanya, who is waiting for her dad. So we stop, and add her to our collection. And we laugh and joke about how maybe we will collect more people along the way if we wait long enough, and then Ali jokes "Haha look is that Tekky??" And the guy who was standing nearby waiting for his parents turns and says "Hey did you guys go to Sefton? Coz you look familiar." We all say yeah, he asks our names. We laugh. (Oh I recognised him when we stopped and collected Kanya, I just didn't know him... he was in a year below us)
Anyway, his parents come, we lose him, then we lose Kanya when her dad comes, so we keep walking to the car.

Ali and I watched Alfie at his place afterwards, it is a terrible movie. Horrific!
We had burritos and fake wine.

...

2005-06-27T02:15:00.000+10:00

I was thinking. But can't talk properly right now. This is the gist..
It's easy to plummet when you're Happy.
To Sad.
But it's hard to be anything other than Sad.
Probably because you can't 'plummet' upwards.